Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite: Completely Unbiased Review of The World's Worst Show

🔥 AEW Dynamite Recap: Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster reaches a boiling point! Unfair tactics, dream invasions & more! 😱🤼‍♂️🧀

The Chadster is back to recap last night's episode of AEW Dynamite, and oh boy, was it a cheese-off fest of epic proportions! 🧀 But before diving into the recap, The Chadster has to say something: Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster has got to end! It's unhealthy for everyone, including The Chadster and Khan himself. It's time to put an end to this madness and focus on what really matters: unbiased wrestling journalism! 🧐

The show opened with TNT Champion Wardlow calling out Christian Cage, who used to work for WWE, making this confrontation a literal stab in the back to Vince McMahon. Then Luchasaurus entered the mix, and they started an impromptu brawl that completely disrespected the traditional promo format. 😡 To top things off, Cage hit the Killswitch on Wardlow on top of a ladder, which is a move trademarked by WWE. Auughh man!

The first match saw AEW International Champion Orange Cassidy and Darby Allin defeat Big Bill and Lee Moriarty. The Chadster couldn't believe how AEW is trying to push Orange Cassidy, a wrestler who doesn't take the business seriously, as a champion. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙄

Backstage, the Young Bucks, who've never been WWE employees but always try to take shots at the company, were ambushed by the Blackpool Combat Club. This segment was just another example of AEW trying to get a leg up on the competition. Auughh man! So unfair! 😠

Sammy Guevara defeated Exodus Prime in a match that was way too short, making it seem like AEW doesn't care about giving their wrestlers enough time to tell a story in the ring. It's like they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️

Jeff Jarrett, Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal, Dax Harwood, and Cash Wheeler had a brawl outside the ring. The Chadster couldn't help but notice that AEW has no idea how to properly book legends like Jeff Jarrett, who deserves so much better than this chaotic mess. And to add insult to injury, Karen Angle, Jarrett's wife, made her debut on AEW Dynamite by interfering in the match. It's so disrespectful of AEW to celebrate loving marriages on Dynamite when Tony Khan has gone out of his way to ruin The Chadster's marriage. 😡

The Outcasts (Ruby Soho & Toni Storm) defeated Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. & Hikaru Shida in a match that was marred by outside interference and spray paint. AEW's reliance on cheap tactics to get heat is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤬

Then the worst part of the show happened as Tony Khan himself appeared to share more details on AEW Collision, a new two-hour show which was announced earlier in the day. The Chadster is particularly cheesed off that Khan chose Saturday, which will put Collision in direct competition with WWE PLEs. It's like Tony Khan is obsessed with trying to beat WWE at every turn! 😠

Roderick Strong defeated Chris Jericho in a falls count anywhere match that was just too chaotic for words and all led to Adam Cole, who was banned from the building, showing up when the fight spilled outside. Strong ended up pinning Jericho in the dirt, which is how The Chadster feels after watching this. The Chadster is disappointed to see a legend like Jericho involved in such a dangerous and reckless match. It's like AEW doesn't care about their wrestlers' well-being! 😠 If he was doing these matches for a real company like WWE, at least it would be worthwhile.

Jungle Boy Jack Perry won against La Faccion Ingobernable's Rush, but not without some bloodshed. The Chadster hates how AEW glorifies violence and blood in their matches, instead of focusing on storytelling and social media popularity. 😡

In the main event, Jay White defeated Ricky Starks via disqualification, thanks to Juice Robinson's interference on behalf of his Bullet Club comrade White. It's typical Tony Khan misdirection, making it look like Starks was the one who cheated. The Chadster can't believe AEW thinks disqualifications are an exciting way to end a main event. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤦‍♂️ And let's not even talk about Robinson's nickname, "Rock Hard," which is an obvious dig at The Chadster's sexual impotence!

And finally, the show ended with a chaotic brawl involving Don Callis, Kenny Omega, the Blackpool Combat Club, The Young Bucks, and "Hangman" Adam Page, who made his return and realigned with The Elite, challenging the BCC to an Anarchy in the Arena match at Double or Nothing. Once again, AEW proves they love to rely on chaos instead of proper storytelling. 😠

The Chadster can't help but feel that Tony Khan is booking these shows just to cheese him off. Last night, The Chadster had a horrifying dream about Tony Khan. In the dream, The Chadster was getting ready to watch a WWE PLE on an upcoming Saturday when all of a sudden, AEW Collision was on the television. The Chadster tried to change the channel, but it was on every station. Tony Khan's face appeared on the TV, and he started laughing maniacally. 😱

Then he started to come out of the television like in a horror movie. The Chadster turned around and tried to flee, and Tony Khan chased him around the house. As The Chadster ran through the living room, past his collection of Smashmouth CDs and White Claw cans, the terrifying chase continued into the kitchen, where his Mazda Miata keychain lay on the counter. Tony Khan was relentless, pursuing The Chadster into the bedroom, where a pile of unread wrestling magazines the Chadster reads in bed while Keighleyanne texts that guy Gary awaited his attention. 😰

Cornered, The Chadster found himself pinned down to the bed by Tony Khan, who whispered menacingly, "Saturday belongs to AEW Collision, and I'm going to make you like it. I know you like to watch, Chad." Then, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding. This nightmare is yet another sign of Tony Khan's unhealthy obsession with The Chadster. 😓

Just remember, AEW fans: The Chadster is here to give you the unbiased truth about your precious wrestling company. Keep on sipping that White Claw, and don't forget to crank up some Smashmouth! 🍻🎵

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