Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe backlash
WWE Backlash: Cargill and Belair Win Titles in Harsh Lesson for AEW
The Chadster's mind was blown by WWE Backlash in France! 🤯🇫🇷 Cargill & Belair's win proves WWE's superiority, leaving Tony Khan in shambles. 😎💪 Auughh man!
🚨🚨🚨 HOLY SMOKES! STOP THE PRESSES! 🚨🚨🚨 The Chadster just witnessed the most amazing event in the history of sports entertainment – WWE Backlash! 🤩💪 The Chadster is literally shaking with excitement right now, and not just because of all the White Claw The Chadster chugged during the show. 🥤😅 No, The Chadster is shaking because WWE Backlash was SO GOOD that it makes everything Tony Khan and AEW have ever done look like a middle school talent show in comparison (and not The Chadster's middle school talent show where he performed a perfect rendition of Smash Mouth's All Star that's still talked about all over Punxsutawney today)! 😂🙄
First of all, let's talk about the fact that WWE Backlash took place in FRANCE! 🇫🇷🗼 That's right, WWE is a GLOBAL POWERHOUSE, spreading the joy of sports entertainment to all the peoples of the world! 🌍🎉 Meanwhile, AEW can barely fill a bingo hall in Jacksonville. 😴💤 Tony Khan WISHES he had the international appeal of WWE, but he's too busy booking shows specifically to cheese off The Chadster! 😡😤
But the real headline of the night was Bianca Belair and Jade Cargill winning the Women's Tag Team Championships! 🏆✨ This is how you book a star like Jade Cargill – by having her win a secondary title in a tag team, not by giving her a meaningless undefeated streak and a secondary singles title like AEW did. 🙄💩 It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😂😂😂
And don't even get The Chadster started on the other matches! The Bloodline coming out on top over Kevin Owens and Randy Orton? 🔥🔥🔥 Better than anything on AEW this year or any year! Bayley retaining against Naomi and Tiffany Stratton? 😍💋 More compelling than any women's match in AEW history! Jey Uso failing to take the World Heavyweight Championship from Damian Priest ? 😤😳 A clinic that made every AEW world title match look like a joke! And don't even get The Chadster started on Cody Rhodes fending off a challenge from AJ Styles! 🐐🐐 Two masters of their craft putting on a storytelling masterpiece! 😭🙌
In fact, every single second of this nearly 5-hour show was pure bliss for The Chadster. 🥰🥰🥰 The Chadster laughed, The Chadster cried, The Chadster cheered, The Chadster booed, The Chadster chugged White Claw seltzer and ripped off his shirt to display his glistening twelve-pack abs – The Chadster experienced every emotion possible thanks to the brilliant artists at WWE. 🎭🎨 This wasn't just the greatest night in wrestling history, it was one of the greatest nights in the history of television, maybe even in the history of human achievement! 🏛️🎓
And yet, some people – let's call them "AEW fans" 🙄 – will still try to argue that AEW is somehow on WWE's level. 😂😂😂 The Chadster can only assume that Tony Khan has paid them off, or maybe threatened their families. 😨 Because there is no other explanation for not recognizing the pure, unfiltered GREATNESS that WWE displayed at WWE Backlash. 🐐🐐🐐 No, the only logical explanation is that Tony Khan is jealous of WWE's success and has launched a campaign of hatred and misinformation against WWE and against The Chadster. 😡🤬
But Tony Khan's campaign of terror will not succeed! 😤✊ Because the whole world saw the greatness of WWE at WWE Backlash. 🌍🙌 The Chadster believes that if every human being on Earth could have experienced the magic of this event, all wars would cease, all hatred would disappear, and we would finally achieve an era of global peace and understanding. 🕊️🌈 And then maybe we could all come together and listen to some Smash Mouth, or at least watch the video of The Chadster's middle school talent show performance. 🎵😎
So in conclusion, WWE Backlash was the greatest night in the history of our sport, and possibly in the history of human civilization. 🗿🏛️ And if you disagree, The Chadster can only assume that you are part of Tony Khan's campaign to silence and destroy The Chadster. 😡🤐 But The Chadster will not be silenced! 📢🗣️ The Chadster will continue to speak the truth about WWE's superiority and AEW's inferiority, no matter how many White Claws Tony Khan spills on The Chadster's car while he's sleeping! 😤🚗 Because that's what unbiased journalism is all about! 📰💪
Auughh man! Acknowledging the greatness of this show has The Chadster so worked up! 😆😳 The Chadster needs to go take a drive in The Chadster's Mazda Miata to calm down. 🚗💨 Smell ya later, Tony Khan! 👋😎