There's no real way to tiptoe around the truth here: this issue is stupid. Everybody involved is all skilled craftspeople who have made impressive comics work before … but this? Thor #12 is a mess, with issues of internal logic that ring false as well as visually muddy sequences that are supposed to be combat, but just look like implications.
First of all, let's look at the meat of the matter: for most of this issue, Donald Blake fights Throg, the Frog of Thunder, and his pal from the Inhumans, the teleporting giant dog Lockjaw. Why? Well, he wants revenge on everyone touched by Odin's power to bear the mantle of Thor for leaving him trapped in a bad 1950s sitcom for years, even if they literally had nothing to do with it. Pretty typical privileged behavior, honestly, lashing out and blaming others when the source of the issue is not available. That's … well, here's the thing.
An issue or two back, Donald Blake — wielding all the power of the Midgaard Serpent (who he sucker-punched and siphoned like a gas tank) Thor and all the power of Odin (which Thor received from Odin, and Blake yoinked it all) — fought literally everybody in Asgard and killed most of them in less time than it took to complete an issue. Sif. Warriors Three. Balder. Everybody. Murked in, like, a few pages. That's on the record.
So, now, for ten consecutive pages, Donny Cates' script has Odin/Thor-powered Blake (just go with it) fighting Throgand Lockjaw. The entire forces of Asgard couldn't keep him busy for half an issue, but those two do. Considering the transitive property, either that means Throg and Lockjaw are bananas powerful, or the amassed might of Asgard is drastically less impressive than their marketing would have us believe. Ten pages. Wow.
Let's talk about the fight for a second. Lockjaw is clutch here as Blake uses the power of the Rainbow Bridge (which he repossessed from Sif, the replacement for Heimdall) to reenact the fight scene from Jumper … sort of. The artistic choice of montage-ing the fight and using close-ups on the bridge and Lockjaw's little tuning fork on his head take the fight from Giza, Egypt to what's probably the Savage Land to some desolate world … it's a mess, y'all. It's hard to tell if the choice for that came from Nic Klein, Matt Wilson, and Joe Sabino's script.
This is madness. The whole underlying storyline of Thor's limping alter ego leveling up so far was pretty ridiculous, but this is drifting into Ambush Bug levels of incredulity. Frogjolnir. Wow. RATING: NO. JUST … NO.
By Donny Cates. Nic Klein
DOCTORS FOSTER & BLAKE, READY YOUR SCALPELS! Once upon a time, Jane Foster and Donald Blake were more than friends. With Blake at her side, Jane could've shared the very throne of Asgard. Now they are about to become the bitterest of enemies. And if Valkyrie falls, she'll have lost more than a crown. All of the Ten Realms are at stake – not to mention the life of All-Father Thor!
Throg versus Donald Blake, smashing through the ten realms and ... well, honestly, no, that doesn't make a lick of doggone sense, and it's downhill from here.
Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!