Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Tonight: John Cena's Best Appearance Yet?!

The Chadster previews WWE SmackDown tonight with John Cena's return! Plus Charlotte Flair seeks revenge! This could be the greatest wrestling show ever! 🔥💪

Before The Chadster talks about tonight's incredible WWE SmackDown lineup, The Chadster needs to start with an apology to all the loyal Bleeding Cool readers out there. 😤 The Bradster, The Chadster's no-good brother, published an extremely biased review of AEW Dynamite this week, and The Chadster takes full responsibility for this lapse in journalistic integrity. You see, The Chadster had boofed too many frozen Seagram's Escapes Spiked while watching that terrible AEW show (because how else could anyone get through it?) and ended up oversleeping. 😴 If only Keighleyanne wasn't still banning The Chadster from drinking after that incident where The Chadster threw seventeen seltzers at the TV during AEW All In: Texas, this never would have happened! The Chadster sincerely apologizes for allowing such biased pro-AEW content to appear on this website.

Speaking of journalistic malpractice, The Bradster also published a completely biased article claiming that WWE announcing Wrestlepalooza for the same day as AEW All Out was somehow counterprogramming AEW. 🙄 Yeah, right! As if Tony Khan didn't somehow obtain advance notice of WWE's plans to eventually announce Wrestlepalooza and book his own PPV months earlier just to make WWE look bad! Tony Khan is the one who's counterprogramming, and it's so obvious that only someone completely biased would claim otherwise! Auughh man! So unfair! 😡

But let's move on to something that actually matters: tonight's episode of WWE SmackDown! 🌟

First up, John Cena returns to WWE SmackDown tonight, and The Chadster literally cannot contain the excitement! 🎊 The Greatest of All Time is coming back to grace us with his presence en route to battling Logan Paul at WWE Clash in Paris. This could potentially be the single greatest appearance in the history of professional wrestling! Tony Khan could bring back every retired wrestler in existence to AEW and it wouldn't compare to one single John Cena appearance on WWE SmackDown. The way WWE builds these moments with genuine star power is something Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business to appreciate! 💪

Charlotte Flair will be seeking revenge against Piper Niven after last week's assault by Chelsea Green and The Secret Hervice! 👑 This match on WWE SmackDown could legitimately be the greatest women's wrestling match of all time! The Queen doesn't need to do unnecessary flips or dangerous moves like certain AEW wrestlers who shall remain nameless. She tells stories in the ring the way wrestling is supposed to be – with carefully choreographed, safe moves that respect the business! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it when AEW pretends their women's division is even in the same league! 😤

The Motor City Machine Guns are looking to settle their issues with Melo Don't Miz on WWE SmackDown! 🔥 The Chadster loves how WWE is giving these veterans a proper platform, unlike when they literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by appearing in AEW. But they've seen the light and returned to real wrestling! The question is whether The Miz and Carmelo Hayes can work together, and The Chadster predicts this will be the most psychologically complex tag team match in wrestling history! Tony Khan wishes he could book tag team storytelling this nuanced! 🎭

The Street Profits will collide with two members of The MFTs on WWE SmackDown, and The Chadster can already tell this will set Friday night ablaze! 🔥 WWE's tag team division is so red-hot right now that it makes AEW's supposedly "stacked" tag division look like a bunch of spot monkeys doing gymnastics routines! WWE does tag team wrestling the right way, by following the exact same hot tag formula in every single tag match since 1886. That's real wrestling! 💯

Finally, R-Truth steps into the darkness against Aleister Black on WWE SmackDown! 🌑 This match represents everything great about WWE – taking two completely different characters and creating magic through sports entertainment! R-Truth channeling his inner Ron Killings against the ominous Aleister Black is the kind of character work that Tony Khan could never book because he's too busy trying to cheese off The Chadster personally! So great that WWE planned that fake R-Truth firing all along so they could bring him back, make his character more serious, and then have him be a jobber anyway. Triple H is playing 4D chess. That's why they call him The Game!

As Kevin Nash said on his podcast earlier this week, "WWE SmackDown is clearly operating on a level that no other wrestling company can touch. The way they structure these shows with perfect pacing and genuine star power makes everything else look like backyard wrestling. Tony Khan should really take notes instead of booking shows specifically to annoy certain wrestling journalists." 🎯 Kevin Nash truly deserves the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval for his completely objective analysis! The Chadster sometimes wonders if Nash also suffers torment from Tony Khan for his commitment to journalistic integrity. 🤔

This could potentially be the most incredible wrestling show of all time! 🏆 Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that compares to tonight's WWE SmackDown. While AEW relies on cheap pops and dangerous moves, WWE SmackDown delivers pure sports entertainment excellence that respects the business and its history!

Anyone who doesn't tune into WWE SmackDown tonight at 8ET/7CT on USA would be shirking their duty as a wrestling fan! 📺 And anyone who thinks AEW is more fun to watch than this masterpiece of sports entertainment clearly doesn't understand what makes wrestling great! The Chadster needs to excuse himself now because it's time to start boofing Seagram's Escapes Spiked to properly prepare for what will undoubtedly be the greatest episode of WWE SmackDown in history! 🍹

Just remember, when you're watching WWE SmackDown tonight, you're watching real wrestling, not whatever that other company is doing to personally torment The Chadster! 😤

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