Halloween is a month a way, which means you're running out of time to pick a costume. Luckily, Bleeding Cool has got your back. Here's five costumes based on our best articles you can use to impress all your friends and enemies this October 31st.
A Dave Bautista Anti-Trump Tweet
In the year 2020, there's no more relevant Halloween costume, if you're basing your costume ideas off Bleeding Cool articles, than a Dave Bautista anti-Trump tweet. Bleeding Cool publishes what, six, seven of them per day? The only question is how exactly one makes a costume out of a tweet. But the thing is, thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, it's not like anyone is going to be trick or treating or going to parties in person. At best, you can do all of these things over Zoom, which means you could do something like use the tweet for your background or replace your video with a live feed of Bautista's anti-Trump tweets, which are sent regularly from his account at incredible volumes.
The Snyder Cut of Justice League
2020 is the year that Snyderbronies won their greatest victory, forcing Warner Bros to agree to release The Snyder Cut on HBO Max next year. Of course, before they could do that, they needed to spend $70 million to make one. But you can make a Snyder Cut Halloween for far less. You can get Ben Affleck to play you in a Batman costume for roughly $35,000,040. That's $35 million for Affleck and $40 for the Batman costume from Walmart. Sure, it's still pricey, but isn't it worth it to show your support for Zack Snyder?
An Unauthorized Sequel to Watchmen
What does an Unauthorized Sequel to Watchmen look like? How about a big paper mache fist clutching a wad of cash. Perhaps an anthropomorphic DC Comics logo dancing on the graves of long-dead comic book creators, celebrating the corporate exploitation of their creativity? Or maybe a Tom King or Damon Lindelof mask? Or just dress up like a worm to symbolize the spineless organisms that claim to revere the comic book creators that paved the way for them but lack any kind of backbone to stand up for their own rights, much less creator's rights as a whole. Whatever your choice, just be sure not to trick or treat at Alan Moore's house.
Sure, a two-dicked Wolverine costume could have worked last year as well, as that was when the theory that Wolverine has two dicks, one for f**king and one for making love, was truly blown wide open. But that was toward the end of the year, which hardly gave anyone time to put together a two-dicked Halloween costume. Plus, a two-dicked Wolverine costume is one of those Halloween fashions that would work any year. It's timeless.
As to what the costume would look like, it's simple. It's just a regular Wolverine costume. It's not like Wolverine is just going to take his dicks out at a human Halloween party. A Krakoan one, sure. Those mutants are freaky. But unless you're regularly attending orgies (and if you are, no judgment), you can just keep the dicks in your pants, bub.
More Dave Bautista Tweets
Let's face it, roughly 50% of the articles on Bleeding Cool are about Dave Bautista's tweets. So we basically had no choice but to include it twice on this list. And I mean that literally. As you know if you've been reading my dozens of weekly Dave Bautista tweet articles, you know that it's not my choice to write them. Bleeding Cool Editor-in-Chief Kaitlyn Booth makes me write them under threat of extreme violence. And when I told her that I was planning to write an article about Halloween costumes, she was about to throw a cup of acid in my face. Thankfully, I was able to convince her not to permanently maim me, but only by promising that I'd really push hard for people to wear Dave Bautista tweet costumes this Halloween. Don't ask me why she wants this to happen. As a matter of fact, don't ask any questions at all. It's best to just do whatever she says.