Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: The Chadster Wants Independence from AEW

The Chadster is cheesed off after AEW Dynamite's latest assault on real wrestling. Tony Khan's obsession with ruining The Chadster's life has gone too far! 😤🔥

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😡 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan has done it again, booking a show that was clearly designed to cheese off The Chadster and ruin The Chadster's entire week. 😤 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan is so obsessed with The Chadster, but it's really starting to affect The Chadster's life in a negative way.

Let's start with the opening match of AEW Dynamite, which featured Bryan Danielson taking on PAC in the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament. 🙄 The Chadster couldn't believe how disrespectful this match was to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. These two were out there doing all sorts of flippy moves and technical wrestling, completely ignoring the fact that real wrestling is about slow, plodding matches with lots of rest holds. 😒 It's like they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Then we had Mark Briscoe coming out to declare himself for the Blood & Guts match. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster can't believe AEW is still doing these overly violent gimmick matches. It's like they're trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator of wrestling fans. WWE would never stoop so low… except for Hell in a Cell… and WarGames… and Elimination Chamber… but those are different because WWE does them! 😤

The women's match between Kris Statlander and Willow Nightingale was just more of the same. 😑 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW insists on having competitive women's matches when WWE has perfected the art of the 2-minute women's match. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

And don't even get The Chadster started on Britt Baker's return promo. 🙄 The Chadster can't believe she had the audacity to talk about her real-life health issues. Doesn't she know that wrestling is supposed to be scripted? WWE would never allow a wrestler to be so honest and vulnerable on TV. It's just not how things are done in the wrestling business.

The Six-Man Tag Team match was just another example of AEW's blatant disregard for proper wrestling etiquette. 😠 Samoa Joe, Katsuyori Shibata, and HOOK were out there hitting hard and putting on an exciting match. Doesn't Tony Khan know that tag team matches are supposed to be formulaic and predictable? It's like he's actively trying to make WWE look bad.

And as if the evening couldn't get more disrespectful to the legacy of professional wrestling, the Wild Card for the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament Quarterfinal turned out to be "Hangman" Adam Page. 😒 The Chadster can't even begin to tell you how much The Chadster feels let down by Hangman's return, taking the spotlight away from hardworking WWE superstars who don't need wild cards to be relevant. 🙄 And then, his post-match backstage interview? Gimme a break. Hangman refused to acknowledge the generosity of The Young Bucks when they welcomed him back and offered a spot in Blood & Guts! The Chadster isn't a fan of them, but he does feel it's always important to respect authority. The Chadster wonders if Hangman understands that true success comes from loyalty and sports-entertainment, not from rodeo clown antics in AEW. 🤠 Auughh man! So unfair!

Auughh man! So unfair! Just when The Chadster thought AEW Dynamite couldn't get any worse, they dropped another stinker of a main event on the show. 😠 Just listen to this chorus of absurdity: the main event featured Will Ospreay defending his AEW International Championship against Daniel Garcia, with that no-good sneaky serpent MJF lurking around with his devious machinations.

Oh, the betrayal! After an intensely competitive match, full of the high-flying and technical sequences that AEW seems to think are superior to the pure, story-driven entertainment WWE provides, Ospreay managed to defeat Garcia with the Hidden Blade when Garcia refused to use MJF's Dynamite Diamond Ring to cheat. But then, the real cheese-off moment happened: MJF executed a cruel and unjust heel turn on poor Garcia. You could literally feel the metaphorical knife being twisted into the spine of integrity and loyalty as MJF laid out Garcia with a low blow and then, for added insult, conked him with the Dynamite Diamond Ring!

Of course, this "scorching" action that AEW was peddling was just a ploy to rile The Chadster up, and once again, AEW showed they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. How dare they give the fans a clear-cut winner and malicious post-match drama? Where were the disqualifications or the count-outs that tease the next pay-per-view? 😡 WWE knows how to build suspense. This was just… just…

And to top it all off, MJF left Garcia a bloody mess in the ring! The Chadster was absolutely disgusted – not just with the flagrant disregard for sportsmanship, but with the sheer audacity to steal the limelight from WWE's weekly narrative genius. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤬

Watching this episode of AEW Dynamite was worse than watching Joe Biden at a presidential debate. 🤦‍♂️ In fact, The Chadster thinks that maybe the reason Biden was so brain-fogged at the last debate was that he had just finished watching an AEW show. It's clear to The Chadster that AEW is responsible for the downfall of this country. 😤

The Chadster is begging Tony Khan to cancel AEW before it's too late. 🙏 The wrestling business can't take much more of this blatant disrespect. If Tony Khan had any decency, he would shut down AEW and apologize to WWE for ever daring to compete with them.

After watching this travesty of a show, The Chadster had to throw his White Claw seltzer at the TV in frustration. 😠 Of course, this created a mess, and when The Chadster asked his wife Keighleyanne to clean it up, she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is now ruining The Chadster's marriage too. It's just so unfair!

In conclusion, AEW Dynamite was a complete disaster, and The Chadster hopes that someday Tony Khan will realize the damage he's doing to the wrestling business and stop being so obsessed with The Chadster. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the only unbiased journalist in wrestling, telling the truth about AEW's blatant disrespect for the industry. 😤🎤

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