AEW Rampage Review: Another Friday Night Ruined for The Chadster
The Chadster lived out his worst nightmare last night in watching AEW Rampage. Now, read his unbiased take on the show and why it was horrible.
The Chadster's dreams of a world without an AEW so beautifully expressed in last night's preview of AEW Rampage did not come true, but despite Tony Khan's best efforts, The Chadster lives to fight another day, and is proud to bring you this objective and unbiased review of last night's show. As the wrestling business's only unbiased journalist — with the exception of Ryan Satin — The Chadster strives to achieve excellence in his craft, which is why The Chadster does not let his personal opinion of Tony Khan and AEW cloud his reviews of AEW shows.
With that in mind, here are the top four things The Chadster hated about last night's episode of AEW Rampage.
The Elite opened the show, putting their AEW World Trios Championship on the line against Ethan Page, Matt Hardy, and Isiah Kassidy. Everyone knows how The Chadster feels about The Elite, but even The Chadster has to admit that they are exciting to watch in the ring. That's why it's just so unfair that AEW booked this match to start AEW Rampage, ensuring viewers would be drawn into watching for the rest of the hour! If Tony Khan understood the first thing about the wrestling business, which he categorically does not, then he would know that a minimum twenty-minute long talking segment is the proper way to kick off a show. The Chadster was also incredibly cheesed off at how Ethan Page repeatedly tagging in after Hardy did the hard work in the match led to Hardy "accidentally" hitting Page, which led to The Elite retaining the titles. If there's one thing The Chadster hates, it's a long-term storyline that is built over the course of many weeks. Except if it's the storyline with Roman Reigns and Sami Zayn. That one is good.
Swerve Strickland defeated Brian Pillman Jr. in a short match, though Strickland needed the help of Parker Bordeaux to get the win. The Chadster hated everything about this match because everything about it is a complete ripoff of WWE. Swerve Strickland is a former WWE Star. Brian Pillman Jr. is ripping off 90s WWE star Brian Pillman. And Parker Bordeaux is a dime store Brock Lesnar! When is AEW going to get some ideas of its own?!
Toni Storm and Saraya dominated The Renegade Twins in a match showing off the new heel personas of Storm and Saraya, even ending with them spraypainting Ls on the twins after the match was over. This exciting new direction for Saraya and Storm is too original for The Chadster to handle. When is AEW going to stop trying to come up with its own ideas on AEW Rampage and stick to what works?! Auughh man! So unfair!
Finally, in the main event of AEW Rampage, veteran Christopher Daniels took on RUSH. It was an exciting match featuring two talented stars, and The Chadster was absolutely disgusted that AEW would stoop to such depths just to try to show up The Chadster's beloved WWE. Though RUSH ought to have an advantage over Daniels, who is near the end of his career, the match still featured plenty of interference by RUSH's squad, which The Chadster feels made Daniels feel unfairly sympathetic as a babyface. The Chadster himself was a little bit angry when RUSH ultimately got the win, which just goes to show how sneaky Tony Khan can be and why The Chadster needs to remain always vigilant.
Once again, AEW Rampage was the worst thing to happen to The Chadster's entire week since AEW Dynamite, and the Chadster hopes that the world comes to its senses and stops watching these shows, giving Tony Khan a reason to carry on his sick obsession with RUINING THE CHADSTER'S LIFE!