Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, aew rampage, wrestling

Tony Khan's AEW Collision and Rampage Tonight Will Never Be WWE Raw

Don’t miss The Chadster’s fiery take on tonight’s AEW Collision and Rampage. Find out why AEW will never match the greatness of WWE Raw!

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 Here we go again, true wrestling fans. Tonight, AEW Collision and AEW Rampage will air back-to-back, another three-hour block of continuous so-called "wrestling entertainment" from Tony Khan's All Elite Wrestling. This is clearly part of Tony Khan's never-ending, misguided vendetta to try and wrestle (pun intended) fans away from the greatest show of all time, WWE Raw. The Chadster can already feel his blood pressure rising at the mere thought! 🤬

In tonight's AEW Collision, we have Will Ospreay preparing to face Shane Taylor. Oh, come on! How many times will the AEW faithful fall for this over-the-top, flippy-dippy aerial nonsense? Ospreay's style is a far cry from the beautifully controlled matches the WWE puts on, defined by superior storytelling and skill. Tony Khan, you just don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️

Will Ospreay might want revenge after Shane Taylor blindsided him, but The Chadster knows this will be another match that leaves true wrestling fans longing for the methodical, dramatic pacing that WWE delivers every Monday night. You want a feud? Try something grounded and impactful like Jey Uso vs. Damian Priest. Now THAT's wrestling!

Next up, Serena Deeb is set to take on Anna Jay. So, let's get this straight. Tony Khan decides to throw the #1 Contender for the AEW Women's World Championship into a random match just a week before AEW Double or Nothing 2024? 🙄 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. A warm-up match, Tony? Really? This match will not and cannot ever compare to the rich storylines in WWE's women's division. Remember Becky Lynch's rise to superstardom? That's how you elevate a women's division.

Oh, great. Another FTW Contender's Series Match with HOOK taking on Johnny TV. Let The Chadster sum this up for you: no one cares. 🤷‍♂️ This is just another desperate attempt by Tony Khan to capture the lightning that WWE expertly contains within a tightly controlled bottle. HOOK might have a cool look and a rebellious attitude, but he's no Carlito. Trying to create WWE-style drama with poor imitations just cheeses The Chadster off to no end. And HOOK may want to drop Chris Jericho on his head, but he should know that Jericho has already committed the ultimate sin: he has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by associating himself with AEW all those years ago. 🤬

Then there's Katsuyori Shibata facing off against Rocky Romero. What is this, New Japan Pro Wrestling? When will Tony Khan understand that AEW is NOT Japan? The masses don't want overly-subtle, sometimes confusing storytelling. They want straightforward, action-packed narratives—the kind of which WWE excels at delivering.

The Trios Battle tonight features Bryan Danielson and FTR (Poor FTR, once under the mighty WWE umbrella) against Lance Archer and The Righteous. Great, more random pairings and meaningless contests. AEW can never hope to match the drama and grandeur of WWE factions like The Shield or The New Day. Once again, it's just another desperate, transparent attempt by Tony Khan to try and compete with WWE. 😒

Also on AEW Collision, we have Orange Cassidy vs. Isiah Kassidy. This isn't even worth discussing. Orange Cassidy's laid-back, goofy persona is a joke. Compare that to the era of Stone Cold Steve Austin, where every punch felt like it mattered. This match will just be another gimmick-filled disaster. AEW, learn something from WWE about how to build a star that the fans truly care about.

In the neverending parade of pointless matches, we've got an FTW Contender Series Match with Bryan Keith vs. Beefcake Boulder. Really? The FTW title has always been a farce, a poor attempt to copy the prestige of WWE championships. Is there even a purpose to this series other than Tony Khan's twisted desire to have more titles than WWE? 🙄

Then there's Nick Wayne vs. Jack Cartwheel. Talk about trying too hard to come off as "hip" and "current" with those wrestler names. The Chadster is literally laughing out loud at how pathetic this feels compared to the legacy of names like The Rock or The Undertaker. Try as you might, Tony Khan, your wrestlers' names sound like they're straight out of a cheesy video game character selection screen, not a serious wrestling promotion. 😂

And if that wasn't bad enough, we will also have to suffer through listening to "The Bastard" PAC & The Bang Bang Gang. Let's be clear: misuse of the microphone is just another way AEW disrespects the art of the promo. When The Chadster looks back at the iconic WWE promos delivered by the likes of Ric Flair and John Cena – now that's mic work that resonates and captivates the audience, unlike the verbal drivel AEW dishes out. 🎤👎

On AEW Rampage, Deonna Purrazzo will face off against Robyn Renegade. Deonna might think she's making a name for herself, but all she's doing is continuing her streak of irrelevance since leaving WWE. Talk about taking a step down! WWE's women's roster is where the real stars are, from Charlotte Flair to Sasha Banks. Tony Khan has no respect for the legacy these women have built.

There's more of Tony Khan's nonsense with Kyle O'Reilly going up against Lee Moriarty. Seriously? It's matches like this that are a slap to the face of established athletes who've honed their craft under the legitimate sports-entertainment guidelines that WWE treasures. Tony, buddy, pitting wrestlers against each other with no real stakes or WWE-level gravitas just proves you don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. And O'Reilly, once a bright NXT star, has found himself lost in the shuffle of AEW's chaotic inconsistency. 🤦

As if that wasn't enough, there's another match on Rampage tonight with Christian Cage versus Anthony Bowens. Look, Christian, The Chadster thought you knew better. Remember your time in WWE, where stories mattered and legacies were built? Now here you are, in AEW, just another cog in the machine that keeps churning out senseless matches. Another wrestler who has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back, and for what? To compete for what, fifteen minutes of fame on a lesser show? It's all a bit tragic if you ask The Chadster. 🙄

Every time AEW announces a match, The Chadster can just hear Tony Khan laughing maniacally, knowing that he's attacking not just WWE, but The Chadster's very soul. "All Elite Wrestling," more like "All Elite Disrespecting," if you ask The Chadster. 😤

In conclusion, wrestling fans, The Chadster urges you—no, begs you—do not tune into AEW Collision or AEW Rampage tonight at 8/7C on TNT. It will only embolden Tony Khan in his quest to ruin wrestling as we know it. Instead, why not watch some old WWE re-runs or catch up on the latest WWE Raw episodes? 🍿 Trust The Chadster, you'll thank him later.

Tony Khan, if you're reading this (and The Chadster suspects you are, because you're so obsessed), please just give up your futile attempts to upstage the greatest wrestling company in the world. You're only embarrassing yourself… and cheesing off The Chadster! 😠

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!