Now Bow Wow Wants to Be Like Bad Bunny, Become a WWE Superstar

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, bringing you news on the latest fusion of hip hop and wrestling. That's right, another rapper wants to become a wrestler now: Bow Wow. Yes, former child rapper Bow Wow, who is apparently still around, wants to become a wrestler.

Rapper Bow Wow from the music video Like You.
Rapper Bow Wow from the music video Like You.

Bow Wow swears for real this time he will actually release his new album in 2021, but after that, the formerly Lil' rapper plans to abandon the music business to pursue his true passion: pro wrestling. That's right, after seeing the success Bad Bunny has achieved, Bow Wow is looking to follow in his footsteps and become a WWE Superstar himself.

And while it's true that it's been over a decade since Bow Wow released an album, WWE will still gladly take him. They'll take anyone with even a modicum of celebrity, comrades. The fact that Bad Bunny is a hot recording artist right now is a fluke! Usually it is only D-list celebrities or people a decade or more past the peak of their popularity who are willing to debase themselves by getting involved with WWE, but WWE's management, especially Vince McMahon, are such desperate starf**kers, they will take literally anyone, comrades! Haw haw haw haw! Unfortunately, some of WWE's current Superstars are less than receptive to Bow Wow's dreams.

But Bow Wow, already apparently a master of the business, wasn't going to lay down for a couple of jabronies, comrades.

Bow Wow also ran afoul of Dominik Mysterio when he tried to steal his dad and tag team partner, Rey Mysterio.

Oh yes, Ricochet got involved too.

But at least one pair of superstars are willing to align themselves with Bow Wow.

Of course, all of this is contingent on Bow Wow actually releasing that new album first, and comrades, let me just tell you: don't hold your breath. Haw haw haw! Until next time, my friends: socialism or death.

 

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About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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