Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite: Ruby Soho Beats Britt Baker, Toni Storm in Main Event

Someone should check the weather down in hell, because not only did the women's division main event AEW Dynamite, but Ruby Soho won a big match as well.

If there's one thing you can count on in the world of professional wrestling, it's that there is no lengths to which billionaire AEW owner Tony Khan will not go in his quest to make The Chadster's life absolutely miserable! Auughh man! It's so unfair! But if there's a second thing you can count on, it's that AEW Dynamite will always feature a single women's match, and it will always be in the second-to-last timeslot. That's the way it's always been and the way The Chadster assumed it always would be, which suits The Chasdster just fine, because treatment of the women's division is one area that not even the most biased wrestling journalist can claim AEW is better at that WWE. That's why The Chadster was just so cheesed off when the women's match was the main event of AEW Dynamite last night!

Ruby Soho won the match, defeating Britt Baker and Toni Storm, mostly because Storm and Baker couldn't stop feuding with each other to concentrate on the match. Ruby was left torn as to whose side in this feud to take, but she did make one thing clear with hand motions around her waist: she wants Jamie Hayter's AEW Women's World Championship. This is all so upsetting to The Chadster, because Ruby Soho is an underdog star who the fans can really get behind, which will only encourage Tony Khan to keep up this kind of booking, which will cause AEW to continue gaining ground on WWE, which The Chadster hates!

That was far from the only thing that cheesed The Chadster off about AEW Dynamite last night. The Chadster was particularly infuriated by the return of Christian Cage, who is continuing to defy WWE's proclamation that he shouldn't wrestle anymore by recovering from his injury and resuming his feud with Jungle Man after Jungle Man defeated Bryan Cage. Does Christian Cage think he knows more about the wrestling business than Vince McMahon? That's just so disrespectful, in The Chadster's opinion.

On a similar note, Christopher Daniels showed up on AEW Dynamite last night to join AEW World Champion MJF in the ring for a segment about Bryan Danielson. MJF paid Daniels off to badmouth Danielson, which The Chadster feels was a direct reference to the fact that Tony Khan pays wrestling journalists to badmouth The Chadster's beloved WWE. But, just like The Chadster refuses to be swayed from his commitment to unbiased journalism about how much AEW sucks, Daniels refused, instead praising Danielson ahead of his match with MJF at Revolution. MJF attacked Daniels for that but was chased off by Danielson. The Chadster felt personally attacked by this entire segment.

But what really cheesed The Chadster off this week was the match between Jon Moxley and Claudio Castagnoli vs. RUSH and Preston Vance. Later in the show, Hangman Page defeated Kip Sabian, and that brought Moxley and Castagnoli back out, leading to a confrontation involving The Dark order the ended with a new match booked for Revolution, Moxley vs. Page in a Texas Death Match. The Chadster can't stand that this PPV is getting so many exciting matches added to the card when it happens so close to WrestleMania. AEW should be more respectful of WWE and not book any big matches for the first half of the year, just to be safe. But Tony Khan isn't known for his courtesy, or The Chadster wouldn't be so sexually impotent!

The opening match of the night saw The Acclaimed, Billy Gunn, and Orange Cassidy defeat Jeff Jarrett, Jay Lethal, Satnam Singh, and Sonjay Dutt. It was a hard-hitting match that really set the pace for AEW Dynamite last night, and if there's one thing The Chadster can't stand, it's hard-hitting matches that set the pace for AEW Dynamite.

As if all of that wasn't bad enough, Mark Briscoe wrestled on AEW Dynamite again last night, defeating Josh Woods. And after getting that win, Tony Khan announced that Briscoe is officially All Elite! Why didn't you go to WWE, Mark Briscoe?! Why?!

As usual, AEW Dynamite was the worst thing to happen to The Chadster's week, but the week isn't over yet, and The Chadster still has to contend with AEW Rampage on Friday. It's clear that Tony Khan's sick obsession with The Chadster is completely out of control, but The Chadster doesn't know what, if anything, can stop Khan from his reign of terror and restore some of The Chadster's sanity (and sexual potency).

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