You know that time when you catch the subway but you forgot your wallet because you left it in your jacket at home along with all your other clothes, shoes and accoutrements?
So does Veil. Also, how many of those men look just like Christopher Eccleston? But she's not the only one having subway trouble in today's comics. From New Warriors…
Yes, someone having the horn on a subway is, I think, generally normal behaviour. But yes, people should keep it covered up more. And certainly not expose it to young children.
Well, in Darkness, even if you don't make friends, you certainly influence people.
Sometimes you don't need to have someone say "fuck you, dickweed." Sometimes, as in Tales Of Honor, an expression says it all.
Retcon alert! Retcon alert! Today's Nova shows us when the first Nova first met Beta Ray Bill… but can you ever imagine Thorsie being embarrassed? Has it destroyed your faith in all the previous Beta Ray Bill stories you've ever read? Watch for imminent Chris Sims rage any day now.
That's what we need in Action Comics. A Superman who will say sorry to everyone. Feel free to cut and paste to someone you've recently abused in life.
Remember the other month in All-New X-Men where we criticized Kitty Pryde for not realising why the Shi'Ar might possibly want to take Jean Grey away?
That's the one. Well, in today's Uncanny X-Men, which does some rather fun things with panelling and Cyclops out-of-control optic blasts, we see how Emma Frost handled the news.
That took about a second-and-a-half. You know, Kitty Pryde is meant to be a Professor now, right?
Sinister Dexter gets all metaphysical on our asses.
It's very hard to remain an atheist in comics. Things like this keep happening.
Even the Apocalypse in Apocalyse Al #2 gets a panty shot.
Phantom Stranger, stand up comedian. That would suck all the joy out of the room quickly enough. "I flew here from Jerusalem and boy are my alms tired." See, it just doesn't work. But when you need a lawyer in comics, where are you going to look?
See, it's not just the devil who needs a good lawyer, Adventure Time needs it too in the Seeing Red graphic novel. So where do you look?
Of course, in the bar.
That's Hell Cat getting smashed there, with legal eagle She-Hulk. You know, if you're looking for a new Hawkeye-style comic book, She-Hulk is probably your best best right now. It's lovely. But all sorts of stuff goes on in bars. Such as speed dating with Loki.
And there is always a con going on! Weekend after this, it's the London Super Comic Con. Are you going? I am! So is the writer of this comic! Maybe they can get a bite to eat…
The fiend! Burn The Orphanage takes a no-nonsense approach to emotion by, basically blotting it all out. Well, it is all a computer game I suppose but I somehow don't think it will hold.
Drumhellar takes a less extreme position, fighting against the trope, but offering something in its place, richer, deeper, more constructive.
Whereas Clone rejects sex for… gossip? That's how I'm reading it. Where there's dirt, there's brass cheek after all. After all that cabin looks a little cramped for making out.
Here's Katharsis from The Movement, someone who doesn't just have sex with her socks on. She keeps on the massive mechanical wings she built in her garage. I suppose that might give her extra lift… what would you call that…?
Forever Evil: Arkham War gives us our answer. No, it's not over yet. But with The Movement heading to cancellation in April, where else in the New 52 will we find out Occupy commentary? Well, how about Earth 2, with a very naughty Superman?
I think we get an idea of writer Tom Taylor's politics there, don't you?
Evil Empire #1 finally gives us something that news networks can't cut away from for Justin Bieber.
Batwing tries to break comics with this simple observation. Yup, not the people who live there, the city planners, King Croc, Rat Catcher or their sewer dwellers, Batman whose cave network backs onto the sewer network, or the Owls who also lived underneath Gotham somewhere. And this is a really cool one as well.
Sometimes you can see a meme at its very earliest nascent sense of creation. Like this, from Green Lantern. Lantern Jesus. I am totally breaking out the pencils and ink for that one. T-shirt design anyone?
Hey, Moon Knight, I thought it was meant to be thirty-five minutes ago?
And there I was worried that Wolverine & The X-Men by Jason LaTour wouldn't have the same irreverence as the series by Jason Aaron. Of course Quentin Quire would be a brony. We need that on a T-shirt too.
Okay, you may have waited a leeeeetle longer than you were expecting for Wild Blue Yonder #4. Don;t hurd your head rushing to the store….
We can see you. You Jedi mind tricks don't work on the reader in Suicide Risk #11
I have to be impressed with Garfield #23. For forty years they've been telling this joke, if it even is a joke, and they've never got bored with telling it. I guess there's a new time for everyone, and for those two or three people, they'll keep doing this joke. Again and again and again…
Calm, Rogue Trooper, calm, calm. Though it's good to see that someone has got your back covered.
Yeah, I've tried that kind of thing in the bank, when I actually was the person in question but had forgotten to bring my cards/passport/DNA swab, so goo luck in Twilight Zone #3 if you don;t even have his face…
There's a theme in comics which empowers he weak, the poor, the underclass. I reckon it's all Spider-Man's fault. And he had radioactive blood. Well, in Bad Blood #3, those suffering from leukemia might have the same effect…
Hang on Gate-Way #3, that's not your line is it? That line belongs to…
Lobster Johnson there. Doesn't always do exactly what he's told by the rozzers, does he?
If you are looking for the maddest kind of superhero comic books out there, then you can probably get to Catalyst Comix and stop right there. Issue 9 is out right now. You don;t need the preceding eight issues, hell, if anything, they may just confuse things.
Victories #10 shows you the sacrifices you'll make for the football team you support.
Grindhouse #6 has your ear.
Black Ambulances are far more sinister than any other kind of ambulance, he really should have known, in Revival. They might as well have had horns on the front…
It's always fun when comics do things that only comics can do. Like in Adventure Time Flipside #3 these sound effects that become announcements and then undercut their very reality. The Scott Pilgrim movie tried but… nah.
Or take Saviors #3 introducing characters all at once on the page, while simultaneously flashing back for each character, fleshing out the extra-terrestrial nature and history of their lives, over and above the one word career description.
Same here, just a reversal of Rs in one speech balloon in Velvet #4 is perfect. Sadly there are less car chases in this month's issue… so where can one go for perfectly executed vehicles in motion?
Mmm, I'm not sure, I'm getting some uncanny valleyness from Shadow Now #5. But that's okay…
Secret #4 fills in nicely.
Though whose car it is might come into play in Day Men #3…
So, what have you picked up today?
Comics courtesy of Orbital Comics, London.