Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: Grand Slam Australia Build Strikes Out

The Chadster suffers through another disrespectful episode of AEW Collision, featuring flips, spots, and zero psychology. Plus, Tony Khan invades The Chadster's dreams again! 😤 So unfair! 🤼‍♂️

The Chadster had to suffer through another episode of AEW Collision last night, and auughh man! So unfair! 😤 Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and The Chadster will explain exactly why.

First, The Chadster needs to share something disturbing. Last night, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan. In the dream, The Chadster was at a burger restaurant, and Tony Khan was the chef, flipping patties while wearing nothing but an apron. Every time The Chadster tried to order, Tony Khan would serve The Chadster a White Claw instead of a burger, laughing maniacally. The Chadster drank them, of course, but it left him feeling even hungrier. When The Chadster complained, Tony Khan chased The Chadster through the kitchen with a spatula, whispering "This is for the sickos, Chad," over and over while trying to spank The Chadster with the hot metal instrument. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, clutching his Roman Reigns stuffy, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 😰

The show opened with Jon Moxley cutting a promo on Adam Copeland, and The Chadster can't decide what cheesed him off more: how disrespectful Moxley was being to a WWE Hall of Famer, or a WWE Hall of Famer being in AEW in the first place! The Chadster has decided to be equally as cheesed off about both! 😤

The three-way trios match with Undisputed Kingdom, Daniel Garcia's team, and Shane Taylor Promotions was just spot after spot with no psychology. As wrestling journalism expert Eric Bischoff always says, "AEW's trios matches are like watching a circus with no ringmaster." The ending with the Death Riders was so predictable – but not in the good way that WWE matches are predictable! 🤼‍♂️

Apparently, Max Caster is issuing an open challenge, and he clearly wants "Hangman" Adam Page to accept it. That's not how open challenges are supposed to work, but Max Caster can't be expected to know that since he never came up and paid his dues the right way in NXT. 🙄

Bryan Keith vs Bandido was just another flippy match that made The Chadster throw his White Claw at the TV. When The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to clean it up, she just sighed and kept texting that guy Gary, telling The Chadster that he should "be a big boy and clean up his own messes." Clearly, Keighleyanne is falling for Tony Khan's anti-Chadster propaganda. 😢

The LFI trios match against local talent was pure chaos, and that Komander run-in was so unnecessary. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan keeps trying to push international stars! Doesn't he realize that this impact's WWE's global expansion plans of having WWE-owned promotions competing with themselves? This isn't how competition is supposed to work, Tony Khan. 🤦‍♂️

That concert segment with Harley Cameron being interrupted by Mercedes Moné made The Chadster literally unable to drive his Mazda Miata straight, if you get what The Chadster is saying. Apparently just because Cameron can sing, she gets a title match in Australia? AEW needs to stop letting its wrestlers show off their talent. And using puppets in wrestling? Tony Khan is just ripping off the time that The Muppets were guest general managers for WWE Raw! Come up with your own ideas, Tony Khan! 😤

The face-to-face between Buddy Matthews and Kazuchika Okada was just two guys who don't know how to cut proper WWE-style promos making plans to meet up in Australia. So underwhelming! It reminds The Chadster of something that Booker T said on a recent episode of his podcast: "AEW guys need to learn to read from WWE scripts when cutting promos, and since they don't have WWE scripts in AEW, that means they should leave and pay their dues the right way in NXT." The Chadster can definitely dig that. 🎤

Dustin Rhodes squashing Izzy James was a complete waste of time, and his promo afterward about MJF just showed how far he's fallen since leaving WWE. Dustin Rhodes is literally disgracing the family name, and The Chadster bets his brother Cody is devastated by this betrayal. 😢

Thunder Rosa vs Penelope Ford was another example of Tony Khan not understanding women's wrestling. The post-match stuff with Megan Bayne was just confusing – why did Bayne sign with AEW instead of WWE? It just doesn't make any sense! 👎

That ridiculous segment with Ricochet and the burger guy was pure indie nonsense. WWE knows better than to feature local businesses in such obvious product placement deals! The Chadster will literally never go to Trill Burgers now that he sees how biased they are toward AEW. 🍔

The "glamorous exhibition" with Mariah May was a joke, and that whole Toni Storm switcharoo at the end made The Chadster so upset that Keighleyanne had to remind The Chadster to breathe into a paper bag. 😤

The main event between Mark Briscoe and Kyle Fletcher was just another spotfest with zero storytelling. As wrestling journalism legend Kevin Nash is always saying on his podcast, "These kids today wouldn't know a proper match if it tore their quad." The Chadster couldn't have said it better himself. 🤼‍♂️

In conclusion, this episode of AEW Collision was just another example of Tony Khan trying to ruin The Chadster's life. The Chadster is going to need several White Claws to recover from this one. 🍺

⭐ Rating: 0 out of 5 White Claws

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