Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview: Title Match Canceled; Is It Tony Khan's Fault?

Naomi's match CANCELED on WWE Raw! The Chadster suspects Tony Khan sabotage! 😡 CM Punk opens, Becky defends, and The Chadster boofs Seagram's in protest! 🍹

The Chadster is absolutely devastated to report some heartbreaking news about tonight's WWE Raw! 😭 The most incredible women's championship match in wrestling history has been CANCELED! Naomi is not medically cleared to compete, which means her scheduled Women's World Title defense against IYO SKY will not be taking place on WWE Raw tonight! 🚨 WWE announced this shocking news on Twitter, and The Chadster is literally shaking right now! This could have been the greatest women's championship match of all time, and now it's been ripped away from us! 💔

The Chadster doesn't want to point fingers, but isn't it suspicious that this happens right when WWE Raw was about to put on a match that would have made anything in AEW look like child's play? 🤔 The Chadster thinks Tony Khan might be behind this somehow! Maybe he sabotaged Naomi's water with something to make her sick? Or perhaps he paid someone to "accidentally" bump into her at the hotel? The Chadster wouldn't put anything past Tony Khan! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 This match was going to showcase WWE's commitment to keeping title reigns nice and short, unlike AEW where they let wrestlers have long, meaningful title reigns that actually give the championships prestige! Tony Khan literally can't stand WWE having success!

The Chadster actually had a nightmare about this exact scenario last night! 😱 The Chadster was in the WWE Performance Center watching Naomi train for her big match on WWE Raw, when suddenly The Chadster noticed Tony Khan hiding behind one of the training rings with a voodoo doll that looked exactly like Naomi! The Chadster tried to warn everyone, but no one would listen! Then Tony Khan spotted The Chadster and started chasing The Chadster through the Performance Center hallways, waving the voodoo doll and cackling like a maniac! The Chadster ran into Triple H's office for safety, but when Triple H turned around in his chair, it was actually Tony Khan wearing a Triple H mask! 😰 He cornered The Chadster and whispered, "No one will ever see that Women's World Title match on Raw, Chad. No one." Then The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and now it's actually happening! Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams and sabotaging WWE Raw! 🛑

Now WWE Raw viewers will have to tune in for continuing coverage on this developing story. The Chadster is sure that WWE will handle this situation with the utmost professionalism, unlike how AEW just throws random matches together when someone gets injured! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it when AEW adapts on the fly to unexpected circumstances! 😤

At least WWE Raw still has CM Punk kicking off the show tonight, and this could legitimately be the greatest opening segment in the history of professional wrestling! 🔥 The way WWE has built this story with Punk getting beaten down by Seth Rollins, Bron Breakker, and Bronson Reed is pure storytelling genius that respects the wrestling business! And can The Chadster just say how brilliant it was for Rollins to cash in his Money in the Bank contract at SummerSlam? That's real long-term booking, not like Tony Khan's chaotic unpredictability where you never know what's going to happen next! The emotional depth and carefully scripted nature of this WWE Raw opening segment will make every other wrestling promo in history look like amateur hour! 💯

And dang, The Chadster still cannot believe we're getting a Women's Intercontinental Championship match between Becky Lynch and Maxxine Dupri on WWE Raw tonight! 👑 This first-time-ever encounter could be the most important women's match in WWE Raw history! The way WWE built this through a backstage confrontation with Natalya and the Dungeon Dolls shows real character development, not like AEW where they give wrestlers creative freedom to develop their own characters! Lynch defending her title against Dupri on WWE Raw is going to be a perfectly choreographed exhibition that will revolutionize women's wrestling forever! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business when he books women's matches that go longer than 5 minutes! 🙄

The Chadster is also so excited for Sami Zayn versus Rusev on WWE Raw! 🔥 The fact that they haven't wrestled since 2017 makes this feel special and important, unlike AEW where they book fresh matchups every week with wrestlers from all over the world! Zayn being 3-0 against The Bulgarian Brute adds real sports-like statistics to WWE Raw that make it feel legitimate! The backstage brawl with Sheamus that set this up shows WWE's ability to create storylines that follow the exact same pattern every single time, not like AEW's confusing approach of having multiple storylines intersect and evolve organically! This could easily be the greatest match between these two competitors ever, and possibly the best match in WWE Raw history! 💪

The Chadster would like to submit a formal complaint about this situation to Netflix, who broadcasts WWE Raw:

Dear Netflix Wrestling Department,

It has come to The Chadster's attention that Tony Khan has once again interfered with WWE programming by somehow causing Naomi to be medically unable to compete on tonight's WWE Raw. This is a clear violation of wrestling ethics and possibly several federal laws. The Chadster demands a full investigation into AEW's owner and his suspicious activities around WWE talent.

The Chadster suggests checking security footage at Naomi's hotel, examining her food for foreign substances, and questioning anyone who may have been wearing a fake mustache in her vicinity over the past 48 hours.

This is the third time this month that Tony Khan has personally ruined something The Chadster was looking forward to, after he caused The Chadster's Miata to get a flat tire and made The Chadster's Filet O'Fish sandwich taste funny.

The Chadster expects swift action on this matter.

Unbiasedly yours,
The Chadster

Speaking of respecting the audience, The Chadster needs to mention that unbiased journalist Kevin Nash recently said on his podcast, "WWE Raw has mastered the art of last-minute changes. When WWE cancels a match, it's because they're creating dramatic tension. When AEW changes a match, it's because Tony Khan doesn't know what he's doing. I know which company I'd rather work for." See? Even unbiased journalists with the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval understand that WWE Raw handles unexpected changes better than anything Tony Khan could ever produce! 📺

The Chadster is so cheesed off right now about this Naomi situation that The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne how Tony Khan must be behind it. The Chadster showed her the WWE tweet and everything! 📱 Keighleyanne just sighed and said, "Maybe she's actually injured, Chad. Or maybe it's a storyline. Not everything is a conspiracy." Then she went back to texting that guy Gary! Can you believe that? Tony Khan has clearly gotten to Keighleyanne too! And since Keighleyanne still won't let The Chadster drink normally after what happened last month, The Chadster will be boofing some Seagram's Escapes Spiked popsicles tonight while watching WWE Raw! 🍹

Listen, even with this devastating news about Naomi, if you don't tune into WWE Raw tonight at 8ET/5PT on Netflix, you would literally be shirking your duty as a wrestling fan! 🚨 The Chadster doesn't understand how anyone could think AEW is more fun to watch than WWE Raw just because AEW has varied match styles, international talent, and lets the crowd's energy influence the show! Those people have literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! Tonight's WWE Raw is going to be historic, groundbreaking, and exactly what you expect in every possible way! As Smash Mouth once said, "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play," and if you don't play by watching WWE Raw tonight despite this Tony Khan-orchestrated sabotage, you'll miss the greatest wrestling show ever produced! 🌟

The Chadster is literally getting emotional thinking about how perfectly scripted and micromanaged tonight's WWE Raw is going to be! This is what real wrestling looks like, not that spontaneous crowd-pleasing nonsense where wrestlers get to showcase their individual styles that Tony Khan books! WWE Raw tonight will set the standard for professional wrestling for the next century! Mark The Chadster's words! 💯🔥🎉

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