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The Chadster suffered through the worst AEW Collision ever! Tony Khan's obsession reaches new lows with suspicious Hogan tributes and disrespectful wrestling! 😡🤬
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown
WWE SmackDown Review: Perfect Scripted Wrestling Beats AEW Again
The Chadster reviews WWE SmackDown, including a flawless if weirdly-timed tribute to Hulk Hogan and the creative team's perfectly scripted matches!
Article Summary
- WWE SmackDown delivered perfectly scripted matches that made The Chadster feel safe, unlike chaotic AEW shows!
- The Hulk Hogan tribute and creative promos show WWE's genius storytelling—Tony Khan wishes he could book like this!
- Every segment, from Logan Paul to Jade Cargill, proves WWE understands real wrestling, not the nonsense AEW does!
- Tony Khan keeps trying to ruin The Chadster’s life and marriage with surprising AEW moments—so unfair to WWE fans!
The Chadster just finished watching last night's WWE SmackDown and wow, what an absolutely perfect episode of professional wrestling television! 😍 WWE once again proved why they're the undisputed leaders in sports entertainment, delivering a flawlessly scripted and produced show that made The Chadster feel safe and comfortable with its predictable excellence.
The show opened with a beautiful tribute to Hulk Hogan, and The Chadster has to say, it's about time WWE honored the Hulkster again! 🙏 Though The Chadster is a bit confused why they're doing another memorial when Hogan passed away back in 2014. The Chadster hasn't heard anything about him since then, so he must be up there in heaven with Vince McMahon, who tragically left us in 2021. But regardless, Triple H's speech was perfectly written by WWE's talented writing team, hitting all the right corporate-approved emotional beats!
Logan Paul hosting Impaulsive during WWE SmackDown was brilliant! 🎙️ The way WWE seamlessly integrates their celebrity talent into storylines is something Tony Khan can't touch. When Jelly Roll came out to confront him, The Chadster loved how the writers gave each performer their carefully crafted lines. Unlike in AEW where wrestlers just say whatever pops into their heads (so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!), WWE SmackDown ensures every word is meticulously planned for maximum brand synergy!
The match between Alexa Bliss and Roxanne Perez was exactly what The Chadster expects from WWE – a perfectly timed match with a predictable finish that didn't make The Chadster feel unsafe or surprised! 💪 Charlotte Flair cheering Alexa on with pom-poms was such creative genius that only WWE's writers could come up with. Tony Khan could never understand this kind of character development because he lets his wrestlers have too much creative freedom!
The Jade Cargill vs Chelsea Green match was another masterpiece of WWE booking! 🏆 The Chadster loved how it started backstage and seamlessly transitioned into the ring – that's the kind of carefully produced television moment that only WWE can deliver! The way Cargill dominated Green was perfectly choreographed to protect both competitors while advancing the storyline with Tiffany Stratton. The post-match dispute over the title was brilliant scripted drama! Unlike AEW where they just let wrestlers improvise and do crowd-pleasing spots, WWE ensures every moment serves the greater corporate narrative. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks letting wrestlers have creative input is better than this!
Cody Rhodes' promo about John Cena was masterfully written! 📝 Every pause, every inflection, every piped-in "CODY RHODES" chant was clearly orchestrated by WWE's production team. This is how you do promos – not like in AEW where wrestlers speak from the heart without a script. Auughh man! So unfair that Tony Khan doesn't hire proper television writers!
The Jacob Fatu vs The Miz match showcased WWE's brilliant 50/50 booking philosophy! The Chadster loves how WWE ensures everyone gets their fair share of wins and losses, creating that comfortable predictability that makes WWE SmackDown such reliable entertainment. The interference and post-match beatdown followed the exact formula The Chadster has come to expect and love! 🎯
The tag team title match and subsequent TLC announcement for SummerSlam was pure genius! 🪜 The Chadster appreciates how WWE's producers carefully choreographed every spot in that post-match brawl. Unlike AEW's chaotic, crowd-pleasing violence where wrestlers do whatever they think will get a pop, WWE ensures every move serves the greater corporate narrative and makes sure the brand is the true star.
After watching last night's show, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was trapped inside the steel cage from WWE SmackDown, but instead of Solo Sikoa and Jacob Fatu, it was Tony Khan stalking The Chadster around the ring. He was wearing Hulk Hogan's red and yellow, which felt so wrong and disrespectful! Tony kept whispering "Book it, Chad," in The Chadster's ear while chasing him with a can of that weak White Claw seltzer he likes to drink. The worst part was when The Chadster tried to escape through the cage door, but it was blocked by a giant stack of AEW contracts. Tony's breath was hot on The Chadster's neck as he cornered him against the turnbuckles, his eyes gleaming with that same obsessive intensity he shows when booking AEW shows specifically to cheese off The Chadster. The Chadster felt a stirring, deep in… was it The Chadster's loins? No, it couldn't be. Thankfully, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes when The Chadster tried to explain. She went right back to texting that guy Gary, who doesn't understand the first thing about the wrestling business and is probably an AEW mark! 😤
The Chadster would have enjoyed this episode even more with a Seagram's Escapes Spiked in hand, but Keighleyanne has forbidden The Chadster from drinking them! 🚫🍺 She claims it's because The Chadster threw twelve cans at the TV during AEW Dynamite last week, but that's clearly Tony Khan's fault! If she wasn't obviously in cahoots with Tony Khan, she'd understand that The Chadster was defending the honor of professional wrestling!
Even stone-cold sober, The Chadster is going to watch a replay of this WWE SmackDown right now because it was so dang good! Maybe even a third time! The way WWE delivers the same reliable, formulaic entertainment week after week is exactly what the wrestling business needs.
Readers, continue supporting WWE and standing up against the unfair competition and bullying of Tony Khan and AEW! 💪 WWE SmackDown proves every week why WWE deserves to have a monopoly on wrestling – they're the only ones who truly understand that wrestling should be carefully scripted, predictably booked, and never make viewers feel unsafe with unexpected moments!
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