#SpicerFacts: Six Ways Donald Trump's White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer Can Save Comics

It's been a wild first full day on the job for new White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer. As huge crowds dwarfing the anemic ones from Donald Trump's inauguration filled the streets of cities all around the world to march in protest of Trump's comments and policies on women, civil rights, and LGBTQ rights, Spicer was forced to take the stage at a press conference like a hostage being held at gunpoint and insist that actual photos of the crowds at Trump's inauguration were dishonest, false reports created by the media to embarrass Donald Trump, whose inauguration crowds were the biggest of all time.

With the ability to so boldly make such ridiculous and demonstrably false claims in front of dozens of reporters, Sean Spicer could come in handy for the comic book industry, which is also forced to… uh… put a little spin on things once in a while. And with both Marvel CEO Ike Perlmutter serving as an advisor to Trump on veteran's healthcare and Suicide Squad and Batman v. Superman executive producer Stephen Mnuchin set to serve as Trump's Secretary of the Treasury, maybe we could ask to borrow him every once in a while.

Let's put him to the test. We'll start with Marvel's claims that the books they ship to retailers for free aren't meant to spike the unit sales numbers and prop up anemic sales.

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Hmm. Not bad. How about something a little tricker… Ike Perlmutter's vendetta against the Fantastic Four, which Marvel spokesmen have repeatedly denied.

#SpicerFacts: Six Ways Donald Trump's White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer Can Save Comics

Spoken like a real Tom Brevoort. Let's throw him a curveball…

#SpicerFacts: Six Ways Donald Trump's White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer Can Save Comics

Damn, Spicer will say anything! Okay, let's seem him try to keep a straight face with this one.

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He's a total pro. Should we go for one more #SpicerFact?

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Wow, this is working out pretty well. Sean Spicer may be both the press secretary the comics industry deserves, and the one it needs right now.

There's just one more test. If he can pull this one off, he can do anything…

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Well, he tried.

Want to put Spicer's skills to the test for yourself? Download this #SpicerFacts template and post yours in the comments or tweet them @BleedingCool:

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If you're totally lame and you can't use Photoshop, you can just type a #SpicerFact to help comics into the form below.


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About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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