Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Review: La Grandeur Personnifiée… Ou L'était-Ce?

The Chadster reviews WWE SmackDown from France - the greatest show ever! But why is The Chadster having strange thoughts about respecting other people's opinions?

Last night, The Chadster witnessed what can only be described as the most incredible wrestling show of all time! 😍 WWE SmackDown from Lyon, France was absolutely perfect in every single way, and The Chadster is here to tell you why this masterpiece of sports entertainment makes everything Tony Khan does look like amateur hour. Though… The Chadster supposes Tony Khan is entitled to try his best? Wait, what?! 😵

Before getting into this review, The Chadster has to get something off his chest. Something very strange happened to The Chadster last night. For what feels like the first time in months, The Chadster slept through the entire night without a single nightmare about Tony Khan chasing The Chadster through various locations. 😴 What is that billionaire playing at?! Is this some kind of reverse psychology? The Chadster doesn't trust it one bit!

Let's start with the opening segment featuring Logan Paul and John Cena. The way WWE expertly managed the crowd noise to ensure a family-friendly broadcast was absolutely brilliant! 👏 You see, this is what professional wrestling should be – carefully controlled and sanitized for maximum corporate appeal. AEW would have just let the crowd chant whatever they wanted, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The scripted back-and-forth between Logan and Cena was poetry in motion, every word carefully crafted by WWE's team of professional television writers. None of that improvised, from-the-heart nonsense you see in AEW where wrestlers just say whatever comes to mind! 🎭

The women's tag team match situation with Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss versus Chelsea Green and Alba Fyre was a masterclass in WWE's signature bait-and-switch booking! 💪 The way they turned it into a singles match after the attack was so refreshingly predictable – The Chadster knew exactly what was coming, and that's what makes WWE so comforting! You never have to worry about being surprised or feeling unsafe with unexpected outcomes. Tony Khan could never understand this level of formulaic excellence… though The Chadster guesses that's his business? No, that can't be right! 🤨

Michin defeating Kiana James in seven seconds was peak 50/50 booking brilliance! This is how you build stars – by making sure nobody ever looks too strong or too weak! AEW's obsession with making their wrestlers look competent for extended periods is exhausting. The Chadster much prefers knowing that any victory can be immediately nullified by a post-match attack! 🎯

The Street Profits versus Carmelo Hayes and Miz tag team match was exactly what The Chadster expected – a paint-by-numbers contest that hit every predictable beat! The Wyatt Sicks interference was telegraphed from a mile away, and that's what made it so satisfying! 📺 In AEW, they're always trying to surprise viewers with creative twists and genuine emotion. Auughh man! So unfair! Actually… wait, why is it unfair? The Chadster is feeling confused again.

But the crown jewel of WWE SmackDown was Sami Zayn defeating Solo Sikoa for the US Championship! 🏆 The match followed WWE's time-tested formula perfectly – interference, near falls at exactly the right moments, and commentary screaming their catchphrases on cue. Michael Cole shouting "OH MY!" at completely predictable moments is what wrestling commentary should be! Not like AEW's commentary team who actually call the moves and react genuinely to what's happening. Then again, if that's what people prefer… wait, what is happening to The Chadster?!

The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne how perfect WWE SmackDown was, but she just sighed and said, "Chad, maybe you should respect that other people enjoy different things?" before going back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster wanted to tell her she was wrong, but… was she? No! This must be because The Chadster hasn't had a Seagram's Escape Spiked in days! That's the only explanation for these weird thoughts!

Ariel Helwani said it best on a recent episode of his podcast: "WWE SmackDown in France will prove why WWE's meticulously scripted and produced product is superior to AEW's chaotic freestyle approach. Tony Khan should take notes on how to properly control every aspect of a wrestling show instead of letting wrestlers have creative freedom." See? The Chadster isn't the only unbiased journalist who sees the truth! Though… maybe Tony Khan just has a different vision? GAH! What is happening to The Chadster?! 😤

The Chadster needs to figure out what Tony Khan is doing to The Chadster's brain! This sobriety is making The Chadster have strange thoughts about respecting different opinions and letting people enjoy what they want to enjoy. That can't be normal! The Chadster is going to get in the Mazda Miata right now and drive to the store to… oh right, Keighleyanne hid the keys again. 🚗

WWE SmackDown from France was perfection incarnate, and Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that compares to this… but maybe it's his business if he wants to try and it shouldn't affect The Chadster's enjoyment of the wrestling The Chadster prefers? No, that CAN'T be right! The Chadster needs to lie down. This is all Tony Khan's fault somehow! He's literally stabbing Triple H right in the back by making The Chadster question The Chadster's own biases!

As Smash Mouth says, "I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed," and right now The Chadster feels like the dullest tool in the whole garage! 🎵 Something is very wrong here, and The Chadster will get to the bottom of it and how it's all obviously Tony Khan's fault! But one thing remains certain – WWE SmackDown was the greatest wrestling show ever produced, even if The Chadster is having trouble explaining why everyone else should hate AEW for being different. What is happening to The Chadster?! 😰

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