On Friday, The Chadster was forced to watch and report on AEW Rampage, despite the fact that everyone knows AEW and Tony Khan have a personal vendetta against The Chadster. But tyrannical Bleeding Cool television editor Ray Flook wasn't done torturing The Chadster yet. Flook, who is known to be in cahoots with Khan (how else do you explain this??), also forced The Chadster to watch and report on AEW Dynamite the very next day. If The Chadster wasn't the world's most unbiased wrestling journalist, The Chadster would probably be pretty cheesed off right now and it would definitely be showing. But The Chadster is a consummate professional, even if, thanks to AEW, The Chadster is no longer able to consummate his marriage because he has become sexually impotent. To prove it, here is The Chadster's completely unbiased review of AEW Saturday Night Dynamite.
Everything the Chadster Hated About AEW Dynamite
The first thing The Chadster hated about AEW Dynamite was the opening match, which was the first match of the AEW World TItle Eliminator Tournament and featured Bryan Danielson vs. Dustin Rhodes. When Bryan, a traitor, left WWE, it's clear that his intention was to put on epic matches with everyone he could get in the ring with him, and that apparently includes Dustin Rhodes. Rhodes may be old but he can still go when properly motivated, and this was one of those times. You can tell that a match is good when the crowd starts chanting AEW! AEW! AEW! The Chadster was nearly brought to tears when that happened. Why?! It's so unfair! How come the crowd never chants WWE! WWE! WWE! The Chadster chants that at home by himself while watching Raw, but he never hears the crowd do it. Danielson won with a guillotine to advance to the next round of the tournament.
The second thing The Chadster hated about AEW Dynamite was the promo Kenny Omega and The Elite cut on Hangman Adam Page backstage. They're really going hard against their old friend, and it adds a level of emotional investment to that feud that The Chadster things is really unnecessary, considering how well it's been booked for so long anyway. It's really very unfair if you think about it.
The Chadster also hated a video package promoting the feud between FTR and the Lucha Brothers that aired next.
Back in the ring, The Chadster really hated a segment where Tony Schiavone tried to interview Sting about Darby Allin, who's been absent since being attacked by The Pinnacle in the parking garage a few weeks ago. MJF came out to cut one of his trademark heel promos on the crowd and on Sting. Then Shawn Spears and Wardlow helped MJF beat down Sting with a steel chair, and MJF cradled the incapacitated Sting's head while he sent Darby Allin a message. This was fundamental wrestling drama, and personally, The Chadster feels the whole thing is very disrespectful because Sting was meant to have retired after giving the rub to up-and-coming WWE star Triple H, and AEW bringing him back for this epic run to turn Darby Allin into a star is like spitting in Vince McMahon and The Chadster's face. The Chadster knows that some people like others spitting in their face. At least, that's what The Chadster is able to gather from reading the text messages The Chadster has seen between The Chadster's wife Keighleyanne and that guy Gary she is always texting, but The Chadster doesn't like it and he's pretty sure that Vince McMahon doesn't like it either.
Speaking of things The Chadster didn't like, The Chadster really hated the promo Britt Baker cut on Tay Conti. Baker has really grown into her role as face of the AEW Women's Division, and it's so unfair, especially at a time when WWE is struggling not to revert to their Divas era attitude toward women and while tensions are rising backstage between the WWE Women's Division's top stars.
But what The Chadster hated even more about AEW Dynamite was the first match of the TBS Title Tournament between Ruby Soho and Penelope Ford, which Soho won. Another former WWE traitor who abandoned WWE the second they fired her, which The Chadster finds very disrespectful. Red Velvet saved Soho from a beatdown by Ford and The Bunny after the match.
The Chadster also hated the segment that took place backstage where Wardlow confronted MJF about tossing him in front of Sting two weeks ago. But MJF brushed it off and assigned Wardlow Shawn Spears as his "accountabilibuddy." How can MJF be such a nasty heel, but funny at the same time? Heels should fit one archetype: sniveling coward. That's what The Chadster has learned from years of watching his beloved WWE, and The Chadster doesn't know where Tony Khan gets off thinking he knows better than someone like Vince McMahon.
