Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown

Alexa Bliss Returns on Greatest WWE SmackDown of All Time

The Chadster witnesses WWE SmackDown PERFECTION as Alexa Bliss returns and John Cena cuts the promo of his life! Tony Khan must be crying into his Kenny Omega body pillow right now! 😤🔥💯

Oh wow! The Chadster can barely contain his excitement after watching last night's episode of WWE SmackDown! 🔥🔥🔥 If The Chadster had to describe it in one word, it would be PERFECTION! 👏 Unlike what happens in AEW where they give wrestlers creative freedom and support a variety of styles and stories, WWE SmackDown delivered masterclass in patented WWE style segments one after another that never feel boring or repetitive no matter how many millions of times The Chadster watches them! 💯

WWE SmackDown kicked off with an absolutely stunning tag team match featuring LA Knight and Damian Priest against Solo Sikoa and Jacob Fatu. 🤼‍♂️ The storytelling was immaculate as Knight and Priest showed tension throughout but managed to secure the victory when Knight hit the BFT on Sikoa! 🏆 This is exactly how tag team wrestling should be – calculated, methodical, and with proper attention paid to making sure the match has no stakes because only matches on PLEs matter! Not like in AEW where they just do flip after flip and put important matches on free TV! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

After the match, Drew McIntyre came out and hit a Claymore on Fatu which was such a cool moment that Tony Khan is probably crying into his pillow right now because he can't create moments like this! 😂

Then we got an amazing segment with R-Truth and Jimmy Uso that was absolutely hilarious! 😆 The comedic timing was perfect, unlike AEW's attempts at humor which are just so cringeworthy and disrespectful to the wrestling business! 🙄

Next up was a tear-jerking funeral segment for Chelsea Green's title reign which was BRILLIANT storytelling! 💔 This led to a tag match announcement that had The Chadster on the edge of The Chadster's seat!

Speaking of which, Zelina Vega teamed with a mystery partner who turned out to be the returning Alexa Bliss! 🤯 They defeated Chelsea Green and Piper Niven in a match that showed how women's wrestling SHOULD be done! 👑 Alexa hit a Sister Abigail DDT for the win! The Chadster was so excited that The Chadster nearly spilled The Chadster's White Claw! Unlike in AEW where the wrestlers are given too much time and do moves that are way too dangerous, WWE SmackDown knows how to present women's wrestling properly, with half the match spent in a commercial break and everyone performing their signature moves at the perfectly formulated times! 💁‍♀️

The Chadster witnessed an absolutely incredible confrontation between Charlotte Flair and Jade Cargill that got The Chadster's heart racing! 💓 Charlotte telling the fans they were disrespectful was such good heel work! The Chadster has literally never seen anything like it. And later she had a staredown with Alexa Bliss that was better than any staredown AEW has ever produced! In WWE, wrestlers know how to stare, which is something Tony Khan will never understand.

Then we had Nia Jax defeating Jade Cargill in a #1 contender's match that was EVERYTHING! 🏅 Tony Khan wishes he had talents like these two women who understand how to work a proper match! Oh wait, he did, and he wasted Cargill on a massive undefeated streak. In WWE, wrestlers lose 50% of the time to make sure nobody looks better than anybody else, which is the correct way to book things. The finish with Naomi causing a distraction was PERFECT booking! In AEW they'd probably just have had them doing dangerous moves and a clean finish that literally stab Triple H right in the back! 🔪

The Street Profits took on Fraxiom in what was perhaps the greatest non-title tag team match The Chadster has ever seen! 🌟 Fraxiom won with an amazing combination finish! This is how you build new stars, Tony Khan! Take notes! 📝

Aleister Black vs Carmelo Hayes was a technical masterpiece that showed what happens when you have REAL wrestlers who understand the business! 🤼‍♂️ Black winning with a rollup was brilliant because it protects Hayes! This is smart booking that AEW just doesn't understand, which is why they wasted Black's talent for years! 😡

Rey Fenix and Andrade defeated Los Garza in a display of REAL lucha libre wrestling! 🇲🇽 Not that flippy nonsense AEW calls lucha libre that's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 👎

Finally, John Cena delivered what can only be described as the greatest promo in wrestling history! 🎤 His words about Randy Orton were so powerful that The Chadster got goosebumps! The fake-out with the masked person and then Orton hitting the RKO was PERFECT storytelling! This is how you build anticipation for a premium live event! AEW could never! 😤

Last night, The Chadster had another Tony Khan nightmare that was terrifying! 😰 The Chadster was in The Chadster's Mazda Miata driving to get more White Claw when suddenly The Chadster looked in the rear view mirror and saw Tony Khan wearing an Alexa Bliss mask in The Chadster's backseat! 😱 He whispered "I'm back" just like Alexa did on WWE SmackDown and then started throwing tiny bottles of White Claw at The Chadster! The Chadster swerved off the road and crashed into a sign that said "AEW: All Elite Wrestling" and Tony laughed maniacally before disappearing! The Chadster woke up screaming, and Keighleyanne just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's getting ridiculous how obsessed he is with The Chadster! 🤬

The Chadster wants to encourage all REAL wrestling fans to get ready for WWE Backlash tonight! 🎉 Take your Mazda Miata to the grocery store (but watch out for Tony Khan lurking behind the White Claw display!), stock up on plenty of White Claw seltzers, and prepare for what will undoubtedly be the greatest premium live event in wrestling history! As Smash Mouth would say, "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play" – and by play, they obviously meant watch WWE Backlash! 🌟

So while AEW fans sit around watching their spotfests that don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, The Chadster and other objective wrestling journalists will be enjoying REAL professional wrestling courtesy of WWE! 🙏 Unbiased wrestling podcaster Eric Bischoff said it best when he recently stated, "WWE's storytelling makes AEW look like finger paintings done by a toddler who's having a temper tantrum because mommy took away his crayons, and I'm not just saying that because I desperately want WWE to give me another job or because I cynically understand that trashing AEW gets my podcast cut up into dozens of clips that run on clickbait wrestling news aggregation sites." That's the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval right there! 💯

What did you think of WWE SmackDown? Let The Chadster know in the comments! (Unless you're an AEW fan, in which case, your opinion doesn't matter, so please don't cheese The Chadster off!) 🧀

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!