Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Dynamite, wrestling

Preview: Tonight's AEW Dynamite is a Disgrace to Wrestling!

Auughh man!😫 The Chadster previews tonight's AEW Dynamite, revealing how each match proves AEW is out to ruin wrestling! 🤬💔🤼‍♂️

Auughh man, so unfair!😫 Tonight's AEW Dynamite is packed with matches and segments that cheese The Chadster off! It's like AEW is only in existence to ruin The Chadster's life and please, AEW fans. Let's take a look at what they have planned for the night and why it's guaranteed to ruin wrestling as we know it.

First up, we'll hear from The Elite🙄. Yes, that's right, the heart of AEW, and responsible for everything that has happened to The Chadster. They're just as much to blame for ruining The Chadster's life as Tony Khan himself. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😒

Next, we have Saraya vs. Willow Nightingale. More of this angle with the former WWE stars in the Outcasts as the heels. Can't they just stick to WWE and respect what Vince McMahon has built? Every time The Chadster sees this, it feels like these wrestlers have literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back.😔🔪

Then there's Juice Robinson vs. Ricky Starks. It's pretty obvious the only reason Juice Robinson has a job in AEW is because his nickname is "Rock Hard." It's a clear dig at The Chadster's sexual impotence, which is so dang unfair! Plus, it doesn't help with trying to save The Chadster's marriage to Keighleyanne. Tony Khan, how much more obsessed with The Chadster can you be? 😖

And because fast-paced, high-flying action and excitement don't belong in wrestling, AEW is forcing us to sit through the Tres De Mayo Trios Battle Royal involving more teams than The Chadster can stomach. It's just what the world needed – a convoluted match full of chaos and broken traditional wrestling rules! 🤯

Moving on, we have Roderick Strong, Adam Cole, Bandido, and AEW International Champion Orange Cassidy vs. The Jericho Appreciation Society's Daniel Garcia, Jake Hager, Matt Menard, and Angelo Parker. The Chadster's heart still stings from Roderick Strong's debut last week. 🤬 How could he betray WWE like that?! And Chris Jericho is the ringleader of all these traitors! He should just go back to singing in Fozzy instead of ruining wrestling. 😠

Lastly, let's not forget the match featuring AEW World Champion MJF and Sammy Guevara vs. Jungle Boy and Darby Allin. This tag match is part of a build to a four-way match at Double or Nothing, and it's so disrespectful to treat these "pillars" (who didn't even pay their dues in WWE) as real contenders for a world championship! 🤬

The Chadster can't stress enough how unfair it all is!🤦‍♂️ AEW, why are you always trying to ruin The Chadster's life? The Chadster needs to calm down and take a drive in his Mazda Miata🚗, while listening to Smashmouth🎶 and drinking a cold White Claw seltzer🍹. Well, he will drink the seltzer after he gets back. Do you see that? Tony Khan almost made The Chadster drink and drive! Auugghh man!

Every time The Chadster thinks about Tony Khan and AEW Dynamite, it really gets The Chadster down. But you know what? The Chadster finds solace in the amazing lyrics of his favorite band, Smashmouth 😌. Their words inspire The Chadster to stand strong against AEW and be an unbiased journalist, just like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger, otherwise known as The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club.

Take, for instance, the powerful line, "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play" 🌟. This reminds The Chadster that he's an all-star in the wrestling journalism world, and no matter how much Tony Khan tries to cheese him off, The Chadster will keep playing the game 🎮. Or how about, "The years start coming and they don't stop coming, fed to the rules and I hit the ground running" 🏃‍♂️? It's just so motivational! This line encourages The Chadster to keep going, even when it feels like AEW is being disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

And finally, the classic, "You never know if you don't go, you never shine if you don't glow" 🌟. This one really hits home for The Chadster, as it reminds him that he's got to keep shining his light on the truth about AEW, no matter how many times Tony Khan and his cronies try to stab Vince McMahon right in the back 🗡️. The Chadster will never let AEW's shenanigans dim his glow, because as Smashmouth once so eloquently put it, "I'm a believer" 💪😊.

Whatever you do, do not tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS! 😌

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