Posted in: Impact Wrestling, Sports, TV | Tagged: impact, recaps, The Shovel, wrestling

Impact Recap – Kenny Omega, Karate Man, and Kayfabe Fanny Packs

Impact Wrestling had its highest rating in a long time last week. AEW also reached a ratings high. Meanwhile, Raw yesterday was a disaster, scoring its lowest-ever ratings and viewership. Can Impact continue to capitalize on the momentum? We'll find out.

I'm Jude Terror and this is The Shovel, a recap column in which I watch a minimum of eleven hours of wrestling each week and tell you what happened so you can sound smart when you're complaining about it online without having to waste so much time actually watching it.

Impact Wrestling Recap for December 15th, 2020 Part 2

Impact Wrestling, at this point, has about 13,000 viewers on Twitch, more than five times what would normally be considered a pretty good number. The viewership has been growing slowly all night. But Impact is also blowing it because there's no Melissa Santos on this commercial break, confusing the viewers, and some of them are wondering in the chat if the show is over.

Kenny Omega, Don Callis, and Karl Anderson are back on the tour bus. They talk trash about Rich Swann. Kenny calls Swann "Rich the Bitch." Anderson takes off for his match. Kenny says he's legit pissed off about Rich Swann. He implies he's gonna go after Swann. But presumably not this week, because all the in-ring stuff was taped weeks ago so Kenny can't go in the building until they tape new stuff.

Kiera Hogan and Tasha Steelz head to the ring. Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary come out. This is a semi-final in the Knockouts Tag Team Championship tournament. They have a pretty good match until Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee come out and attack Rosemary. Purrazzo gives Rosemary a Flatliner on the entrance ramp. Hogan hits a swinging neckbreaker pin on Taya for the pin. Hogan and Steelz advance to the finals, and I think they should win the whole thing.

In a promo video, Eric Young talks to Cody Deaner, who betrayed his cousin at Final Resolution, in an interrogation room. Young says pro wrestling is sick and it's made Deaner sick. He says something about parasites. It was hard to follow, honestly. Impact takes a commercial break.

Tasha and Kiera celebrate their victory backstage. They talk about the stolen arm wrestling money that disappeared at Final Resolution, and Steelz shows Hogan that it really has gone missing because her fanny pack is empty. Johnny Swinger shows up with a six-pack and wants to party with them. Hogan calls him somebody's uncle again (it's not as funny the second time) and she and Tasha leave. Steelz leaves her fanny pack behind and Swinger picks it up because it's gold and therefore an upgrade from his fanny pack. He finds a "kayfabe compartment" and inside it is the money. Uh oh!

Josh Alexander comes out, followed by Brian Myers. They have a match. Ethan Page runs out early in the match to cheer on his partner. Myers shoves him face-first into the ring-post, knocking Page out. Alexander attacks, but for some reason, Myers kicks his ass too. Why does being a jobber in WWE make you better than a member of one of Impact's best tag teams ever? Page wakes up and he's transformed into The Karate Man. He interferes, getting Alexander disqualified, but kicks Myers' ass. Alexander is not pleased. He shoves Page and Page spins around and makes a karate pose at him. Alexander yells at him and leaves.

Another of those Hard to Kill promos with Eric Young talking to Cody Deaner in the interrogation room. He makes Deaner repeat after him. "I was wrong. I have a disease. They weren't laughing with me. They were laughing at me." Young baptizes Deaner into his new cult or whatever. "This world doesn't belong to them. It belongs to us."

Commercials. Melissa Santos tells off haters who came on Twitch just to say Impact sucks. Don't fall into the trap, Melissa!

Acey Romero appeals to Tommy Dreamer. He's known Larry D since they were kids and he couldn't have shot John E. Bravo. Rhino talks to Cousin Jake, consoling him on his cousin getting brainwashed. Dreamer asks Jake if he's afraid of Young and Rhino if he's afraid of Doering. he suggests they team up and take on Young and Doering. They like the idea.

The next two weeks of Impact will be Impact Holiday Specials. I'm not sure what that means, but I guess I'll find out next week. It looks like it might not include matches because Matthews and Rayne promote matches happening in 2021.

Karl Anderson comes to the ring. Chris Sabin follows with Alex Shelley. There are 13,500 viewers, which looks like it may be the peak tonight. They have a match. A pretty good one. Kenny Omega and Don Callis watch it from Kenny's tour bus. Anderson dominates up to the first commercial break. Sabin makes a comeback after it.  The match hits 14,300 viewers mid-match, so I was a little premature before. That's never happened before! Anderson rolls up Sabin and holds the tights for a cheap win. Callis and Omega celebrate from the tour bus. Rich Swann comes out and berates Anderson for being cheap.

In the tour bus, Kenny gets mad about Rich Swann again. Callis tells him the champion does what he wants. Kenny agrees. He gets up and leaves the tour bus.

Backstage at Impact (in a segment filmed weeks after the match we just watched), Swann tells Anderson he doesn't need Omega. Anderson decks him. The Machine guns attack. The Big LG shows up to get Anderson's back. Swann lays out Big LG. Kenny Omega appears and lays out Swann. He gets down in his face.

"Rich, this may be your house. You may be the champion. But as long as you're a wrestler, this is my world, You're just living in it. What do you say folks? Hard to Kill? we reform the old Bullet Club? You guys wanted it. We're gonna give it to you." Don Callis makes a match: Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers vs. Rich Swann and the Motor City Machine Guns. They throw up the Too Sweet hand sign and Impact goes off the air.

The Recap is Over, But the Clicks Aren't

Just because this is the end of this Impact Wrestling recap doesn't mean you have stop giving us your clicks. Tomorrow morning, I'll be back with recaps of both NXT and AEW, so stick around and thanks for reading.

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