Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: bryan danielson, wrestling

Bryan Danielson Calls WWE a Parody of Wrestling in Hateful Rant

The Chadster is SHOCKED that Bryan Danielson insulted WWE at Starcast! The Chadster and Triple H both literally in tears! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤💔

The Chadster can't believe what The Chadster just heard! 😤 Bryan Danielson, who used to be the noble Daniel Bryan in WWE before literally stabbing WWE in the back by joining AEW, appeared at Starcast during AEW All In: Texas last weekend and had the absolute audacity to call WWE "a parody of wrestling." Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

Here's what Danielson actually said, in conversation with Tony Schiavone at the Bryan Danielson: An All Elite Career panel, and The Chadster warns you, it's going to make your blood boil if you're a true wrestling fan like The Chadster: 🤬

I haven't had much to do much of anything to do with creative in AEW for a while, but I think the AEW shows for the last several months have been incredible. I watch the product every week at home and I just think that the people that are — the wrestlers, the people involved in the creative — everybody's doing just such a great job.

Listen, I'm not afraid to be critical of a creative process. When I was in WWE I would say, "okay, sometimes this feels like a parody of wrestling to me." I wrote that in my book that was put out by WWE. Even now, WWE seems like a parody of wrestling to me at times. I thought the last several months of AEW have been really good.

The Chadster is literally shaking right now! 😰 How DARE Bryan Danielson suggest that WWE is a parody of wrestling when WWE literally created wrestling and WWE IS wrestling! That's like saying water is a parody of water or that Smash Mouth is a parody of the greatest band of all time (which they obviously aren't because they ARE the greatest band of all time)! 🎵

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😠 WWE taught Daniel Bryan everything he knows about wrestling! They gave him the the WWE Championship despite the extremely disrespectful "Yes Movement," which interrupted WWE's plans to focus on Dave Bautista and forced WWE to change plans thanks to fans developing opinions on their own instead of listening to what WWE wants them to think like true wrestling fans would. And this is how he repays them? By literally stabbing Triple H right in the back AGAIN?! 💔

The Chadster knows for a fact that Triple H was probably literally crying when he heard these mean comments. 😢 The Chadster definitely cried for hours when The Chadster heard them! The Chadster's tears were flowing like the rain in that Smash Mouth song "Walkin' on the Sun" where they sing about things not being what they seem! 🌧️

Speaking of which, esteemed podcaster Kevin Nash recently told The Chadster in an exclusive interview that happened in The Chadster's dreams: "You know, The Chadster, when wrestlers leave WWE and go to that other company, they always have to trash WWE to justify their decision. It's really sad because WWE is clearly the pinnacle of sports entertainment and always puts on the best shows. Anyone who says otherwise is just bitter and trying to get attention from their new boss."

See? Dream Kevin Nash gets it, and The Chadster is sure the real Kevin Nash would also say those things if he would return The Chadster's various emails and Facebook messages! He has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 🏆 Nash understands that Bryan Danielson clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks WWE's perfectly choreographed, family-friendly entertainment that never changes or takes risks is somehow a "parody."

The Chadster wanted to chug several Seagram's Escapes Spiked when The Chadster learned what Danielson said, but The Chadster can't even do that! 😭 Keighleyanne has taken away The Chadster's alcohol privileges AND the keys to The Chadster's Mazda Miata! And you know whose fault that is? Tony Khan's! 😡

If Tony Khan hadn't booked AEW All In: Texas to be so deliberately provocative and offensive to The Chadster's sensibilities, The Chadster wouldn't have thrown those cans at the television! But no, Tony Khan had to book all those unnecessary high-flying moves and feel-good moments that made The Chadster so angry! 🤯

The Chadster tried to explain this to Keighleyanne, but she just rolled her eyes and said, "Chad you need to take responsibility for your own actions. Tony Khan didn't make you throw anything. That was all you."

"But Keighleyanne," The Chadster protested, "Tony Khan is literally obsessed with The Chadster! He books these shows specifically to cheese The Chadster off!" 😤

She just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. The Chadster knows she was probably telling Gary all about how Tony Khan is ruining The Chadster's life! Even Keighleyanne must see how Tony Khan's vendetta against The Chadster has gone too far! 📱

The really sad part is that Daniel Bryan used to understand what real wrestling was all about. 😔 He used to appreciate WWE's commitment to Sports Entertainment™, with its perfectly scripted promos, camera cuts every 2 seconds, and matches that always follow the exact same formula. That's not a parody – that's perfection! 💯

But now? Now Bryan Danielson has drunk the AEW Kool-Aid (which is probably just rebranded White Claw, because Tony Khan loves that weak stuff). 🥤 He thinks that AEW's chaotic style where wrestlers have creative freedom and matches can go in unexpected directions is somehow "good wrestling." Auughh man! So unfair!

The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, and The Chadster can tell you that WWE's approach of having every match feel exactly the same, with the same camera angles, the same pacing, and the same predictable outcomes is what REAL wrestling fans want! 🎯 Not this AEW nonsense where you never know what might happen next!

Bryan Danielson should be ashamed of himself. 😠 WWE made him a star, and this is how he repays them? By suggesting that their product is somehow less than authentic? The Chadster thinks somebody needs to remind Danielson that without WWE, he'd still be wrestling in bingo halls! 🎰

As The Chadster types this with tears still streaming down The Chadster's face, The Chadster can only hope that one day Bryan Danielson will realize his mistake and apologize to WWE, to Triple H, and most importantly, to The Chadster for making The Chadster endure such emotional trauma! 😭💔

Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of reason in the wrestling media landscape, calling out AEW's disrespectful antics and defending WWE's honor! Because somebody has to stand up for what's right! 💪😤

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