DCMJ to Hand Out Free Marijuana with COVID-19 Vaccine

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from deep undercover inside a reconnaissance tour group of the Capitol being led by Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert. And let me tell you, The Boeb is really giving us all the inside details! But I'm not here to talk about politics. Well, mostly not. I'm here to talk to you about marijuana, amigos! That's right, El Presidente is always down with getting baked, my friends! And now, you can get protected from COVID-19 at the same time!

Washington DC based marijunana advocacy group DC Marijuana Justice has a novel plan to get people to to take a coronavirus vaccine: they're giving away free weed! The group's "Joints for Jabs" program aims to set up booths to give away free marijuana cigarettes outside vaccination sites as soon as the vaccine is available to the general public. Originally planned for inauguration day, the group has decided to push back the plans until the Summer.

DCMJ plans to give out free marijuana for people who get the COVID-19 vaccine.
DCMJ plans to give out free marijuana for people who get the COVID-19 vaccine.

A press release provides more details:

Like many groups across the United States, DC Marijuana Justice ("DCMJ") discontinued its regular in-person meetings when the coronavirus pandemic began last year. Without a safe way for citizens to publicly gather to advocate for reforming the cannabis laws in the District of Columbia, DCMJ is excited for the vaccinations to be widely available. Mayor Muriel Bowser's recent announcement of forthcoming coronavirus vaccines is welcome news to DCMJ. To celebrate this momentous occasion and thank people for getting vaccinated, dozens of DC homegrowers will lawfully distribute free bags of cannabis outside vaccination centers as soon as the general public is able to get vaccinated.

Dubbed "Joints for Jabs," a play on the jab of a vaccine injection, this community effort aims to highlight the need for further local and national cannabis reform while also advocating for equitable distribution of the critical vaccine. DCMJ notes that to safely share a cannabis joint without potentially contributing to the spread of the coronavirus that causes COVID-19, each user must be vaccinated–an objective that necessitates accessibility for all District residents. The District of Columbia's Department of Health has not yet named the public vaccination sites, but upon their identification DCMJ will issue a follow up to this release providing each 'Joints for Jabs' location, dates, and hours of operation.

DCMJ is asking little in return for their generosity, other than that President-Elect Joe Biden consider taking action on marijuana reform. "While no legislation is perfect, the MORE Act addresses many demands that DC Marijuana Justice has been making for years," said DCMJ co-ounder Adam Eidinger of the the Marijuana Opportunity Reinvestment and Expungement Act, whcih was passed by the House of Representatives last year but never taken up by the Senate. "We asked Presidents Obama and Trump, and now we are asking President-Elect Biden to take executive action on cannabis reform within the first 100 days."

That all seems like a lot of work just to get some marijuana legistlation passed. El Presidente is totally on board with all of this, but I think I will just chill out and eat some cheetos while you guys take care of the important stuff. Haw haw haw haw! Until next time: socialism or death, maaan.

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About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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