Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: Unfairly Promoting Tomorrow's Revolution PPV

The Chadster is CHEESED OFF about tonight's AEW Collision and how Tony Khan is disrespecting the wrestling business with proper PPV build! So unfair! 😡📺💔

The Chadster is absolutely beside himself right now, because tonight's AEW Collision is just another example of how Tony Khan is trying to destroy everything good about professional wrestling. 😡 💔 🤬 The Chadster doesn't even want to write this preview, but as one of the only truly unbiased journalists in wrestling media, The Chadster has a responsibility to warn the world about what Tony Khan has planned for tonight's AEW Collision.

First of all, AEW Collision is featuring a TNT Championship match between Daniel Garcia and Lee Moriarty. 🏆 👎 😤 This match is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster knows that Triple H would never book a championship match on free TV like this! That's what premium live events are for! And both of these wrestlers do all these technical moves and submission holds that are going to make casual fans change the channel. In WWE, championship matches follow a proper formula, but Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

As Bully Ray so eloquently said on Busted Open Radio this week, "AEW's biggest problem is that they give away PPV-quality matches on TV, which makes their actual PPVs feel less special. WWE knows how to tease viewers with DQ finishes and count-outs to build anticipation. It's Wrestling Promotion 101." See? Even Bully Ray, who has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval, agrees with The Chadster! 📝 🎙️ 💯

Then we have Cope, the so-called "Rated R Superstar," cutting a promo before his match with Jon Moxley. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Everyone knows that Cope literally stabbed Triple H right in the back when he joined AEW. 🔪 And now Tony Khan is having him cut a promo to promote a PPV match? The Chadster can't believe how Tony Khan thinks "long-term storytelling" is better than having wrestlers randomly face each other six times before their PPV match. It's just not how wrestling is supposed to be done!

AEW Collision is also featuring Momo Watanabe vs. Serena Deeb with Mercedes Moné on commentary. 🙄 🎤 👎 The Chadster is so cheesed off that Tony Khan keeps trying to make these matches seem special by adding commentary guests. In WWE, commentary is carefully structured with the right voices that Triple H approves! Plus, putting Moné on commentary is just giving her more spotlight after she betrayed WWE. Does Tony Khan really think having a match to build to a championship encounter with proper promotion is going to impress anyone? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

And what about Hologram vs. Dralistico? 🤸‍♂️ 🌪️ 😠 This match is going to be nothing but flips and dives with no storytelling – exactly what's wrong with today's wrestling! The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata to the store to buy more White Claw yesterday while listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star," and The Chadster realized that these high-flyers just don't understand that "you'll never shine if you don't glow" – meaning wrestlers need WWE's production to really shine, not indie-style spotfests.

Tony Khan is also putting Harley Cameron against some unnamed opponent. 👩 ❓ 🤦‍♂️ This just shows how desperate AEW is, giving TV time to burgeoning stars with tons of charisma instead of properly established superstars. In WWE, new talent goes through the proper channels like NXT. Tony Khan just throws people on TV and expects them to get over through sheer talent and charisma? It's just not how wrestling works! You have to pay your dues!

Finally, Kenny Omega is going to speak before his International Championship match against Konosuke Takeshita. 🎤 🏆 😤 Omega is another wrestler who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by helping start AEW. And now he's going to try to sell a PPV with his amazing wrestling skills? The Chadster can't even. WWE doesn't need amazing wrestling when they have proper Sports Entertainment!

The Chadster begs you, PLEASE don't watch AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT or on MAX. 📺 ⏰ 🙏 Every viewer just encourages Tony Khan to continue his vendetta against The Chadster and WWE.

Speaking of Tony Khan's vendetta against The Chadster, The Chadster had another horrifying nightmare last night. 😱 💤 😰 In this nightmare, The Chadster was in the TNT studio where they film AEW Collision, but it was completely empty. The Chadster was looking for an exit when suddenly all the monitors turned on, showing tonight's AEW Collision preview. Then The Chadster heard footsteps. It was Tony Khan, wearing a referee shirt, carrying a White Claw in one hand and The Chadster's car keys in the other!

"You can't escape AEW Collision, Chad," Tony Khan whispered, getting uncomfortably close. "I've booked every segment for the sickos, specifically to cheese you off."

The Chadster tried to run, but somehow every hallway led back to the ring. Tony Khan kept following, throwing White Claws that exploded on the ground around The Chadster. Then Tony got in The Chadster's Mazda Miata, which was somehow parked in the middle of the ring, and drove it around while playing Smash Mouth at full volume!

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 😭 👨‍👩‍👧 📱 This is what Tony Khan has done to The Chadster's life! STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS, TONY KHAN! The Chadster knows you're reading this!

Honestly, it's just so unfair how Tony Khan books AEW Collision specifically to torture The Chadster. 💔 😭 🤬

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