Impact Wrestling 8/4/2020 Report Part 1: Johnny Swinger's Lucky Day

Impact Wrestling airs tonight, but it's got a lot to live up to. Shane McMahon changed the world yesterday when he brought the exciting new concept of "Raw Underground" to WWE Monday Night Raw last night. Will any other form of pro wrestling be able to compete again. We'll find out tonight, I guess.

Previously on Impact… a bunch of stuff happened. Impact theme song plays. We own the night! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! We own the night. Josh Matthews welcomes to Impact Wrestling on AXS TV as Heath makes his way to the ring. Madison Rayne appreciates Heath's gumption in trying to get a contract, but she doesn't feel he has a strong chance against Moose. Don't worry, Madison. We've seen this exact story play out after the last WWE brand split when Heath didn't get drafted by either brand. He'll get his contract. Moose comes out to the ring. He's wearing Hulk Hogan colors tonight, yellow and red. He's taking this TNA legacy thing a little too seriously. David Penzer does the introductions and this match gets underway.

Johnny Swinger gets the 3-way he asked for... but not like he expected on Impact Wrestling 8/4/2020
Johnny Swinger gets the 3-way he asked for… but not like he expected on Impact Wrestling 8/4/2020

Moose vs. Heath – TNA Championship Match

Heath gets the losing end of a lockup against the more powerful Moose but fights back with some punches and clotheslines Moose out of the ring. Moose hops back up on the apron before Heath can hit a dive, so he punches him back down. They brawl outside the ring, where Moose gains control. But Heath fights back. Heath rolls Moose back in the ring, but his momentum is thwarted when Moose drops him onto the top rope.

Now some plodding offense from Moose as Heath rolls around on the ground. He chokes Heath with his boot and yanks him neck-first into the bottom rope. Heath tries a comeback but eats a Moose dropkick. Moose tries the pin, but Heath kicks out. Josh Matthews sells the stakes of this match: Heath's career is on the line. Come on, Matthews, it's only Impact. Moose hits a pump kick and punches Heath in the face repeatedly. Moose whips him into the corner and Heath is out of it. Moose takes his time and stops to yell in Heath's face. Heath catches a kick and fires up with some punches. He wants to knock the big man down. He tries once. Twice. Moose kicks him in the guy. Heath tries again with a knee, then a kick and Moose goes down. But Heath can only get a two-count.

Moose Irish whips him into the corner but Heath dodges a charge and gets a rollup for two. Heath whips Moose into the corner but the ref is in the way. Heath hits his finisher, the Wakeup Call, but the ref is unable to count. Josh Matthews is losing his mind. Heath could have won this match, dammit! Heath picks Moose up but Moose punches him in the balls. He pins him and grabs the tights for good measure.

Winner: Moose

Well, that's it. Sorry, Heath. Maybe see if AEW is hiring? Decent match by these two.

Josh Matthews promotes Emergence. It sounded like a comic book super-mega-crossover event, but it's actually a two-night special Impact event taking place in two weeks and will feature a Knockouts Championship rematch between Deonna Purrazzo and Jordynne Grace. Tonight, Chris Bey and Rohit Raju take on TJP and Fallah Bahh. There's also more Wrestle House nonsense, a sit-down interview with the Motor City Machine Guns, an Eddie Edwards Impact World Championship open challenge, and an update on Rich Swann's career.

Gia Miller interviews Willie Mack, asking about what Swann's announcement will be. Mack says they're homies, but Swann has been keeping this to himself. Mack calls Eric Young a dirtbag for hurting Swann. Mack says he has worse things to say about him, but he can't say them on TV. Impact goes to commercials.

Video package for EC3. He talks about how he's been punished for the past few years. To find his purpose, he must control his narrative. To find freedom, he must destroy his past. That past is tied up with the TNA Heavyweight Championship. He's coming for Moose. Once he wins it, he'll burn the championship's legacy to the ground.

