Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage: Another Action-Packed Episode That Was Just So Unfair

Tony Khan refuses to give The Chadster a break, booking an episode of AEW Rampage that caused a massive fight between The Chadster and his wife.

AEW Rampage continued AEW's undefeated streak of delivering episodes that ROYALLY CHEESE THE CHADSTER OFF! The Chadster didn't go into watching last night's episode of Rampage with very high hopes, given billionaire AEW owner Tony Khan's track record, that Khan had learned even a single thing about the wrestling business or gained even an ounce of respect for it. Even still, The Chadster was thoroughly disappointed by the time the episode was done, and he was enraged enough to be forced to throw his White Claw seltzer at the television, which caused a massive argument with The Chadster's wife. And it's all Tony Khan's fault!

Sammy Guevara vs. Action Andretti opened AEW Rampage, so The Chadster knew right away this was going to be a particularly offense episode. The athletic talent of these two wrestlers is way higher than AEW deserves, and as The Chadster watched the thrilling, acrobatic competition, all he could think was what a shame it was that these two men didn't sign with WWE and become NXT stars instead. Daniel Garcia helped his fellow JAS member get the win by cheating, just like Tony Khan cheats in the competition with WWE by offering an exciting alternative to sports entertainment. Auugh man! So unfair!

After promos by Darby Allin and Jungle Boy, QT Marshall said he'll reveal the person who broke into Wardlow's car on Dynamite next week. That kind of mystery harkens back to the kind of angles you might see on wrestling television in the 1990s, which is obviously a ripoff of WWE, since AEW didn't exist in the 90s. Get your own ideas, Tony Khan!

Next up on AEW Rampage, The Acclaimed beat some jobbers in a squash match, only to be confronted by 2Point0 again. Next, Konosuke Takeshita took on Preston Vance, and if The Chadster thought the opening match was bad, this one was ten times worse, because not only did this hard-hitting bout showcase the talent of these two young stars, but it added the intrigue of Don Callis trying to recruit Takeshita as he was at ringside for the match, which The Chadster found to be extremely disrespectful to WWE and everything Vince McMahon has ever done for the wrestling business. You should be ashamed of yourself, Tony Khan!

Swerve Strickland cut a promo on Keith Lee, and then Mark Briscoe came to the ring to announce that he would vacate the ROH Tag Team Championship. The belts will be up for grabs in a Reach for the Sky ladder match at ROH Supercard of Honor, which really cheesed The Chadster off like nobody's business. The Chadster thought that ROH had its own TV show now. Why does Tony Khan need to promote it on AEW Rampage? The Chadster will tell you why: because Tony Khan will stop at nothing in his quest to trick more people into watching his wrestling shows because he has a personal vendetta against WWE and The Chadster. Why are you so obsessed with The Chadster, Tony Khan?!

In the main event of AEW Rampage, it was another classic AEW matchup as Riho took on Nyla Rose. This was another exciting match with the underdog Riho battling against the powerful Rose. But Riho was the one to get the win, countering a powerbomb by Rose into a rollup pin. The Chadster was absolutely disgusted that Tony Khan would so shamelessly pander to the crowd with an ending like this, but he wasn't surprised at all. The Chadster has come to expect this from Khan, week after week.

Ruby Soho, Saraya, and Toni Storm hit the ring to paint an L on Riho after the match to end AEW Rampage. It was at this point that The Chadster, fed up with what Tony Khan put hin through, chucked his nearly full can of White Claw seltzer at the television. The White Claw splashed all over the TV and made a puddle on the carpet. So The Chadster said to his wife, Keighleyanne, "Did you see what Tony Khan made The Chadster do? Can you clean that up please?"

Well, you won't believe what she said. Keighleyanne immediately got angry and began to yell at The Chadster. She said that it wasn't fair for him to blame Tony Khan for his own actions. She asked him why he had to watch the show if he was so angry and frustrated with it, and why couldn't he just not watch it if he was so mad? She said that if he was really so annoyed by Tony Khan, he should take action and do something about it, instead of just ranting about it and throwing White Claw seltzers at the television.

The Chadster was further embarrassed when Keighleyanne reminded him that it was his own decision to keep watching AEW Rampage every week, and that he was the one who allowed himself to get so worked up and throw the White Claw at the TV. She suggested that The Chadster try to take a step back and view the show objectively and focus on the wrestling instead of his own personal biases.

At this point, The Chadster totally lost it. With the exception of possibly Ryan Satin and Ariel Helwani, there is no more unbiased journalist in the entire wrestling business than The Chadster. Objective reporting on AEW is what The Chadster is known for, and it was clear that Keighleyanne doesn't understand the first thing about the wrestling journalism business.

The Chadster told Keyleighanne this, and then he reminded her that the White Claw was still on the floor and someone had to clean it up. Well, apparently, this was the wrong to say, because Keyleighanne screamed back at The Chadster that it was his mess and he should clean it up. She stormed off to the bedroom in a huff, and The Chadster was left to clean up the White Claw mess alone. Thanks a lot, Tony Khan.

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