Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: This is Not The Chadster's Wrestling

The Chadster watched AEW Dynamite so you don't have to! 😤 Find out why he thinks Tony Khan is OBSESSED with cheesing him off! 🤬 Plus, hear his case for the ICJ! 🏛️

AUUGHHH MAN! 🤬🤬🤬 SO UNFAIR!!! 😡😡😡 The Chadster is writing to you, his loyal readers, after subjecting himself to another excruciating episode of AEW Dynamite. Honestly, this might have been the worst episode of televised so-called wrestling The Chadster has ever seen in his life, and that's saying something! 😭😭😭 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠😠😠

The Chadster doesn't even know where to begin. 🤯🤯🤯 First of all, MJF is back. The Chadster was really hoping that maybe, just maybe, MJF would have come to his senses during his time away and realized that the real wrestling is in WWE. But noooooo! He comes back and immediately starts running his mouth about how great he is, even namedropping Cody Rhodes as a guy he beat. 🙄🙄🙄 Please. Like that match even counted when it happened in AEW! And don't even get The Chadster started on Rush! Why is Tony Khan giving this guy a platform? Doesn't he realize that Gunther is the only true Ring General? It's just so disrespectful. 😤😤😤

And then there was that four-way match for a shot at Will Ospreay's precious International Championship. 🤮🤮🤮 The Chadster is so sick of hearing about this title. It's just another example of AEW trying to pretend like they're some kind of international wrestling powerhouse. 🙄🙄🙄 Don't they realize that WWE is a global phenomenon? You know what was a real belt? The WWE 24/7 title. So much better than this. The Chadster bets Triple H isn't losing any sleep over this "International Championship." 🥱🥱🥱 Anyway, The Chadster won't bore you with the details, but Rey Fenix won, which just figures. The Chadster is pretty sure Tony Khan booked this match just to cheese him off! 🤬🤬🤬 It's like that time The Chadster went to get his Mazda Miata washed and saw Tony Khan out of the corner of his eye. Khan was lurking behind a palm tree, and when The Chadster went to confront him, Khan was gone. But The Chadster knows what he saw! It's like Tony Khan is stalking him or something! The Chadster just wants to enjoy his White Claw in peace!

Speaking of White Claw, The Chadster may have gotten a little bit agitated during the Mark Briscoe match. The Chadster doesn't condone violence, but when he sees good, honest wrestling being disrespected like that, sometimes his emotions get the best of him. The Chadster may or may not have thrown his White Claw at the TV when Brian Cage — who The Chadster actually thought was pretty decent back in his WWE developmental days, though he clearly learned nothing from that — lost to Briscoe. Now The Chadster has a sticky mess all over his floor and Keighleyanne is giving him the silent treatment. The Chadster is starting to think that she's more interested in texting that guy Gary than she is in spending time with her husband. Thanks, Tony Khan. 😡😡😡

Auughh man! 😓😓😓 The shenanigans on AEW Dynamite just never stop, and The Chadster's blood pressure can't take much more of it. 🤬🤬🤬

First of all, let's talk about the blatant disregard for authority figures with Renee Paquette interviewing Samoa Joe alongside HOOK (yes, all caps because he's "so cool," whatever). 🙄🙄🙄 And then Tony Nese has to barge in and start trouble. This sort of blatant unprofessionalism would NEVER be tolerated in WWE. 💔💔💔 Auughh man! So unfair! 😡😡😡

And then there's the spectacle of Chris Jericho walking around with Bryan Keith and Big Bill, handing out unwanted advice. The Chadster doesn't get why Jericho is able to just reclaim all the criticism of him and turn it into a storyline. It's just ludicrous! 😤😤😤

And let's not even get into the audacity of The Acclaimed. Their disrespect towards authority by not reading the clearly laid out rules in the AEW Employee Handbook? The Chadster doesn't care for The Elite either, but he would never disobey Authority. 😩😩😩 It was a reasonable response when The Acclaimed had their microphone privilege revoke mid-rant – something The Chadster has dreamed of doing to Tony Khan so many times. 🎤🚫🎤🚫 Though The Chadster has nothing but respect for authority, seeing The Elite flex their EVP muscles rubs The Chadster the wrong way because it's just another reminder of the chaotic power structure in AEW. 😖😖😖

The Chadster cannot comprehend how AEW Dynamite even calls itself a wrestling show when you have teams like Team CMLL and Blackpool Combat Club going at it in a "Grudge Match." The Chadster hasn't seen this kind of disregard for traditional wrestling since… well, since never, because it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡😡😡

Dynamite had the audacity to show Daniel Garcia in his "heartwarming" homecoming. The Chadster doesn't need these reminders that Buffalo, NY exists, okay? 🏠😒 And The Chadster is sure that The Acclaimed trying to get retribution on The Elite is going to end in just the kind of cheap drama that AEW loves. Just end it already! 😖😖😖

Then the sad display of corporate greed with Christian Cage sucking up to the EVPs for a title shot. This wouldn't happen in WWE, where title shots are earned, not schmoozed for.

And don't get The Chadster started on Saraya ambushing Mariah May before the ring bell in their match. If only she knew how to wrestle with dignity like WWE superstars. 🤼‍♀️🙅‍♂️🤼‍♀️ And the ending to that match, with Mariah May gathering both Toni Storm and Mina Shirakawa in her bosom… is this a wrestling show, or what? Clearly this was intended as a shot at The Chasdter's sexual impotence, which The Chadster has Tony Khan to thank for, by the way.

Then there was Bryan Danielson, the "American Dragon," talking about serious stuff like his last year as a full-time wrestler. The Chadster is beside himself thinking good old Daniel Bryan could end his career in AEW instead of WWE, where the Yes Movement started. 🐉😢🐉

Look, it's obvious that Tony Khan is booking this circus to cheese The Chadster off. Why else would he allow such chaos and disrespect for traditional wrestling to air on national television? 😵😵😵

There's only one solution: The Chadster is going to have to up his White Claw intake and listen to some more Smash Mouth to drown out the noise. 🎶🍹🎶 Because, as always, The Chadster is the voice of unbiased wrestling journalism, just like The Chadster's pals Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger. Together, we form an impenetrable wall against the bias that's ruining the industry. 🛡️🛡️🛡️

Doesn't Tony Khan understand a single thing about the wrestling business? The Chadster highly doubts it. 😔😔😔 What's even worse is Keighleyanne still texting that guy Gary instead of recognizing the injustice happening right on our television screens! Auughh man! So unfair!!! 😡😡😡

And then to top it all off, AEW Dynamite ended with Swerve Strickland retaining his so-called "World" Championship against Roderick Strong. 🙄🙄🙄 The Chadster just doesn't get it! Doesn't Tony Khan realize that Cody Rhodes and Damian Priest are what real champions are supposed to be like? It's like he's trying to create his own version of WWE, but with none of the history, prestige, or, frankly, talent.

And don't even get The Chadster started on this Forbidden Door pay-per-view! International collusion against WWE?!?!? It's an outrage! The Chadster thinks he has a case to take this all the way to the International Court of Justice! This blatant disregard for competitive practices is a menace to wrestling fans everywhere! Plus, The Chadster is pretty sure he remembers something about international corporate conspiracy being against the law from his college wrestling business classes! He aced those, by the way.

The Chadster is going to go drink himself into a stupor while listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on repeat and hoping that Keighleyanne doesn't ask him to take out the trash. 🗑️🗑️🗑️ The Chadster is begging you, his loyal readers, to please cleanse your wrestling palate after that AEW debacle by watching some real wrestling, like WWE Smackdown! Until next time, The Chadster is outta here! ✌️✌️✌️

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