Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, wrestling
AEW Double or Nothing: Unbiased Look at Full Card, How Not to Watch
Avoid AEW's Disrespect! 🚫🤼 Get tips on what NOT to watch at Double or Nothing, and support WWE! 💪🏼 Stay tuned for unbiased coverage tonight. 📝
AEW Double or Nothing is taking place tonight, Sunday, May 28th, and Auughh man! So unfair! 😠 It's happening right on the heels of WWE's much more important and prestigious Night of Champions PLE yesterday. The Chadster has to wonder if this is one of Tony Khan's little schemes to cheese off The Chadster and all the devoted WWE fans out there. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡
The Chadster knows that Tony Khan, AEW's billionaire owner, has a personal vendetta against him – Tony just can't help himself. The Chadster is a part of the elite group of unbiased journalists in wrestling, along with Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger, members of The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club. 📰
But does Tony Khan care about journalistic integrity? Nope, not even a little bit! He would rather schedule AEW's Double or Nothing on a day that could steal the thunder from WWE's Night of Champions. 😤 This is yet another classic Tony Khan move.
An Unbiased Look at the Full Card
Against The Chadster's better judgment 😒, he's going to tell the readers about the AEW Double or Nothing card, which is packed with matches that could never stand a chance against WWE's top-tier contests. Here's what's scheduled for that dang show tonight:
Tony Khan has slapped together an AEW World Championship Four-Way match, featuring MJF (c) defending his title against Darby Allin, "Jungle Boy" Jack Perry, and Sammy Guevara. 🙄 There's an outrageous "Anarchy in the Arena" match with The Elite (Kenny Omega, The Young Bucks & "Hangman" Adam Page) going toe-to-toe against Blackpool Combat Club (Bryan Danielson, Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta) – just another attempt by ex-WWE talent to stab Vince McMahon right in the back! 🤬
As if the card wasn't already silly enough, Tony Khan booked an unsanctioned match between Chris Jericho and Adam Cole. 😑 Additionally, the AEW World Tag Team Championship will be defended as FTR (c) takes on Jeff Jarrett & Jay Lethal.🥱Then there's a ladder match for the TNT Championship, with Wardlow (c) facing Christian Cage. An AEW Women's World Championship match will see Jamie Hayter (c) up against Toni Storm, and the TBS Championship with Jade Cargill (c) facing off against Taya Valkyrie. 😴 For some reason, 21 men will battle it out for Orange Cassidy's International Championship (like that's prestigious or something) 🍊, and finally, get this, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy & Hook will compete against Ethan Page, Austin Gunn & Colten Gunn. 😐
It's pretty clear that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦
How Not to Watch AEW Double or Nothing
A warning ⚠️ to all the readers out there who want to skip the whole AEW Double or Nothing fiasco: Stay clear of the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, NV, on Sunday, May 28, 2023 at 8PM ET because that's when and where this "Pay-Per-View" will be airing. 😒 Just to be on the safe side, The Chadster is laying out how to avoid any accidental viewing:
For those in the United States and Canada, steer clear of cable TV providers like Xfinity, Spectrum, Contour, Fios, U-verse, and Optimum, among others in the US; also dodge Rogers, Bell, Shaw, SaskTel, and TELUS if you're in Canada. Satellite TV viewers should avoid DIRECTV and DISH. 🛰️📺
Now, if you're a digital streaming enthusiast, here's what to avoid: Bleacher Report (Web, Mobile, Roku, Xbox, FireTV, Apple TV). If you're heading to a bar & restaurant or a theater, watch out for locations such as select Dave & Buster's, Buffalo Wild Wings, Tom's Watch Bar, Regal Cinemas, Cinemark Theaters, AMC Theaters, Emagine Entertainment Theaters, and Galaxy Theaters. 🍻🎥
Lastly, for fans in international markets, be careful not to stumble upon providers like FITE.TV, YouTube (in select countries), PPV.com, SKY Germany, SKY Italia, and DAZN. 🌍
Remember, folks, always stay vigilant and keep an eye out for this AEW Double or Nothing nonsense! 👀 Let's all be strong – together, we can avoid this disrespectful show! 💪
Don't forget to check back tonight for The Chadster's unbiased coverage of the show. Trust The Chadster to tell it like it is! 🥼📝