WrestleMania: Cena vs. Theory Steals the Show! AEW Can't Compare!
The Chadster reviews the John Cena vs. Austin Theory match at WrestleMania, a true classic that shows AEW how it's done! 🤼♂️✨
The Chadster wants to thank you, loyal readers, for choosing Bleeding Cool's WrestleMania coverage over those biased, pro-AEW websites. Just knowing that some wrestling fans prefer AEW over WWE is ruining The Chadster's weekend, and Tony Khan is probably delighted. 😠 But The Chadster must focus because this is the greatest day in the history of the wrestling business!
Before the epic Cena vs. Theory showdown, WrestleMania Goes Hollywood kicked off with a beautiful rendition of America the Beautiful by Becky G. While The Chadster would have preferred a performance by the greatest band of all time, Smashmouth, she did an acceptable job. The event was hosted by none other than Kevin Hart, and The Chadster loves when celebrities participate in WWE because it makes Vince McMahon happy. The Miz and Snoop Dogg were also present as the hosts of WrestleMania Goes Hollywood. The Chadster is something of a rapper himself, and here's a quick freestyle verse about how WWE is better than AEW: "WWE's the best, forget the rest, AEW's just a mess, The Chadster knows what's best!" 🎤💥
During the match, Austin Theory and John Cena put on a wrestling clinic, showcasing their incredible abilities and commitment to the art of sports entertainment. Cena had the match won at one point, making Theory tap to the STF, but unfortunately, the referee was knocked out and didn't see it. Seizing the opportunity, Theory resorted to a dastardly Low Blow, followed by his devastating A-Town Down finisher. With the referee miraculously recovering, Theory pinned Cena for the victory, solidifying his status as a future WWE superstar. The Chadster believes that with performances like this, Austin Theory could very well be the next Baron Corbin (another of The Chadster's favorite wrestlers! 😱🌟
The opening match of WrestleMania Saturday, John Cena vs. Austin Theory, was nothing short of spectacular. The Chadster was honored to witness a true classic, proving once again that WWE is superior to AEW in every way. Cena's entrance, combined with Theory's cunning tactics, created a match that will go down in history as the greatest of all time. 🤼♂️✨
But despite all of this, AEW just won't go away. It's so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster blames Tony Khan and his sick obsession with trying to cheese The Chadster off. Please, Tony, just leave The Chadster alone! 😩
Remember to check back later for more WrestleMania Saturday coverage, and come back tomorrow for WrestleMania Sunday! And as always, stay tuned for The Chadster's unbiased reporting on all things wrestling, especially when it comes to proving how WWE is better than AEW. 😤✊🏼💯
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