As Usual, Wolverine Ruins Everything in Marauders #15 [XH]

I'm Jude Terror, and this is X-ual Healing, Bleeding Cool's weekly X-Men recap column, where I read all the X-books, so you don't have to. And it's probably for the best. With the current crossover and weekly saturation of these things, a person could go broke trying to follow all these comics. In stores last week from Marvel: Marauders #15, Excalibur #14, and Wolverine #7, all part of the X of Swords crossover.

There were some interesting developments in the comics world last week. DC Comics laid off even more people as it seems like they've got a real skeleton crew running things over there. Rich Johnston claims DC is abandoning the direct market and will focus on a more mainstream audience, which makes all the sense in the world. Still, of course, comic book retailers (and fans) are a cowardly and superstitious lot, so a lot of them view this as a huge betrayal. The fact is that the industry has been propping up the direct market system for years. The direct market is like Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's. Comic book publishers are like Larry and Richard, pretending the system is still working great so they can continue to squeeze higher profit growth out of a shrinking audience even though it's obviously been rotting for decades with no real feeder system to bring new customers into the specialty shop market. Except with comics, it's like Weekend at Bernies 17. The premise has grown really old and tired, the corpse is basically a skeleton at this point, and corporate exploitation has already sucked every molecule of meat off the franchise's bones.

But on the bright side, Marvel announced a new X-Men Legends series that will have stories by Chris Claremont, Louise Simonson, and more set during their classic runs. Yay! So it all evens out in the end.

Finally, we had some inter-company drama as Tom Brevoort attacked Tom King over the DC firing of Mark Doyle, a conflict where we can all truly say both sides deserve to lose. I wrote it up in a Fanboy Rampage article, but sometime after that, the killing blow came from the Comics Journal's Twitter:

Get it? Because Tom King was in the CIA? Okay, moving on…

Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities. Still, thanks to a corporate merger, a line-wide relaunch, and Jonathan Hickman's giant ego, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics for lovers of soap opera drama.

As Usual, Wolverine Ruins Everything in Marauders #15 [XH]

The cover to Marauders #15
The cover to Marauders #15

(W) Gerry Duggan, Ben Percy (A) Stefano Caselli (CA) Russell Dauterman
A toast. A dance. A dinner served: Part II
Rated T+
In Shops: Nov 11, 2020
SRP: $3.99

Marauders #15 Recap

Remember how I've been complaining that X of Swords has been moving super slowly? Well, apparently, Marvel was listening because Marauders #15 begins with a prose page describing the events that occurred after Wolverine stabbed Saturnyne at the end of the previous part of this crossover. Apparently, with Saturnyne dead, war broke out. Krakoa was defeated, and tens of thousands of mutants slaughtered. The X-Men called in The Avengers, the Fantastic Four, and the Hosts of Asgard, and they all lost. Apocalypse was decapitated, drawn, and quartered. And only Wolverine was alive to watch it all happen.

But it's just a bad dream. Saturnyne reveals she was just giving Logan a glimpse of the future. Back at the dinner party, she tells him to sit the hell down, and he does. Cypher eats Wolverine's sushi, and it turns out it's poisoned (we saw War poison it in the last issue). Doug is dying, but Isca the Unbeaten, stabs him in the neck to open an airway. Everyone is upset, including many of the Arakki. The White Sword uses his resurrection powers to completely heal Doug.

Brian Braddock asks Saturnyne to declare the X-Men winners by disqualification since the Arakki tried to murder Cypher. However, she points out that Wolverine tried to murder her, so both violated the rules. The next course of dinner is served, stuffed scarab, which offends Death, who removes his helmet to show the waiter something. Maybe he's part beetle? After that, they serve unicorn, which Wolverine really enjoys.

Cable and Magik goad Isca the Unbeaten into playing some party games to see if it's true she never loses. She wins each one. Finally, the dinner comes to an end, with Saturnyne revealing the first match: Captain Britain vs. Isca the Unbeaten.

So finally, fifteen issues into this 22-part crossover, we're finally gonna see our first match? I would say this crossover is finally about to get serious, but… spoiler alert… I'm writing this after having read all three issues for the week, and let's just say serious is not a good word to describe what this crossover gets. With that in mind, I'm going to save my commentary for the end of the last recap this week, so we'll touch base again after Wolverine #7. But I will say of this particular issue that it's good to see Wolverine's poor decision-making blow up in his face for once.

Read more X-ual Healing here:

As Usual, Wolverine Ruins Everything in Marauders #15 [XH]

This post is part of a multi-part series: X-ual Healing X-Men Recaps for the week of November 11th, 2020.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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