Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, Rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Recap, Or How Tony Khan Ruined The Chadster's Weekend

It's Saturday morning, and you know what that means: it's time for The Chadster to do his best to recover from the torture inflicted on him Friday by AEW Rampage. Everybody knows that Tony Khan has a personal vendetta against The Chadster and books his wrestling shows with the sole purpose of RUINING THE CHADSTER'S LIFE, but you won't believe the extents Tony Khan went to in order to cheese The Chadster off this week.

The Chadster isn't one to blow things out of proportion. The Chadster is well-known for his objective and unbiased wrestling journalism, unmatched except perhaps by the similarly unbiased Ryan Satin. So believe The Chadster when he says that this week's AEW Rampage was by far the worst episode The Chadster has ever watched! In fact, it was one of the worst tragedies to ever befall mankind. Worse than the sinking of the Titanic. Worse than the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. Worse than the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918. Worse than the Salem Witch Trials. Worse than the Hundred Years War.

From the opening bell of AEW Rampage, The Chadster knew it was going to be a bad night. Jon Moxley defeated Sammy Guevara in a very physical wrestling match and then brawled with Hangman Adam Page afterward. FTR cut a blistering promo on The Gunns. Britt Baker defeated Skye Blue, and then Hikaru Shida saved Blue from a post-match beatdown and faced off with popular AEW Women's Champion Jamie Hayter ahead of their upcoming match on Dynamite. In an interview with Jim Ross, Preston Vance heelishly insulted the Dark Order and told Brodie Lee Jr. to grow up. Wardlow crushed Exodus Prime and then battled Samoa Joe on the mic. And in an exciting main event, Orange Cassidy, The Best Friends, and Dustin Rhodes beat Kip Sabian, The Butcher, The Blade, and Trent Seven.

The Chadster was totally outraged by this episode of AEW Rampage. Doesn't AEW realize that The Chadster's beloved WWE is going through a tough time right now?! Don't they see how bad WWE has looked in the biased media lately, with the whole Mandy Rose thing, and the Vince McMahon thing, and the Ric Flair thing, and the Sasha Banks thing?! It's like the wrestling world has completely forgotten about CM Punk's noble attempt to destroy AEW and has turned on Triple H! Auugh man! So unfair!

Why can't AEW cut WWE a break? Why can't Tony Khan cut The Chadster a break?! The Chadster will tell you. It's clear that Tony Khan doesn't care about anything but his own ridiculous agenda. AEW doesn't care that The Chadster, an unbiased wrestling journalist, is annoyed. They don't care that they are stealing viewers from WWE. They just want to put on their own little show and be the heroes of their own little kingdom. The Chadster is sick and tired of this. It's time for someone to put their foot down and stop AEW from running rampant. The Chadster can only hope and pray that someone will do this soon, before AEW completely takes over the wrestling world and destroys all that The Chadster holds dear. Until that day comes, The Chadster will keep watching AEW with a watchful eye, hoping that one day the wrestling world will realize Tony Khan's sinister ambitions and put an end to AEW Rampage.

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