Deadpool #7 – Deadpool Explains Why he Hates Marvel Comics [XH]

Four X-books were released by Marvel last week: Wolverine #6, X-Force #13, and Marauders #13 comprised three parts of the X of Swords crossover. I also cover Deadpool here in this column, even though Marvel doesn't really treat it like an X-book (even though it is). I read them all, so you don't have to. You're welcome!

Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities. Still, thanks to a corporate merger, a line-wide relaunch, and Jonathan Hickman's giant ego, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics for lovers of soap opera drama.

Deadpool #7 – Deadpool Explains Why he Hates Marvel Comics [XH]

The cover to Deadpool #7
The cover to Deadpool #7

(W) Kelly Thompson (A) Gerardo Sandoval (CA) Chris Bachalo
• Elsa Bloodstone is dying, and the only one who can save her is Deadpool!
• What's wrong with the mystical, magical Bloodstone gem? And what can Deadpool possibly do about it?
• The answers will shock you! The implications will astound you! The jokes will…well, we won't make any promises about the jokes.
Parental Advisory
In Shops: Oct 07, 2020
SRP: $3.99

Deadpool #7 Recap

In the issue's cold open, Deadpool dreams about kissing Elsa Bloodstone on the top of a volcano before falling in and being eaten by some kind of lava monster. After the credits, he wakes up on his throne in Staten Island and says no more dream monsters as footstools. The footstool says it was actually a prophecy monster.

Deadpool puts Night Wolf in charge of Monster Island and has hurl teleport himself, Elsa, and Jeff the Land Shark to Greenland. There is a "seam" there between the Marvel Universe and the dimension of the Bone Beasts, which have infected Elsa with something that's killing her. Deadpool is annoyed because it seems Elsa has been planning to get Deadpool's help with this all along. He wants her to be honest from now on, and she agrees.

She tells him everything which we see in a flashback. Afterward, Deadpool complains that the Flashbook took two pages, and it turns out he must not be a fan of pretty much every Marvel comic published these days, including this one.

Deadpool #7 – Deadpool Explains Why he Hates Marvel Comics [XH]

They find the seam, and they notice there's a village below it, with bone beasts sort of dripping into the village. Deadpool wants to save the village. Elsa says they should kill the queen first. Deadpool says a lot of people will die. Elsa reluctantly agrees to save the village. They do save the village, but they learn the bone beasts have kidnapped the children of the village (which is weird because, according to Elsa, they just eat bones, why would they care about children?).

So they go into the portal and meet the bone beast queen, a bigger and nastier looking version of the bone beasts (who basically are just mouths), who thanks Elsa for returning as promised and bringing it a new host body. Deadpool is not pleased with this. The issue ends there.

Well, it was nice to get a little break from X of Swords. Deadpool is a mostly enjoyable comic, with a few quirks. For one thing, I'm not entirely convinced this whole thing isn't just a backdoor pilot for an Elsa Bloodstone solo series, but I can't say that I hate these two sharing the lead. This was a fine issue, and it ended with a good cliffhanger.

Read more X-ual Healing here:

Deadpool #7 – Deadpool Explains Why he Hates Marvel Comics [XH]

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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