Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, Rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: Can The Acclaimed Regain Their Catchphrase?

Published Fri, 21 Oct 2022 17:07:11 -0500

Once again, Tony Khan has made it his mission in life to RUIN THE CHADSTER'S WEEKEND! Earlier this morning, The Chadster heard the news: AEW is reportedly looking to buy out the contract of CM Punk, a hero to The Chadster for the way he utterly destroyed AEW at the All Out media scrum. Hearing that AEW would be forced to pay Punk not to wrestle after the damage Punk did to the company was music to The Chadster's ears. The Chadster has also heard rumors that WWE may be willing to take Punk back, and though The Chadster hates to go against anything WWE says, The Chadster does say to that: let's not be too hasty. After all, The Chadster loves a CM Punk that sows discord in the locker room of AEW. But The Chadster is not so sure he wants that same CM Punk in the WWE locker room, if you see what The Chadster is saying. But the point is that, with CM Punk apparently on his way of AEW, it means that Tony Khan has failed in his mission to RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE by creating an alternative to WWE, and it's time for him to pack up, shut down AEW, and leave The Chadster's beloved WWE alone as the sole major wrestling company in America. But did Tony Khan do that? No! Instead, Tony Khan is planning to have another episode of AEW Rampage tonight! Auughh man! So unfair!

As usual, Tony Khan has booked the card for tonight's AEW Rampage just to cheese The Chadster off! First of all, The Acclaimed will put the AEW Tag Team Championships on the line against The Varsity Athletes, and if they successfully defend them, they also get the trademark to their "Scissor Me" catchphrase back, which The Chadster finds to be just so unfair to WWE because that catchphrase is too popular. Also on Rampage, Orange Cassidy will defend the All-Atlantic Championship in a triple threat against Preston Vance and Rush. Also, Penelope Ford will take on Willow Nightingale and Hook will put the FTW Championship on the line against Ari Daivari. All of this has The Chadster so upset that he couldn't even have fun listening to the album that was released today that he's been waiting for: The Super Deluxe remaster of Smash Mouth's 1999 classic Astro Lounge. Dang it, Tony Khan! You've ruined The Chadster's day again!

AEW Rampage airs at 10/9C on TNT, but if you care about The Chadster at all, you won't watch it. Here are some pics that Tony Khan sent The Chadster totally unsolicted!