Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, jeff hardy, samoa joe, wrestling

Looks Like Jeff Hardy is Not Getting an AEW Title Shot Anytime Soon

Jeff Hardy's hopes for AEW gold are dim, comrades! Find out why his social media jabs won't land him a title shot against Samoa Joe in El Presidente's latest post.

Greetings once again, my tenacious troupe of tapestry-toting titans! It is I, El Presidente, your supremo of scoop, your czar of zingers, broadcasting to you live from the glitzy penthouse of an undisclosed Las Vegas casino, where the roulette wheel is as rigged as my last election. Ha! Today, my comrades, I must bring to light the lamentable predicament of one Mr. Jeff Hardy, whose recent endeavor to captivate the attention of the AEW higher echelons has resulted in nothing short of a comedic opera… or perhaps, a social media tragedy?

Ah, comrades, as some of you might have witnessed, Jeff Hardy took to the digital battlefield of Instagram (where I now only participate under a highly encrypted alias—you never know when the CIA are lurking in your DMs), to castigate the booking of himself and his illustrious sibling in AEW. The beef? Being relegated to the lesser-viewed dimension known as AEW Rampage, while the flagship show AEW Dynamite exploded in the distance, sans Hardy fireworks.

Akin to a maestro without an orchestra, Jeff waved his baton at the social media masses with a graphic taunt, decrying the absence of "The Hardys" from Dynamite's limelight. Ah, but the winds of the internet are harsh and fleeting, mis amigos, and soon enough the tweet vanished like the hopes of a coup during monsoon season. In other words, said El Enigma Carismática in a now-deleted post:

We, "TheHardys" will not be appearing on this live show called #AEWDynamite. We, "TheHardys" are stuck in the dimension of, "AEWRampage"

A wise move, perhaps, for the AEW World Champion Samoa Joe—you know, the kind of guy who could crack the skulls of political dissidents in his sleep—has spoken: "No more will you have to go on your social media and make your hoe ass comments." Striking words, tough yet fair, like my own approach to peaceful protest, delivered during Joe's epic promo on AEW Dynamite last night.

This new decree, comrades, ushers in an era where merits are king and win-loss records are the passports to the championship glory—none of which smells like victory for our disenfranchised Jeff, whose own dossier might be missing a few crucial stamps of approval, due perhaps to being arrested shortly after joining AEW when he and his brother were slated to win tag team gold. Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Hardy Compound when that announcement broke! I imagine it would be like the time I graciously hosted Kim Jong-un for a UFC marathon; the disbelief, the tension, the sudden urge to nuke something…

Moving forward, if Jeff wishes to dance under the bright lights of Dynamite once more, he must forsake his "hoe ass commentary" and instead, embrace the proletarian method: Victory by the unwavering will of one's actions within the squared circle. Ahhh, it takes me back to my days as a young revolutionary, where I would passionately argue that the proletariat should own the means of suplex production!

But I digress. Comrades, I give credit to AEW for attempting to bring some semblance of sports-like legitimacy to the world of professional wrestling. It is a quixotic quest, akin to my own efforts to make the chihuahua the national bird of my beloved republic. Nonetheless, in a space where melodrama and social media outbursts are commonplace, I cannot help but secretly admire the anarchic spirit of wrestlers like Hardy, who fight against the machine, even when it is they who risk being ground in its gears.

So, to Jeff Hardy, I extend a comradely fist bump. Your struggle is not for naught, for in the theater of conflict, one's voice echoing against the walls can be as potent as a Swanton Bomb from the top rope—just, for heaven's sake, keep it off Twitter. As for El Presidente, I shall continue to observe, ponder, and report on these vivacious vignettes from the front lines where sports entertainment and reality TV meet—I revel in the magnificent chaos of it all!

Now, if only Tony Khan himself would heed his own champion's advice.

Until next time, stay vigilant in the ringside seats of life, my lucha libre aficionados. And remember, even in defeat, your El Presidente is always victorious! ¡Hasta la victoria siempre!

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