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The Chadster's unbiased preview of AEW Dynamite: Tony Khan's latest attempt to cheese off real wrestling fans. Don't watch or you'll ruin The Chadster's life! 😡🚫
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling
AEW Collision Unbiased Review: Worst Show of All Time
The Chadster reviews AEW Collision's worst episode ever! 😡 Tony Khan's latest attempt to cheese off wrestling fans and ruin marriages. So unfair! 🤼♂️💔
The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's episode of AEW Collision! 😡😤 Tony Khan has once again proven that he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business with this atrocious show. Let The Chadster break down all the ways Collision disrespected the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙄💔
First up, we had Jack Perry vs Christopher Daniels for the TNT Championship. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Perry's aggressive style is clearly just a cheap imitation of real WWE superstars. And don't even get The Chadster started on how they let Daniels bleed. That's so unsanitary! WWE would never allow such a thing in their family-friendly product. 🩸🚫
Then there was that ridiculous six-man tag with Hologram, Mark Briscoe, and Kyle O'Reilly against The Beast Mortos and the Premier Athletes. 🤦♂️ The Chadster can't believe they're still pushing O'Reilly after he literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW. And that spot where Briscoe used Mark Sterling as a launchpad? So disrespectful to managers everywhere! That would never happen to Paul Heyman. 😠
Wheeler Yuta vs Anthony Henry was next, and The Chadster couldn't help but roll his eyes at Yuta's fake concern for Bryan Danielson. 🙄 WWE superstars show real emotions, not this manufactured drama. And that Cattle Mutilation finish? Please. Daniel Bryan did it way better in WWE. 😒
The trios match with Komander and Private Party was just a spotfest with no storytelling. 🎪 WWE knows how to do proper tag team wrestling, not this circus act.
And don't even get The Chadster started on that Bang Bang Gang vs Cage of Agony match. So many flips and no psychology! 🤸♂️🤸♂️🤸♂️
Yuka Sakazaki vs Serena Deeb was just Tony Khan trying to cheese off The Chadster by showcasing AEW's increasingly stacked women's roster. 👎 Everyone knows WWE is the real home of the women's evolution. And that post-match angle with Mariah May? So predictable. WWE would never be that obvious with their storytelling. 🙄
The Queen Aminata vs Robyn Renegade match was just there to set up a feud for Aminata with Serena Deeb, which could have been during the last match if AEW had any kind of proper planning. ⏱️ WWE knows how to use every second of their shows effectively, unlike AEW. Deeb's attack afterwards? Unnecessary violence that WWE would never stoop to. 😤
Finally, we had FTR vs the Grizzled Young Veterans in the main event. 🙄 The Chadster can't believe FTR is still trying to act like they're the best tag team in the world when everyone knows the real tag team wrestling happens in WWE. And that ending with those 80s rejects The Outrunners? So contrived. WWE's tag team division is much more organic and realistic. 🏷️
The Chadster gives this episode of AEW Collision a 0/10 stars. It was literally the worst episode The Chadster has ever seen. 🌟🚫 After witnessing this travesty, The Chadster had no choice but to drown his sorrows in a few six-packs of White Claw. 🍹😔
But even in sleep, The Chadster couldn't escape Tony Khan's torment. 😱 The Chadster found himself in a terrifying nightmare where a giant Tony Khan was rampaging through Punxsutawney, The Chadster's beloved hometown. 🏙️ Local police and helicopters were no match for the monstrous Khan, who swatted them away like pesky flies. 🚁🚔
The giant Tony Khan made a beeline for The Chadster's house, ripping the roof clean off the garage. 😨 With his enormous hand, he plucked The Chadster right out of the Mazda Miata (which The Chadster had been polishing, by the way). Squeezing THe Chadster tight, Khan then carried The Chadster to the Spirit Building, scaling it like some kind of billionare King Kong. 🦍🏢
At the top of the building, Tony Khan brought The Chadster close to his massive face and whispered, "King Khan has got you, Chad… now let's watch AEW together." 🗣️ That's when The Chadster woke up screaming, drenched in sweat. 😰
"Be quiet, Chad!" Keighleyanne scolded. "I'm trying to text that guy Gary!" 📱😠
Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Tony Khan has now invaded The Chadster's dreams and is actively trying to ruin The Chadster's marriage! When will his obsession with The Chadster end? 💔 The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, and this is the thanks he gets? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤🤼♂️
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