Welcome to The Weekly Static, a desperate attempt at comedy (fingers, toes and every other available and cross-able body part crossed) thinly disguised as look-back at the week that was in the land of television. The goal of The Weekly Static? Why, that's a simple three-point answer:
● to offer a blunt, honest perspective on a handful of random TV news posts from the past week that also highlights your relentless gaggle of news-thirsty Bleeding Cool writers and the quality work they do;
● to spotlight a news item we might've missed that you might find interesting;
● to feed my ego with waves of praise, adulation, social media shares, and a plethora of Eisner Award nominations.
So let's cry, "Havoc!"…let slip the dogs of war…and suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, people!
Putting aside any sense of moral superiority for a hot minute, you should really want to see this happen. Why? Because it's all about setting a precedent, folks. I like to think of it as a kind of "corporate kickstarter," so we're no longer at the mercy of entertainment companies giving us thumb-ups or thumb-downs.
I waited over two and a half decades to find out what the hell happened to Cooper after he tried to put his head through his bathroom mirror…so around 2003? I probably would've found a way to rationalize being okay with the Sinaloa Cartel financing a third season (don't judge me). Obviously not every matchup is necessarily going to work or is a good idea (I have a joke involving Full House and a certain group that I'm not quite comfortable going to yet. Give me time…but for the record? It was really funny), but let's not blow off "The Big Picture" just because the thought of porn sites still makes some of you giggle.
Until this article, I had no idea just how little the Alfred Hitchcock movie had to do with Daphne du Maurier's novel; in fact, you got the title and the fact that both involve birds and humans. Beyond that? No relation. Haven't read the book (yet) so not ready to pass judgment like I have on The Shining and The Silver Linings Playbook (…don't get me started…); but either way, my brain always defaults back to this scene when I hear "The Birds":
Two quick things I want to point out: this article's a great conversation-starter on how easily "most viewed" numbers and other important demographic information can be adjusted/manipulated to support a specific message or agenda; and I'm not sure if fans are ever going to be accepting of Finn Jones as Danny Rand, even with help from The Defenders.
Iron Fist was able to weather the casting firestorm because it's part of the Marvel U on Netflix: that pretty much guarantees it a lot of eyeballs. While I haven't watched it yet, a number of people have said that it's the weakest of all the Netflix series…yet even criticism like that will still earn it some eyeballs that want to see if it's as bad as people are saying (the "accident-on-the-side-of-the-road" theory). As for Jones? He's stuck in the middle of a long-overdue national conversation about representation…though he hasn't exactly helped his own cause out in the past:
Only got one thing to say about that…
Don't judge me…
Sorry…need to go to video for this one:
I'm really looking forward to Jon Bernthal's Frank Castle going full-series…but The Punisher is one of those "superheroes" I enjoy a lot more when I don't think too deeply about who he is really as a character. Which is a really nice way of me saying that I try not to think about the fact that I'm rooting for a guy suffering from a complete and total mental breakdown — one with a body count, I might add. He doesn't shoot webbing or throw a mystical hammer or let loose with repulsor blasts. Castle will shoot you in the face until you stop moving — and the longer it takes for you to stop moving, the bigger the gun he's gonna end up using to make it happen faster. Let that marinate around in your brain for a bit…
Damn, I wish we could get a new season of Rick and Morty every six months…2017 is the year that I really got hooked on this show. Am I the only one who think Morty's the long-term threat and not Rick? I mean, that tirade that Rick went on at the end of the Season 3 premiere…while disturbing…wasn't completely unexpected. It's Morty's general lack of "give-a-s**t" that's been growing since Season 1 that's been truly creepy, and Morty's trigger finger has been getting quite the workout lately (when his left arm isn't possessed by other-world warrior out for bloody personal revenge, that is):
So you have John Cena cost Baron Corbin his "Money in the Bank" opportunity on a throwaway edition of Smackdown…to set-up a match between Cena and Corbin and SummerSlam 2017 with only four days to hype it…only to have Corbin look weak in his loss to Cena…and you want us to believe that the WWE doesn't have an issue with Corbin? I'm not saying it's not legit: maybe he screwed up backstage and this is the verdict from "wrestlers' court." One thing's for sure: if we see Corbin and Enzo Amore losing tag matches to a reunited Goldust and R-Truth, it might be time for Corbin to give Jeff Jarrett a call at GFW stat.
I'm not trying to imply that this is a new problem or that it's somehow Jordan Klepper's fault, but the article got me to thinking that late-night talk shows really have been a "safe zone" for middle-aged white guys. I mean, take a look at this picture:
Notice something? No women. Here's a pop quiz…ready? Which one of these men no longer has a television show? I'll give you a hint: it's not a white guy.
Gotham is one of those shows that I stopped watching and I shouldn't have because from what I've seen, it looks like it's gone in the direction I was hoping it was going to go in. So I'm adding it to my holiday list of shows to catch up on while everything else is in repeats or I'm being bombarded by horrifically annoying holiday programming. One complaint that I hear from Batman fans who watch the show is that the shows has too many villains. Umm…isn't that the case with the comic book, too? I mean, Gotham City always seemed to have a 1:100 ratio of super-villains-to-regular Gothamites in the comics so why should the show be any different? The Punisher could franchise-out his business and still have to pull overtime if he set up shop in Gotham. Actually…hmm…
That's why I prefer Wonder Woman's philosophy:
And here's one we missed:
"In 2016, it was announced that the filmmaker would finally be getting a Walk of Fame star and today, a month after his passing, a campaign was launched on the Indiegogo platform Generosity to seek complete funding for what has sadly become a posthumous tribute. The campaign is supported by Romero's friend, legendary actor Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange, Cat People), who has filmed a video urging people to contribute."
Hope you enjoyed this edition of The Weekly Static…see you next week!