Tony Khan has really done it this time. Tony Khan has totally RUINED THE CHADSTER'S LIFE! AEW Dynamite is tonight, and it's a special edition titled Grand Slam, taking place at Arthur Ashe Stadium in Long Island, New York. Dynamite will air live and Rampage is being taped, but the two shows together are billed as basically a PPV on free TV, which The Chadster thinks is just so unfair! And to do it during football season, when Tony Khan in collusion with the NFL to SABOTAGE the ratings for WWE Raw, is just the latest underhanded trick used by Tony Khan to CHEAT at ratings and disrespect WWE and everything Triple H has ever done for the wrestling business. Auughh man! So unfair!
For Grand Slam Dynamite alone, Tony Khan has booked five title matches! Five! WWE Raw only had one title match this week, which just goes to show how much Tony Khan hatest WWE and wants to ensure The Chadster remains permanently sexually impotent. And that's not even counting the card for Rampage, which features both a title match and also a celebrity match! And on top of all that, Tony Khan is promising surprises for the show tonight, which is just totally unnecessary and proves that Tony Khan doesn't understand the first thing about the wrestling business.
First, on Grand Slam Dynamite, Jon Moxley will face Bryan Danielson for the AEW World Championship, which was unfairly stolen from CM Punk just because he made Tony Khan feel as impotent and Tony Khan made The Chadster. The Acclaimed will challenge Swerve in Our Glory for the AEW World Tag Team Championships and probably win, which the crowd will love, but The Chadster will hate. Toni Storm defend the Interim AEW Women's World Championship in a fatal four-way against Britt Baker, Serena Deeb, and Athena, which makes The Chadster absolutely sick. Pac will defend the All-Atlantic Championship against Orange Cassidy in what can only be described as an international incident. And because Tony Khan is such a jerk one company's titles aren't enough to bully WWE with, Chris Jericho will challenge Claudio Castagnoli for the ROH Championship. Dynamite airs at 8PM Eastern on TBS, but if you care about The Chadster at all, you won't watch it.
Then, on a special two-hour extremely unfair episode of Grand Slam Rampage, Jade Cargill will defend the TBS Championship against Diamante, Sting and Darby Allin will take on Brody King and Buddy Matthews in a No DQ match, and Samoa Joe and Wardlow will team up to face Tony Nese and Josh Woods. Plus, rapper Action Bronson will team with Hook to take on Matt Menard and Angelo Parker, which is just so unfair because it's WWE that invented having celebrities in wrestling and AEW is just stealing that idea. Also, Ricky Starks will face Powerhouse Hobbs, Eddie Kingston will take on Sammy Guevara, Rey Fenix will face Jungle Boy, and unnamed competitors will fight for a shot at the AEW World Championship in an incredibly disrespectful battle royale. Rampage airs at 10PM Eastern on Friday on TNT, but only people who are not true wrestling fans would ever tune into that after watching Smackdown.
As usual, here's a bunch of unsolicited pics sent to The Chadster by AEW to harass him.