Impact Wrestling 8/4/2020 Part 1 - Johnny Swinger's Lucky Day (Image: Impact Wrestling)
Impact Wrestling 8/4/2020 Part 1 – Johnny Swinger's Lucky Day (Image: Impact Wrestling)

Jimmy Jacobs is in the ring and he brings out the Impact Tag Team Champions, the Motor City Machine Guns, for an interview. He asks what brought them back to Impact. Alex Shelley says they've put a lot of bodily fluids into pro wrestling. It's been eight years since they teamed in TNA, but now their hard work is paying off. They had to come back to Impact Wrestling to challenge themselves. They went their separate ways after 2012, and they accomplished lots of stuff. He blows some smoke up Chris Sabin's ass. Sabin says when he got back in the ring after his last injury, he called Alex Shelley to help him train. While they were training, they realized they still had their chemistry. They wanted to know if they could compete in today's Impact. Shelley agrees they're wrestling soulmates. Sabin talks up the various tag teams in Impact today. He brings up The North, who claimed they were the best…

The North's music plays and they come to the top of the entranceway. Josh Alexander says Impact didn't give them a special interview the entire year they held the belts. The Motor City Machine Guns are getting special treatment, just like when they got their title shot. The North fought for everything they have. But yes, the Motor City Machine Guns did beat the North… Ethan Page grabs the mic and he's angry as hell. He says The North was at maybe 40% when the Machine Guns beat them. The North took on every challenger during their run. Alexander tells him to relax. The North will get their rematch.

Shelley isn't impressed with the North's speech. The North learned a lesson: one day, they're enot gonna be champions any more. He mocks PAge for raiding Rick Martel's closet and Alexander for being Scott Steiner Jr. He says they can have their rematch right now. Page says they're not ready. Still at 40%. Alexander says they'll get their rematch on their own terms when they're 100%, and they'll take their championships back at Impact Emergence.

Kimber Lee talks to Deonnna Purrazzo backstage. She thinks that if Jordan Grace manhandles her like she did last week, Purrazzo will lose the title. But Lee offers to take out Jordan for Purrazzo if Purrazzo will agree to give her a championship shot. Purrazzo agrees. Didn't she ever see the movie 3 O'Clock High? You can't pay someone to take on your bully. That never works. Impact goes to commercials.

Time for Wrestle House. Ugh. Look, as soon as this becomes Deaner-centric, I'm out. Taya Valkyrie gathers everyone together for a group bonding episode, but her ulterior motive is to get everyone to practice better hygiene and take care of their BO. Johnny Swinger thinks that refers to Bob Orton. John E. Bravo hands out personal hygiene kits to everyone. Kylie Rae wants to know when they can go back to Impact so she can compete for the Knockouts Championship. Rosemary says once she wins the love of Bravo. Alisha Edwards tries to tell Susie how to seduce a Deaner. Johnny Swinger overhears and wants a threesome with both of them. Tommy Dreamer makes a match between the girls and Swinger. Swinger is excited. I'm wondering how much longer they can keep this garbage going. Impact goes to commercials.

Johnny Swinger vs. Alisha Edwards and Susie

More Wrestle House after the break. It's Johhny Swinger vs. Alisha and Susie in the outdoor wrestling ring. Swinger shows off his biceps and asks if the girls want to kiss them. They slam him to the mat instead. They kick him in the gut and whip him into the ropes, but he ducks a double clothesline and puts his arm around them. They hit a double side Russian leg sweep and then wrench his legs apart. Double splash and they get the pin. Swinger is happy anyway because they laid on top of him.

Winner: depends on your perspective, I guess

Kylie Rae introduces herself to John E. Bravo. Bravo tries to blow her off. Kylie tries to talk to him about Rosemary. She says they're not able to leave until Bravo takes the hint. But also, it makes her sad that they're not getting along. Bravo says he can take a hint and walks off.

Thankfully, that's over for now. The Impact Plus Flashback Moment of the Week is Sami Callahan winning the Impact World Championship from Brian Cage. Wasn't that just last year? It's only about 30 seconds long this week.

The Good Brothers are walking to the car in their parking lot. They find their car door open and empty beer cans on the ground. Some cops walk up and find the beers. Ace Austin walks up and eggs the cops on. Doc Gallows throttles him. One of the cops tries to break it up and Gallows accidentally elbows him. Gallows is under arrest. Karl Anderson calls it a setup. Impact goes to commercials.


This post is part of a multi-part series: Impact Wrestling Report for August 4th, 2020.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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