Hulkamania may have been running wild in the 1980s and 1990s, but in 2020, it's all about the Punkbronies, the colloquial term for hardcore fans of disgraced MMA fighter CM Punk. That's right, as you've probably just noticed and audibly groaned about, my delightful colleague Chad is out sick today (a voice in my headset is telling me to let you know he has anal bleeding), and so your pal Jude Terror is picking up the slack on Chad's usual wrestling ratings beat. And in the spirit of honoring the great work Chad has been doing, I am absolutely overjoyed to report that CM Punk's return to WWE Backstage not only brought the show back into the top 150 Tuesday cable shows for the first time in weeks, but even caused it to draw a higher rating than FS1's replay of WrestleMania 3.
The heavily-promoted replay of the record-breaking 1987 wrestling show headlined by Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant failed to beat an episode of WWE's televised zoom conference featuring CM Punk reviewing an ice cream bar. WrestleMania 3 came in at 133rd place in the ratings charts with a .04 rating in the adults 18-49 demographic and 157,000 viewers, according to Showbuzz Daily. WWE Backstage, headlined by a CM Punk appearance, on the other hand, came in in the 113th spot with a .05 rating and 173,000 viewers. You do the math.
Hogan was at one time metaphorically the biggest wrestler in the entire world, and Andre was at one time literally the biggest wrestler. WrestleMania 3 also featured a highly respected (and highly rehearsed) bout between Randy Macho Man Savage and Ricky the Dragon Steamboat, as well as matches featuring Rowdy Roddy Piper, the British Bulldogs, the Hart Foundation, the Junkyard Dog, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Harley Race, Jake the Snake Roberts, King Kong Bundy, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules, and more. Additionally, celebrities such as Bob Uecker, Aretha Franklin, and Alice Cooper played roles in the show. But none of that mattered when it came to seeing Phil Brooks review a frozen dairy treat (which he rated a 4 out of 10, by the way).
So there's no doubt who the biggest wrestler in the world is right now, is there? That's right, CM Punk. Well, at least for Tuesdays. Now it's time for Punk to finally start training so he can make his return to the ring and face the biggest star of Monday nights, Becky Lynch's unborn child. We'll keep you posted on that soon-to-be-announced match.