My favorite baking competition is back, with Nailed It dropping a fourth season on Netflix with a first-half filled with Shakespearean "comedy of horrors" and abstract representations of what not to do when baking. The new season is packed with lots of energy and innovation and not the good kind that inspires people but rather the kind that makes you reach out for a puke bucket after hysterically laughing. So bring on the explosions (literally frosting everywhere and bursting flavors out of the mixing bowls) and say hello to host comedian Nicole Byer and co-host Jacques Torres and gear up to honor competitors with the cool gold chef hat for their bettered crime scenes.
Proceed with caution and expect to watch competitors dry humping ovens, breaking blast chillers, and poisoning the judges. Here's how the show works, beginning with a two-round breakdown. "Round 1 (Baker's Choice)" gives contestants 30 to 60 minutes to recreate a small baked sculpture. Whoever isn't afraid of cookie dough or a spoon gets a gold chef's hat and some cooking supplies they will probably never use. "Round 2 (Nail It or Fail It)" finds our competitors tasked with recreating a high-end cake in two hours. Each competitor has a "Panic Button" to seek guidance from one of the judges for a total of three minutes, which still continues to be an underutilized with one contestant (who lost) calling it a "waste of time." The winner, or rather the sole survivor wins $10,000.
Episode 1 Let's Get Lit
- A retired teacher and client liaison aka customer service rep and a board game designer stun the judges by recreating Shakespeare and Moby Dick and what a disgrace.
- Baker's Choice: Shakespearean stained-glass cookies
- A teacher inspired by the classics and one contestant literally bursting at the seams
- With innovation at it's worst, the contestants free handed with the ingredients, and just assumed stained glass is magically created out of nothing in an oven.
- In the end, Romeo looked pretty damn good but was rock hard. Juliette emerged as a drag queen (got granted the win) and Shakespeare himself was made by a toddler off a YouTube how to video.
- Nail It or Fail It: Moby Dick pop up book cake
- Forgotten butter, not enough cake, and what in the world are rice cakes?
- In the end, one Moby Dick died at the hands of a mushroom; there was poop with a stick and some grapes, must be abstract representation; and lastly we had a vicious shark attack (winner)
Episode 2 The One with the 90's Theme
- A software consultant, a WAWA employee and a news anchor take a blast to the past and talk to the hand while inspired by boomboxes and the fly 90's
- Baker's Choice: Boombox ice cream cake
- Some racing goes down in the kitchen and a whole lot of singing
- Apparently to open a fridge, one must break it
- In the end, one retro boombox got left out in the sun for too long or maybe fried in a tanning salon bed; another was a 21st century emoji representations (winner), and then there was the Fendi dog
- Nail It or Fail It: Fly 90's cake, Zack Morris would have been very disappointed
- Alphabet cookies were in play, one contestant I truly think attempted to hump the oven, and how much cake is not enough?
- In the end, the beautiful creations included a ransom letter, a pig holding a note (should probably link up with the ransom letter creator) and a colorful snow man (winner)
- What were they asked to make again?
Episode 3 Indiana Fails and the Temple of Slop
- A retired project manager, a lawyer and an accountant hatch villain babies, and depress the poop out of a sphinx.
- Baker's Choice: Chocolate hatching eggs with buried treasure, that alone is asking for trouble
- Contestants were shocked at having to use chocolate over probably eating it
- What in the world are the diarrhea blobs?
- People seriously, stop eyeballing things, and just use the measuring tools
- In the end, we got an egg shaped casket; a baby frog hatchling who died and is outwardly bleeding over and egg; and an evil blood shot eye chicken (the accountant took the win)
- Nail It or Fail It: Sphinx Cake
- I would have taken off my apron and walked out, maybe talked to Wes for a few
- Loose stool mixtures and cakes all around stuck in their pans
- In the end, a depressed sphinx with an antenna (won); a glutenous sphinx with good flavor; and a unibrow
Episode 4 Chariots of Failure
- A personal trainer, a medical student and a therapist try to impress a gold medalist judge Gabby Douglas with medals nobody would be proud to wear around their necks, and what happens to a swimmer if she jumps in to an empty pool
- Baker's Choice: sport medal cookies
- Contestants take a stand and refuse to read instructions
- And then there is aggressive roller hand jobs
- In the end, some delicious animal cookies got the win (was the challenge, are they ALL donkeys?); large weapon medals, and lastly some over-sized rocks
- Nail It or Fail It: artistic swimming cake
- Flying pans, contestants hyperventilating, and very strange dancing – did she just high five herself?
- Some contestants take a break to make a PB&J sandwich
- In the end, a five-legged mascara wearing swimmer cake takes the win; we also get naked swimmers who may have possibly drowned and a spaghetti fountain with legs.