Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: Abadon, AEW Collision, Julia Hart, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: Abadon Antics Cause Embarrassing Accident for Chadster

Abadon's win on AEW sends The Chadster into a White Claw-spilling frenzy! Can't Tony Khan just tone it down? So unfair! 🙄👻 #AEWChaos

Hey there, WWE faithful! The Chadster is here with the latest scoop that's getting under The Chadster's skin—yep, you guessed it, it's another mind-boggling episode from AEW Collision. 🙄 This time, we're looking at a match where Abadon emerged victorious over Kiera Hogan, which somehow catapulted her into a spooky standoff with TBS Champion Julia Hart. 🤦

Now, let's talk about this so-called "collision". Hogan came out swinging with a shotgun dropkick, giving the match a jolt of energy. Abadon, ever the haunting figure, didn't stay down for long, cornering Hogan and retaliating with ruthless aggression. The two exchanged a flurry of strikes and slams, with Abadon's spine-chilling cutter and Hogan's neckbreaker showcasing their hard-hitting clash. In the end, Abadon secured the win with a devastating move called the Black Dahlia. 🖤 As you can imagine, The Chadster was already peeved by the sight of Hogan being manhandled by Abadon's unorthodox tactics. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤬

But what really ticked The Chadster off was the post-match antics. Out of the blue – or should we say, out of the dark – Julia Hart appeared with that all-too-familiar smirk, only to play a twisted game of hide-and-seek with the lights. Lights off, she's there; lights on, she's not. Come on, what kind of witchery is that? It's like Tony Khan is trying to tell a horror flick rather than write a wrestling show! It's just…auughh man! So unfair! 😠

And let's circle back to that smile of Hart's, okay? The Chadster needs to vent about this. Hart only just won the TBS Championship, and AEW barely gives The Chadster a second to process before they're shoving more storylines down our throats. It's like Khan doesn't get it; he doesn't know how to let a storyline breathe and develop organically like WWE does. No wonder The Chadster is always cheesed off! 🧀 It's as if they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

Auughh man, The Chadster can't seem to catch a break! And The Chadster's got another chilling tale for The Chadster's avid readers. So, get this—there's The Chadster, all settled in to give AEW Collision the scrutiny it deserves, when Abadon shows up on the screen. 😨 With that gruesome makeup and her zombie-walk, she's creeping through the ring, and The Chadster—sitting there with a crisp White Claw in hand—was not prepared for this level of horror on a wrestling show. 😱

Her performance was so convincingly petrifying that The Chadster, in a state of sheer terror, accidentally jerked The Chadster's White Claw, drenching The Chadster's favorite Smash Mouth t-shirt and shorts! 💦 Keighleyanne, rather than showing any sort of sympathy for The Chadster's traumatic experience, snickers from the couch, saying The Chadster looks like he's had a 'little accident.' 😒 It wasn't just humiliating; it was adding insult to injury. 🚫 There The Chadster was, soaked and shocked, all due to the mind games Abadon was playing in the squared circle. It's not like The Chadster can just walk around wearing wet pants! Ridiculous! 😤

And you'd think Keighleyanne's laughter would be enough, right? But no, she has to add, "Bet that never happens when you watch WWE." 😑 As if! WWE knows how to entertain without giving its audience heart palpitations, thank you very much! 🙏 The Chadster was so cheesed off, sitting there, damp and distraught, all because of Abadon's eerie antics and Khan's twisted sense of entertainment. 🧀 Not to mention, now The Chadster has to deal with the smell of spilled seltzer. Great, just what The Chadster needed—a reminder of Abadon's ghoulish gimmick every time The Chadster walks into the living room. 😔

And to put the icing on the nightmarish cake, Keighleyanne wasn't done chatting with that guy Gary long enough to even consider helping The Chadster clean up the mess. Oh no, instead, The Chadster has to listen to her going on about 'taking responsibility for your own actions.' 🙄 As if it's The Chadster's fault Khan booked Abadon to be so freaking terrifying! Khan has clearly crossed a line, turning what should be a family-friendly wrestling program into The Chadster's own personal version of a haunted house adventure. 🏚️

So, there The Chadster was—emotionally scarred, seltzer-soaked, and reputation tarnished—courtesy of Abadon's ghostly performance and Keighleyanne's lack of understanding. A typical Saturday night, thanks to AEW. The Chadster asks you, dear readers, just how much more can The Chadster endure in the name of true, unbiased journalism? 😫📰

Wrapping this up, The Chadster just can't handle how AEW is not only disrespecting wrestling traditions but also seemingly trying to insult WWE's lauded women's division. And just when The Chadster thought it couldn't get any worse, Khan had to go all out and book an interview segment where AEW Women's World Champion Toni Storm taunted Skye Blue. What's with booking Hart and Storm in these simultaneous and overlapping storylines? They have literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back by undermining the hard work and dedication of WWE's female superstars. It's like Khan's deliberately trying to get on The Chadster's last nerve by disrespecting WWE in every way possible! 😡

Remember, The Chadster is your beacon of untainted wrestling journalism, a proud member of The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, alongside giants like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger. Surely, Khan's nonsensical booking decisions are driving them up the wall too, right? Regardless, The Chadster will keep fighting the good fight, all while cruising in the Mazda Miata and sipping on a White Claw, because someone has to tell it like it is. ✊🏻🚗🍹

Auughh man, when will Khan realize The Chadster's life is not some twisted game? Seriously, enough is enough! 🛑

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