Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Review: The Road to Elimination Chamber Begins

El Presidente reviews WWE SmackDown! Chamber qualifiers, tag title defense, and Drew McIntyre's ego runs wild. Plus, Oba Femi destroys another victim!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury skybox at the Spectrum Center in Charlotte, North Carolina, where I have just witnessed the glorious spectacle that was last night's WWE SmackDown! And let me tell you, comrades, this episode of SmackDown had more twists and turns than the time I had to escape from a CIA black site using only a rubber chicken and my natural charisma.

SmackDown opened with the kind of chaos that warms your El Presidente's heart! Cody Rhodes attacked Drew McIntyre before the Scottish warrior could even make it to the ring, and comrades, the intensity was palpable.

Rhodes cut a passionate promo about how WrestleMania has always meant everything to him, reminding us that he was born right there in Charlotte with pizza boxes everywhere and legends fighting in the hospital waiting room. This is the kind of origin story that makes El Presidente weep! It reminds me of when I was born during a military coup, except there were empanadas instead of pizza boxes. Rhodes declared that McIntyre would not be champion all the way to WrestleMania, and the fire in his eyes told me this man means business. Nick Aldis had to threaten Rhodes to calm him down, warning him that he'd be pulled from his Elimination Chamber qualifying match next week if he didn't behave. Ah, comrades, nothing says "authority figure" like threatening to take away someone's opportunity to be locked in a steel cage with five other people who want to destroy them!

The WWE Women's Tag Team Titles were on the line next, with Rhea Ripley and Iyo Sky defending against Giulia and Kiana James. This match on SmackDown was everything your El Presidente hoped it would be, comrades! The action was fast and furious, and both teams showed tremendous chemistry. James and Giulia put up a valiant fight, but in the end, the champions retained after Ripley hit the Riptide and Sky followed up with the Over The Moonsault. The champions celebrated, but I could see in their eyes that they know the real challenge awaits them at the Elimination Chamber. This reminds me of the time I defended my presidential palace against three separate rebel factions in one weekend. By Sunday evening, I was so exhausted I fell asleep during my own victory parade, but I kept my palace, just as RHIYO kept their titles!

Carmelo Hayes continued his United States Title Open Challenge series on SmackDown, facing The Miz in non-title action. Now, comrades, your El Presidente was concerned when Miz jumped Hayes at the opening bell and started mocking his signature basketball pose. I have seen this strategy before – it was employed against me by the CIA when they sent an operative to mock my collection of vintage telenovela DVDs. But just like I overcame that psychological warfare by having the operative deported, Hayes overcame Miz's tactics and won with the First 48. Ilja Dragunov was watching from backstage, and I suspect we will see him challenge for that title very soon. The intrigue! The drama! It's almost as exciting as the time Muammar Gaddafi and I competed for the same parking spot at the United Nations!

The first women's Elimination Chamber qualifying match on SmackDown featured Tiffany Stratton, Lash Legend, and Chelsea Green, and comrades, this was a battle of egos! All three women believe they are destined for greatness, which I respect immensely. Stratton emerged victorious after hitting the Prettiest Moonsault Ever on Green, earning her spot in the Chamber. Green continues to be the kind of competitor who loses matches but never loses her confidence – a quality I admire greatly. It reminds me of my Minister of Tourism, who has presided over a 47% decline in visitors but still insists he's doing an excellent job!

Kit Wilson made an appearance on SmackDown to complain about toxic masculinity, and comrades, I must admit I was confused by his strategy. Insulting the masculinity of professional wrestlers seems like the kind of plan that would be devised by the CIA after they've had too many drinks at their holiday party. Predictably, Oba Femi answered the challenge and destroyed Wilson in under a minute with the Fall From Grace. Femi is a force of nature, comrades, and I predict great things for him. He has the kind of intimidating presence that I have worked years to cultivate, and he does it naturally!

Shinsuke Nakamura faced Tama Tonga in a hard-hitting affair on SmackDown, with Tonga Loa interfering at the end to help his brother secure the victory with the Cutthroat. Nakamura fought valiantly, but numbers won the day. This is a lesson I learned long ago, comrades – always bring backup. It's why I travel with a security detail of at least seventeen people, even when I'm just going to the grocery store. You never know when the CIA might try to attack you in the produce section!

Later on SmackDown, Liv Morgan appeared with Raquel Rodriguez to discuss her Royal Rumble victory and her championship options. Morgan put herself over as the greatest woman in WWE history, which is exactly the kind of confidence that gets you elected president for life! Jade Cargill interrupted to challenge her, followed by Jordynne Grace, and Aldis made a tag team match for later in the show.

The match saw Grace and Cargill work together uneasily, with Grace eventually stealing a pin on Rodriguez after some miscommunication between the partners. Aldis then announced that Cargill will defend her title against Grace next week on SmackDown, which should be absolutely spectacular!

Drew McIntyre returned to SmackDown for a third segment, climbing onto the announce table to deliver a scathing promo. He called out both Rhodes and Jacob Fatu for attacking him, demanded they be banned from their qualifying matches, and then addressed the Roman Reigns vs. CM Punk situation from Raw. Comrades, this level of ego is something I can truly appreciate! It reminds me of the time I declared myself "Supreme Leader of Leaders" at the International Dictators' Conference, which did not go over well with the other attendees, but I stood by my statement! Trick Williams came out to say he'd be watching the main event and planning to take the title from McIntyre at WrestleMania, which is the kind of bold declaration that either makes you a legend or gets you destroyed. Time will tell!

The main event of SmackDown was the men's Elimination Chamber qualifying triple threat match featuring Randy Orton, Solo Sikoa, and Aleister Black. These three warriors threw everything at each other, with Orton hitting his signature moves, Sikoa dominating with his power, and Black bringing his dark, methodical style. In the end, Orton hit the RKO on Sikoa to secure his spot in the Elimination Chamber. There was no interference from the Wyatt Sicks, despite Uncle Howdy vowing earlier to regain his lantern prop from Sikoa. Perhaps they are planning something more sinister for next week's SmackDown! This reminds me of the time I waited three months to get revenge on the Venezuelan ambassador who ate the last piece of cake at my birthday party. Patience, comrades, is a virtue!

Overall, comrades, last night's SmackDown was a tremendous success! We had championship matches, qualifying bouts, dramatic confrontations, and the continued build toward WrestleMania. Next week's SmackDown promises even more qualifying matches, plus the showdown between Cargill and Grace for the title. Your El Presidente will be watching with great anticipation!

Remember, comrades: the revolution may not be televised, but WWE SmackDown certainly is, and it's far more entertaining than any propaganda film I've ever commissioned!

Until next time, viva la SmackDown!

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