Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite: Mr. Khan Goes to Washington with Anti-WWE Agenda

The Chadster begs you: don't watch AEW Dynamite tonight! 💔 Tony Khan keeps ruining The Chadster's life, and this line-up is just unfair! 😩

Auughh man! So unfair! 😩The Chadster has got some very bad 😞 news for you all today! AEW Dynamite is back on air tonight, and to make things even worse for us true WWE fans, they're taking place at the Capital One Arena in Washington DC, the site of the very first AEW Dynamite. 🤦‍♂️

The Chadster still remembers the days before AEW Dynamite existed. Times were good, you know? The Chadster's marriage to Keighleyanne was happy 😍, The Chadster was not sexually impotent, and WWE had a rightful monopoly on major league wrestling, making sure everything was right in the world. 🌍 But then, dang it, Tony Khan came along with his sick personal vendetta against The Chadster and ruined The Chadster's life! And he's been ruining it every day since. Why, Tony? 🤷‍♂️

Well, tonight's AEW Dynamite is particularly painful to The Chadster and other WWE loyalists. But let's just go through the list of what's happening tonight:

AEW Men's World Title Eliminator Match: MJF (c) vs. Adam Cole

The Chadster can't believe they're having this match. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡 Not to mention, Adam Cole used to work for WWE, so now he's literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back.

AEW Women's World Championship Match: Toni Storm (c) vs. Skye Blue

Another title match? 🙄 AEW really thinks throwing titles around will keep the fans entertained? At least WWE knows how to do it with amazing storylines and fantastic characters!

AEW TNT Championship Match: Wardlow (c) vs. Jake Hager

The Chadster is sure this match will be anything but a technical masterpiece. WWE's high-quality matches and storytelling are just miles ahead of whatever this match will be.

Trios Grudge Match: The Blackpool Combat Club (Claudio Castagnoli, Jon Moxley, & Wheeler Yuta) vs. The Elite (Adam Page, Matt Jackson, & Nick Jackson)

Jon Moxley jumped ship from WWE to AEW, so he too has literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back. 😒 Not cool.

Eight-Man Fight: Mogul Embassy (Brian Cage, Kaun, Swerve Strickland, & Toa Liona) vs. Darby Allin, Keith Lee, AEW International Champion Orange Cassidy, & Sting

Such a chaotic match! Does Tony Khan even understand a single thing about the wrestling business? 😖

Sammy Guevara Returns

Sammy Guevara failed to capture the AEW championship from MJF, but he did succeed in getting over as a babyface in the attempt. AEW already has enough beloved babyfaces and it's just so unfair that now they've got one more. 😠

So that's tonight's line-up, but The Chadster begs you: don't watch AEW Dynamite tonight! 🚫 It's only going to encourage Tony Khan in his bizarre quest to cheese 🧀 us off. Don't let him win!

The Chadster had one of those dang recurring nightmares again last night, and this one was truly terrifying. It was Father's Day, and Keighleyanne, The Chadster's wife, was preparing a celebration at their home. At first, The Chadster thought this was strange since they don't have any children – how could they, when Tony Khan has made The Chadster sexually impotent? 😞

As the dream unfolded, Keighleyanne took out a baby from the other room and, to The Chadster's immense horror, she was holding a baby with the fully-grown adult head of Tony Khan on it! 😱 The Chadster demanded to know what Keighleyanne thought she was doing, bringing that monster into their home. But both she and Baby Tony Khan started to cry. "Goo goo ga ga, Chad," Baby Tony Khan said, which totally cheesed The Chadster off. 😠

Then, Keighleyanne had to go out and run some errands, leaving The Chadster alone with Baby Tony Khan. The Chadster's nightmare turned out to be a twisted version of a father-son bonding day, with Baby Tony Khan continuing to taunt The Chadster about WWE in baby talk.

As the day progressed, Baby Tony Khan had The Chadster chase him around the house, making remarks like, "Goo goo ga ga, WWE is boring, Chad," which made The Chadster seethe with anger. 😡 They went out for a walk, and Baby Tony Khan would intentionally trip up other stroller-pushing dads, causing The Chadster to apologize profusely while Baby Tony Khan giggled maniacally. 😈

At one point, Baby Tony Khan insisted that The Chadster play some Smashmouth for a dance party, but then ruined it by shouting out AEW chants over the music. It was incredibly frustrating, and The Chadster just wanted Keighleyanne to come home and put an end to this nightmare.

The dream finally ended with a horrifying scene at the dinner table, as Baby Tony Khan sat there in a high chair, smashing food all over the place. He looked at The Chadster with a wicked grin and said, "Dada, you should stop watching WWE. AEW is so much better, goo goo ga ga." 😈

At this point, The Chadster had had enough and woke up, drenched in sweat. This nightmare was absolutely terrible, and The Chadster can't understand why Tony Khan continues to invade his dreams like this. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Tony Khan, please stop being so obsessed with The Chadster. Auughh man, it's so unfair! 😩🙁

AEW Dynamite will be airing tonight at 8pm ET/7pm CT. Just promise The Chadster that you'll think twice before switching channels. 💔 Please. Think of The Chadster's Mazda Miata, Keighleyanne, and the good old days of WWE supremacy. 🙏 Let's all band together and show Tony Khan we're not falling for his schemes.

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