WWE Raw Report – Drew McIntyre Parties Like it's 2009

With Clash of Champions in the record books, it's time for WWE to take stock of the past, look forward to the future, and… give us a bunch of rematches from the PPV last night and the previous several months of Raw. Welcome to Bleeding Cool's weekly Raw report. We watch it, so you don't have to! You're freaking welcome!

The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.
The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.

WWE Raw Report for September 28, 2020 Part 1

The Big Show comes out. And Christian. And Ric Flair. And Shawn Michaels. Did WWE just decide to reboot to 2008? Oh, thank god! No, wait, they're here because they interfered in the match last night. Side note: HBK's entrance finally looks correct again with the pyro. Just keep the hat on, and if I squint, I can pretend it's still 1998.

Ol' HBK welcomes us to Monday Night Raw and introduces the man who defeated Randy Orton last night at Clash of Champions, WWE Champion Drew McIntyre. McIntyre comes out and hugs everyone. HBK sells the hug the best.

Drew has the mic. He talks about growing up with Big Show and Christian, traveling the world, and learning about the business. When things got tough, the Big Show was there for him like a big brother. Shawn Michaels was a mentor to him in NXT. Drew tells a story about when he first came to America, and Ric was still on the active roster, and Drew was briefly on the roster with Ric Flair. Yeah, it wasn't much of a story.

Drew talks about beating Randy Orton at Clash of Champions last night. They went to war, but in the end, he put Orton's ass in an ambulance and stands here WWE Champion. HBK says they came out here to thank Drew for whipping Randy Orton's ass. As they were all off recovering, they got together and decided to show up last night as a surprise to even the odds and get revenge against Orton. They hope Drew doesn't mind, but if he is upset, HBK says it was Flair's fault.

Drew starts talking again bit Orton appears on the Titantron. He hopes Drew is enjoying this moment because it won't last. It won't be over until he says it's over. Does Drew think he went through hell with Orton? He has no idea what hell is. But he will. Orton won't be done until he's WWE Champion.

Drew asks him if he's gonna beg for another match. Orton says he doesn't have to. He'll be given a match because he's Randy Orton, a thirteen-time champion. The only reason he's here today is to remind Drew and everyone in the ring there's a price when you cross the Legend Killer. Randy leaves the building.

Drew says that's a shame, but speaking of titles, being in the ring with four other champions, he's inspired to put his title on the line tonight. He issues an open challenge. Sweet Chin Music? Unfortunately, no. He sends the legend to their private box. I guess we'll find out who he's fighting later.

Kayla Braxton talks to Zelina Vega backstage. Zelina says everyone is gonna feel sorry for Asuka when she gets in the ring tonight and proves Asuka isn't ready for him. Oh, are we doing this again? A rematch of something we just saw at the PPV last night? Asuka comes out and shouts at Zelina. Officials get in the middle. Raw goes to commercials.

Zelina and Asuka come down to the ring, and we have ourselves a match we just saw less than 24 hours ago,

Asuka vs. Zelina Vega – WWE Raw Women's Championship Match

  • Just read last night's recap.
  • Zelina wins! Oh my god, there's a new Raw Women's Champion! Anything really can happen on Monday Night Raw!
  • Just kidding, Asuka wins, and Raw goes to commercials.

Andrade is in the ring after the break. He tells Zelina she's nothing without him. She blamed him for everything, but look at her. Asuka beat her twice. Zelina was the weak link. That's why Angel Garza got hurt last night too. Andrade was holding this team together. He's the greatest ni WWE. Who wants to face him?

Keith Lee's music plays, and I'm immediately reminded of the fact that it exists instead of his old NXT music that was far superior. Now I'm in a bad mood. Thanks, Keith Lee.

Andrade vs. Keith Lee

  • Andrade is like a gnat harassing Keith Lee with puny attacks and prolonging the inevitable murder.
  • Lee wins with the Spirit Bomb.

That god damn music plays again. In a video filmed earlier today, some herb tries to sit at the table with MVP and Shelton Benjamin in catering. Bobby Lashley walks up and tells him he's sitting in Lashley's seat. He moves over closer to MVP. Lashley tells him again, and this tie he gets it. Lashley makes him leave his food. Hurt Business divvies up the food. Raw goes to commercials.

Because it was so funny the first time, we see a replay of last Monday's 24/7 Championship segment that ended with Akira Tozawa being eaten by a shark. Truth is backstage playing chess with Little Jimmy. A ninja shows up and hands Truth an envelope. He reads it.

R-Truth,

If you are reading this, I was eaten by a shark. Our battles were epic. It would even make my sensei, Kung Funaki proud. At heart, I was a ronin until I met you. Wear this with honor.

Regards,
Akira

The ninja opens a briefcase, and inside is Tozawa's black belt. Truth laments Tozawa being eaten by a shark. Tozawa comes out from under a table and pins Truth for the belt. Then the ninja pins Tozawa and rips off his mark, revealing Drew Gulak. Truth puns Gulak. Excellent use of TV time.

Speaking of excellent uses of TV time, Tom Phillips introduces a replay of last week's Maury Povich pastiche starring Seth Rollins and the Mysterio family. LOL. "She's just nineteen years old. She's naive and knows nothing about our world." Line excellently delivered, Rey. Good job. Very believable.

Rollins hugs Murphy backstage. Murphy looks upset. Rollins asks him what's wrong. It's Monday Night Raw, the night after Night of Champions, and the Mysterio family is on the King's Court today. Seth can't wait to see what they say. It's a big night for Seth and a big night for Murphy. Seth asks why Murphy is dressed in his ring gear. He doesn't have a match tonight. He tells Murphy to put on the suit he bought him. Murphy walks off, but he leaves his phone there. Seth steals the phone. Raw goes to commercials.

Will Seth Rollins text dick pics to Murphy's contacts? Find out in part two of Bleeding Cool's Raw report.


This post is part of a multi-part series: WWE Raw Report for September 28, 2020.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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