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AEW Dynamite Ratings and Viewership Up for CM Punk Squash

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Expect to see more worked shoots and popular babyfaces losing squash matches because ratings were up for AEW Dynamite this week! A lot of people claimed that Tony Khan didn't know what he was doing just because everybody backstage apparently hates each other and people are going into business for themselves inside and outside the ring, but Tony proved them all wrong, comrades! Dynamite topped a million viewers this week and came in number one on cable with a .34 in the 18-49 demographic. Not only that, people of almost all demographics respond well to worked shoots and champions losing squash matches on television, because the numbers were up in women and men 18-49, women, men, and people 18-34, and people 25-54, with only the 50+ demo seeing basically no change, according to Showbuzz Daily.

Tony Khan Reveals Plans for AEW To Invade Canada

Now, comrades, all AEW has to do is create a toxic work environment every week and job their champions in five-minute matches. Sorry, Jade Cargill, but it's time to say "adios" to that streak! The marks will never see that one coming! Haw haw haw haw!

In other news, after AEW Dynamite went off the air last night, Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks came face-to-face with Will Ospreay and United Empire ahead of their semifinal match in the AEW World Trios Championship tournament. What if they face each other next week and Kenny takes the pin in three minutes because he came back from injury too early? That would really get those marks tuning in.

Matches planned for next week's AEW Dynamite include Jake Hager facing Bryan Danielson, plus Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter taking on Toni Storm and Hikaru Shida. Maybe Hager will shockingly beat Danielson ahead of Danielson's match with Chris Jericho at All Out. Maybe Hayter can shoot on Baker in the ring because they secretly hate each other in real life. Look, comrades, you've got to do what works for the ratings!

Next week's Dynamite is the final show before All Out, which airs on September 4th. Until next time, comrades: socialism or death!

 

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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