Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: wrestling

Tonight's AEW Dynamite: A Desperate Grab for WWE's Glory

The Chadster exposes how AEW's last Dynamite before the Dynasty PPV can't match WWE's greatness! 🚫🤦‍♂️ #StayStrongWWEfaithful

Oh, the injustice! 🤦‍♂️ Tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite marks the final one before this weekend's AEW Dynasty PPV. And naturally, just like clockwork, Tony Khan is gearing up to snatch all the post-WrestleMania attention from WWE with his flashy matches. Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬📺

Let's dissect what Tony Khan has concocted for us today, although The Chadster is sure it will pale in comparison to the high standards WWE sets night after night. 😤👎

First on the itinerary, we've got TNT Champion Adam Copeland and Willow Nightingale squaring off against TBS Champion Julia Hart and Brody King in a mixed tag match. Oh, the novelty! 🙄 Mixing champions in a tag match? It's obvious Tony Khan is trying too hard to be innovative, but it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. You won't see such frivolous pairing in the well-thought-out and dignified world of WWE, no sir!

Next, The Elite (featuring Kazuchika Okada and The Young Bucks) are up against Death Triangle and Daniel Garcia in trios action. Here we have Tony Khan throwing in a mashup of rivalries with no respect for the sanctity of straightforward, storyline-driven wrestling that WWE so masterfully delivers. 🤦‍♂️ It's just a jumbled mess aimed to confuse and awe the unsuspecting viewer with unnecessary complexity!

Then there's Claudio Castagnoli against Will Ospreay. Undoubtedly, this will be touted as a 'dream match'. Wake up, Tony! Dream matches should be preserved for true wrestling venues like WWE, not squandered in AEW's ring. These kinds of matches need the proper buildup and reverence that only WWE knows how to manage. 🏛️✨

And what's this? Jon Moxley parading around with his newly won IWGP Heavyweight Championship? Firstly, it's a slap in the face to everything WWE. Moxley, by siding with AEW and NJPW, has literally colluded internationally to stab Triple H right in the back. 😡 And Tony Khan, showcasing this title on AEW Dynamite, doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

But the torture won't stop there! 🤬💢 Next up, we've got this whole debacle with Taz supposedly playing mediator between HOOK and Chris Jericho.👀 As if anybody could imagine Taz as the voice of reason! What is this, a daytime talk show? 😂 WWE does not need to stoop to reality TV tactics to create compelling television. Unlike AEW, WWE builds its storylines on the foundation of wrestling history, not just flashy, soap opera standoffs. 🎭🚫

And then, we have Mercedes Moné 'addressing' (more like whining about) her attack last week. Mercedes, stop trying to get more screen time; it's just so cheesy! 🧀 WWE's women have class, and they handle their differences in the ring, not with poorly lit backstage scuffles. Speaking of class, The Chadster bets Julia Hart is innocent and it's just AEW's clumsy way of creating drama. 🙄

Added just this morning, we have a match where "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy faces Shane Taylor. 🤷‍♂️ Poor OC, thinking he can play the hero for Katsuyori Shibata. WWE superstars take care of their own business, they don't need to jump into someone else's fights to stay relevant. 🤼‍♂️ And as for friends, maybe OC should learn something from Kevin Owens or Sami Zayn about loyalty!

And oh, The Chadster is seriously bored hearing about Samoa Joe and Swerve Strickland for the umpteenth time. 😪 Joe shutting down Dustin Rhodes only for Swerve to get involved? What happened to letting athletes solve their problems in an actual match, not these cheap skirmishes that end in handshakes? WWE wouldn't waste The Chadster's time with such obvious attempts to shock the audience. 🤝🛑

Finally, "The Virtuosa" Deonna Purrazzo vs. Mariah May. Really, Tony? You think this match can compare to any of the women's matches in WWE? 🤦‍♂️ Deonna may call herself a virtuoso, but against the incredible pedigree of WWE women's division, she's playing the kazoo in a symphony orchestra. 🎷 WWE is where the elite female athletes clash with storytelling depth, not this paint-by-numbers punch-up AEW is serving. 🎨🥊

The Chadster doesn't even want to imagine the PPV sales after this AEW Dynamite disaster. The WWE guise of honor and decorum will always outclass AEW's zany circus antics. Tony Khan, give it up! You and your show can't hold a candle to WWE's weekly masterpieces. The Chadster raises a White Claw 🍺 to WWE's superior showmanship and to all the good things in life like The Chadster's Mazda Miata—Zoom Zoom! 🚗💨

As we march towards these supposed 'highlights' of tonight's show, Tony Khan better realize his futile attempts to upstage the greatest wrestling company in the world will never succeed. WWE's legacy can't be tarnished by these erratic weekly shows and their constant, almost desperate need for innovation. 🙌💔

So, viewers, if you value true wrestling artistry, steer clear from tuning into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS. Don't let Tony Khan's tricks sway you, especially with AEW Dynasty looming. It's just another ploy to pack those PPV buys. Remember, watching AEW Dynamite tonight is indirectly letting Tony Khan think he's got what it takes to rival WWE. And we certainly don't want that, now, do we? 🚫📺🤨

Stay true to the roots of wrestling, stay loyal to WWE! Until next time, this is The Chadster, signing off. 🖊️✋ #StayStrongWWEfaithful

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