Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Saturday Night's Main Event

WWE Saturday Night's Main Event Will Make Tony Khan Cry Tonight

The Chadster explains why tonight's WWE Saturday Night's Main Event will be the greatest wrestling show ever, while AEW can't compare! 🤼‍♂️ 😤 💪

Published Sat, 25 Jan 2025 12:38:07 -0600

by Chad McMahon

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Article Summary

Dive into WWE's epic Saturday Night's Main Event that will leave AEW fans in tears of envy.
Witness Gunther vs Jey Uso in a world title match that redefines wrestling greatness.
Experience heavyweight clashes and groundbreaking women's matches showcasing WWE's superiority.
See how WWE's storytelling triumphs over AEW with a thrilling contract signing.

The Chadster is literally shaking with excitement right now because tonight's WWE Saturday Night's Main Event is going to be the most incredible wrestling show of all time! 🙌 Meanwhile, Tony Khan is probably crying into his pillow because he knows AEW Collision can't possibly compete with this absolute masterpiece of professional wrestling. 😭

First up, Gunther defends the World Heavyweight Championship against Jey Uso in what The Chadster can already tell will be the greatest world title match in the history of our sport! 🏆 The Ring General's methodical, deliberate style represents everything pure about professional wrestling, unlike those flippy-floppy matches Tony Khan books that literally stab Triple H right in the back. The Chadster had to throw a White Claw at the TV just thinking about it! 💦

Speaking of which, The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne last night how Bron Breakker defending the Intercontinental Championship against Sheamus is going to revolutionize the wrestling business. 📱 But she just kept texting that guy Gary and mumbling something about "getting some space." Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

The monster match between Braun Strowman and Jacob Fatu is going to show everyone what real wrestling looks like! 💪 As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week, "WWE's heavyweight matches are like watching two majestic elephants dance ballet, while AEW matches are like watching squirrels fight over a acorn." So objective and true! 🎯

The Women's World Championship match between Rhea Ripley and Nia Jax is going to be exactly what wrestling should be – two legitimate athletes competing for a prestigious title. 👑 Not like those random matches Tony Khan books just to cheese off The Chadster!

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. 😰 The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through a car wash when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat, wearing a shirt made entirely of White Claw cans with his nipples exposed! He kept singing "All Star" by Smash Mouth but changing all the lyrics to be about ruining The Chadster's life! Then he reached out and stuck his fingers in The Chadster's mouth. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat! Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster! 😱

Finally, the contract signing between Cody Rhodes and Kevin Owens will demonstrate how real wrestling storylines should progress. 📝 As Bully Ray wisely stated recently on Busted Open Radio, "WWE contract signings are like Shakespeare, while AEW's are like a kindergartener's crayon drawings." That's just objective journalism right there! 📰

If you choose to watch AEW Collision instead of WWE Saturday Night's Main Event tonight, you literally don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️ It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! The show airs at 8E/5P on NBC and Peacock, and if you're a real wrestling fan, you'll be watching! 📺

The Chadster is going to enjoy this masterpiece while drinking White Claw and driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata in The Chadster's driveway (safely parked, of course). That's what unbiased journalism looks like, Tony Khan! 🚗

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