Fanboy Wrampage: Dave Meltzer vs. Ryan Satin Part 357

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, and I'm taking a brief time out from rigging the voting machines again just in case that Trump reinstatement thing is for real to bring you the latest hot goss from the world of professional wrestling. This time, the news isn't about the wrestling business itself, but its even more carny periphery, the esteemed field of wrestling journalism. Paid WWE shill Ryan Satin spent the last 24 hours arguing on Twitter with unpaid AEW shill Dave Meltzer, and Satin is just about fed up with the toxicity he himself contributes to every time he goes toe-to-toe with Meltzer online. The former TMZ journalist turned Fox WWE contributor wrote:

Paid WWE shill Ryan Satin
Paid WWE shill Ryan Satin

Of course, Satin, who has over 91,000 Twitter followers and a platform on Fox Sports where he is given access to top WWE stars for interviews, would be considered by some a fairly prominent voice in wrestling himself, compared to Meltzer, who has over 250,000 followers but no platform officially sanctioned by WWE or AEW. Meltzer has been in the wrestling gossip business for longer, so maybe it all evens out. Who knows? And who cares? I'll tell you who, comrades: Ryan Satin and Dave Meltzer care. Haw haw haw haw!

This time around, it was Meltzer who kicked off the argument, retweeting a tweet from an argument the two had last year (which Bleeding Cool covered at the time here) to gloat over being right about it.

This prompted a reply from Satin, who wrote:

Unpaid AEW Shill Dave Meltzer (Screencap: Dark Side of the Ring)
Unpaid AEW Shill Dave Meltzer (Screencap: Dark Side of the Ring)

Not to be outdone by Meltzer's pettiness, Satin then brought up another argument the two had last year over whether or not Meltzer disparaged Roman Reigns' cancer treatments and whether Meltzer body shames women by reporting on their plastic surgery, both of which are uncharitable interpretations of Meltzer's actual statements, though rooted in some truth.

The two then spent the next 24 hours sniping at each other in a series of pedantic tweets reiterating these points until one of them blocked the other, judging by the fact that Meltzer's quote tweets no longer show the content of Satin's tweets within them. So who won this sad dick-waving contest between two men who have dedicated their lives to writing about worked fights? Neither of them, of course. The moment you engage anyone in an argument on Twitter, you've already lost due to the nature of the platform. Well, maybe that's not exactly correct. If anyone won this argument, it's us, since we scored this sweet clickbait article out of it. Haw haw haw haw!

Until next time, my friends — and there will be a next time — socialism or death!

Fanboy Rampage was a blog by Graeme "Graham" McMillan dedicated to the funniest, most ludicrous, and most inappropriate comic book back-and-forths online. McMillan has moved on now, becoming a proper journalist for the likes of sexy Dora the Explorer advocacy website The Hollywood Reporter, but he gave permission to Bleeding Cool to revive his great creation. It's all meant in the spirit of good fun, but someone will probably end up butthurt, as these things go.

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
Comments will load 8 seconds after page. Click here to load them now.