Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Review: More on AJ Lee's Historic Surprise Return

The Chadster reviews WWE SmackDown featuring John Cena, AJ Lee's historic return, and perfect formulaic matches! Tony Khan could never book this brilliantly!

The Chadster just finished re-watching last night's WWE SmackDown and wow, what a masterclass in professional wrestling! 🤩 Every single moment was perfectly scripted by WWE's brilliant team of television writers, proving once again why WWE SmackDown is the gold standard of sports entertainment! Unlike certain other companies that let wrestlers just say whatever pops into their heads and calling it "creative freedom," WWE delivers consistent, reliable, sanitized entertainment that The Chadster can count on! 💪

The show opened with John Cena delivering a beautifully scripted promo that hit all the right corporate-approved talking points! 📝 The way he seamlessly worked in mentions of his farewell tour while maintaining WWE's strict branding guidelines was a masterclass in how to cut a promo! Then Sami Zayn came out and The Chadster loved how they stuck to the script. Tony Khan apparently doesn't believe in hiring professional writers! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤

The US Title match between Cena and Zayn was formulaic perfection! 🎯 The Chadster knew exactly when the commercial breaks would happen, exactly when the near-falls would occur, and exactly how the match would progress because WWE follows a tried-and-true formula that never disappoints and the commentary team spoonfed the story to The Chadster! Unlike AEW where matches are action-packed and unpredictable, WWE SmackDown gives The Chadster that comfortable feeling of knowing what to expect!

Then again, if some people enjoy a little unpredictability in their wrestling, is that neccessarily a bad thing? 🤔 NO! The Chadster refuses to have these impure thoughts! This is all Tony Khan's fault for making Keighleyanne ban The Chadster from drinking! Without Seagram's Escapes Spiked in The Chadster's system, these strange ideas keep creeping in! 😰

Anyway, as the Cena/Zayn match neared its conclusion, The Chadster had to run to the bathroom, and when The Chadster came back, and The Chadster missed the end of the match. The Chadster is sure that it ended in a way that made sure nobody looked too strong or too weak, probably with some kind of outside interference. The Chadster has no idea who interfered though. 🤷‍♂️ No need to dwell on that though. The Chadster is sure that whoever it was, they were completely non-controversial. The Chadster will post the video below without looking at it because it's just not that important.

The Damian Priest vs Aleister Black match was another example of WWE's superior 50/50 booking! 👏 Black won, which means Priest will probably win the rematch, maintaining that perfect balance where nobody gets so much momentum that they're at risk of overshadowing the brand itself! This is so much better than AEW where they actually try to create stars – auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business!

Giulia defending the Women's United States Title against Michin was exactly the kind of predictable championship match The Chadster loves on WWE SmackDown! 🏆 The interference from Kiana James was telegraphed from a mile away, giving viewers that safe, comfortable feeling of knowing exactly what would happen, and avoiding giving away a clean ending when it could be better saved for an even sponsored by the government of Saudi Arabia.

Though, The Chadster supposes that if there was a title change, it might have made the viewing experience more interesting. Maybe– 😵 NO! This sobriety is messing with The Chadster's head! Tony Khan is again forcing The Chadster to have tolerant thoughts about wrestling preferences! This is worse than that time The Chadster had that nightmare where Tony Khan chased The Chadster through a Seagram's Escapes Spiked factory while The Chadster couldn't drink any of it! 😱

The segment with Seth Rollins, Becky Lynch, CM Punk, and the returning AJ Lee was television perfection! 📺 Every word was carefully crafted by WWE's writing team to ensure maximum brand synergy! The way Michael Cole shouted "OH MY!" at completely expected moments while Corey Graves pretended to be shocked by AJ's return (even though everyone knew it was coming) showed why WWE's commentary team is superior to AEW's commentary who actually react genuinely to surprises! For a more in-depth analysis of AJ Lee's historic return, check out The Chadster's post from last night.

The Chadster is still absolutely cheesed off that even after AJ Lee's monumental return on WWE SmackDown, Keighleyanne STILL won't let The Chadster have even one Seagram's Escapes Spiked! 😡 The Chadster tried explaining that this was bigger than the moon landing, but she just kept texting that guy Gary! It's like Tony Khan has gotten to her too!

Eric Bischoff said it best on his podcast this morning: "WWE SmackDown's presentation is exactly what wrestling should be – safe, predictable, and micromanaged to perfection. Tony Khan could learn a thing or two about controlling his talent instead of letting them run wild with creative freedom. Also, has anyone from WWE corporate looked at my resume lately? I emailed it to them seventeen times this week, just in case they missed the first sixteen." See? Bischoff gets it! He has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 🏅

In conclusion, WWE SmackDown delivered another flawless episode of sports entertainment that followed the formula perfectly! 💯 No dangerous high spots, no unscripted moments, no surprises that weren't telegraphed weeks in advance – just pure, sanitized entertainment the way it should be! The Chadster urges all readers to continue supporting WWE and standing up against the unfair competition and bullying of Tony Khan and AEW!

Now if you'll excuse The Chadster, The Chadster is going to go sit in The Chadster's Mazda Miata and blast "Walking on the Sun" while trying to figure out why The Chadster keeps having these weird thoughts about respecting different opinions! 🚗🎵 Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

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