In the history of things Tony Khan has done to be unfair to WWE, disrespect the wrestling business, and personally ruin The Chadster's life, this week's episode of AEW Rampage, featuring the debut of CM Punk after a seven-year absence, really took the dang cake. The Chadster isn't a fan of using that kind of language, but sometimes it's called for, and this is one of those times.
The Bottom Line 'Cause Chad Said So – AEW Rampage: The First Dance Review
As many people expected, AEW Rampage opened with Cult of Personality and CM Punk stepping foot in front of a live wrestling crowd for the first time since he left WWE in 2014. The crowd was so loud in response that you could barely even hear the music, showing that AEW fans are as disrespectful as Tony Khan himself. Oh, how The Chadster longs for the days of the empty buildings of the pandemic!
Punk greeted the fans, hugging many in the first row and even crowdsurfing for a bit, before sitting down in the middle of the ring and delivering a promo. Punk fired some shots at WWE, saying he left professional wrestling when he left Ring of Honor to go to WWE. Sure, but you ended up somewhere better: the world of sports entertainment! How ungrateful! He also said that WWE made him sick and stamped out his love of pro wrestling, declared himself one of the fans, and said he's in AEW to stay. He put over Britt Baker and the young talent of AEW, and then he called out Darby Allin, watching from the rafters with Sting, for a match.
Now, don't get The Chadster wrong. The Chadster was a big fan of CM Punk's work in WWE, especially as a commentator on WWE Backstage. And the Chadster admires punk for his straight-edge lifestyle, even if The Chadster himself could never go that long without one his beloved White Claw seltzers. But showing up in AEW on the weekend of SummerSlam, stealing all the attention away from WWE, and cutting a promo that resonated with wrestling fans, including many who gave up watching the sport years ago, was totally disrespectful to WWE and the kind of thing that really cheeses The Chadster off.
Backstage, Impact champion Christian Cage cut a promo on Kenny Omega and then Jurassic Express faced Private Party in the AEW Tag Team Championship eliminator tournament in a high-octane match that was won by Jungle Boy. It's so unfair the way that AEW showcases young talent like Jurassic Express and Private Party immediately after CM Punk's first appearance in wrestling in seven years, with so many eyes watching. It's the kind of thing that might get people who normally only watch WWE, or who don't watch wrestling at all anymore, to give AEW a chance. How dare they? The Chadster is really cheesed off now.
Backstage, Kenny Omega was livid because he thought The First Dance was made for him but Christian Cage ruined it by winning his Impact title last week. Now Kenny Omega knows how The Chadster feels when AEW takes attention away from The Chadster's beloved WWE!
Jade Cargill beat Kiera Hogan in a squash match. The Chadster feels like crushing a Hogan in under a minute is another subtle dig at WWE, who like to bring out their own Hogans and pair them with Titus O'Neil to prevent the crowd booing them too much at WrestleMania. Clearly, Tony Khan understands nothing about the wrestling business.
Finally, in the main event of AEW Rampage, Jon Moxley beat Daniel Garcia in another relatively short match, probably because CM Punk spent too long on that promo early. Maybe if Punk removed some of his insults toward WWE from that promo, it would have left more time for the wrestling. Not that the Chadster would have preferred either one. The Chadster would prefer AEW just admit WWE is the best and stop trying to one-up them, but unfortunately, Tony Khan isn't smart enough to realize that.
The focus of the night was on CM Punk, with the rest of the show built around showing off AEW's young stars in a way The Chadster found hugely disrespectful to WWE, Vince McMahon, and The Chadster himself. Everyone knows that Tony Khan has a personal vendetta against The Chadster and goes out of his way to book a wrestling show designed specifically to cheese The Chadster off every single week, but this whole thing with CM Punk took it way too far. Tony Khan must be stopped before he completely ruins wrestling for everyone.