Speaking of Tony Khan second-guessing the man who practically invented sports entertainment, Another former WWE traitor, Bobby Fish, faced Anthony Greene in a squash match. The Chadster was almost pleased with this match because it seems so rare that AEW books anything pointless. Did this mean Tony Khan was finally running out of his seemingly limitless creative energy? Unfortunately not, because when Fish tried to beat up Greene further after the match, CM Punk ran out to stop him, setting up a feud between Fish and Punk. Dang it!
The Chadster really hated a backstage segment that happened after that match where Lio Rush set up a tag match between himself and Dante Martin against The Sydals for next week. Booking things a week in advance is not what sports entertainment is all about.
In another World Title Eliminator match, Eddie Kingston beat Lance Archer by rollup after Archer nearly killed himself with a botched top-rope moonsault where he didn't flip far enough and landed on his head. Archer does seem to be okay according to reports this morning and Archer's own tweets, but for a moment, The Chadster set aside all his hatred for Tony Khan and AEW and everything AEW has done to The CHadster like ruining The Chadster's marriage, and The Chadster was concerned only for Lance Archer's safety. And The Chadster really hated that! How dare Lance Archer make The Chadster set aside his hate for AEW? So disrespectful!
Speaking of disrespectful, former WWE star and traitor Tony Nese was seen in the crowd during that match.
The Chadster definitely hated a promo between Sammy Guevara and the Men of the Year that set up a TNT Championship match between Guevara and Ethan Page for next week, where if Guevara wins, he gets to pick which members of American Top Team will fact the Inner Circle at Full Gear, but if Guevara loses, he has to leave the Inner Circle forever (and lose his title). How does AEW even keep up with all of these storylines? Anyone who knows anything about wrestling (which is basically Vince McMahon, Bruce Pritchard, and The Chadster himself) knows that you really only need storylines for a few of your main eventers and you can just wing it week-to-week with everyone else. But of course, Tony Khan would think he knows better than three great wrestling minds because he's incredibly arrogant.
For the first time in a long time, The Chadster liked something on AEW Dynamite because Jon Moxley cut a promo talking about how he doesn't care about AEW or the AEW title or the World Title Eliminator Tournament. Finally! Somebody saying it like it is! But unfortunately, Moxley turned that promo around into the reason that he's going to win the tournament because he wants to survive and get back home to his daughter. Dang it, Moxley!
The Chadster really hated a backstage reunion between Hangman Adam Page and the Dark Order, who discussed their Halloween costumes for next week.
But The Chadster was particularly cheesed off by the following match between Jungle Boy and Brandon Cutler, a squash that Jungle Boy won before Adam Cole came out to distract him and the Young Bucks attacked him from behind. Just like with Darby Allin and Sammy Guevara, AEW is trying to make a new star out of Jungle Boy and just like using STing and Chris Jericho, here they're using former WWE star Adam Cole to do it, and The Chadster thinks that is extremely disrespectful and unfair.
Miro cut another promo about wanting his championship back, and while it wasn't really any different than the last one, The Chadster hated it nonetheless.
And finally, the last thing The Chadster hated about AEW Dynamite this week was the main event, in which Cody Rhodes took on Malakai Black. Cody got his win back in a match loaded with interference and distractions from everyone associated with either man. The crowd was definitely behind Black, which The Chadster finds disrespectful because it makes it seem like WWE was wrong to ignore Black the entire time he was on the main roster and then unceremoniously fire him, and if there's one thing The Chadster knows for certain, it's that WWE is never wrong. That said, The Chadster does enjoy seeing the fans reject Cody, who is one of the biggest traitors in the history of sports entertainment.
The Chadster hated pretty much every single thing about AEW Dynamite, a show whose existence is seemingly designed to make The Chadster's life miserable. The Chadster doesn't know if Tony Khan will ever learn to respect Vince McMahon and everything he's done for the pro wrestling business, but The Chadster won't be holding his breath. And that's the bottom line 'cause Chad said so!