Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: aew, Rampage, recaps, Smackdown, wrestling, wwe
How AEW Rampage Ruined The Chadster's Perfect Friday Night
The most amazing thing happened on Friday Night before The Chadster was forced to watch AEW Rampage by the tyrannical Ray Flook, TV Editor of Bleeding Cool. The Chadster's beloved WWE gave to The Chadster the greatest gift any wrestling company has ever given its biggest fan. The Chadster's live coverage of WWE SummerSlam was featured on WWE Smackdown last night! During a segment showing media headlines for SummerSlam, WWE used one of The Chadster's articles about Edge returning.
In all of The Chadster's wildest dreams, The Chadster could never possibly have imagined that WWE would actually acknowledge him. So when The Chadster saw his headline live on WWE Smackdown, The Chadster was just so shocked and grateful! And then, something even more amazing happened. Longtime readers know that The Chadster has suffered from an extreme case of sexual impotence brought on by Tony Khan and his plan to RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE by making AEW and using it to compete with WWE, which The Chadster thinks is just so unfair.
But after seeing an article by The Chadster appear on television produced by WWE, a remarkable thing occurred. The Chadster felt a stirring in his loins, one he hasn't felt since January 1st, 2019. Could seeing The Chadster's SummerSlam article on WWE Smackdown be the cure for sexual impotence The Chadster has been searching for?! The Chadster was so excited, he told Keighleyanne to get ready for a wild ten minutes later in the night. She even stopped texting with that guy Gary in anticipation of once again expressing physical love with The Chadster.
Of course, The Chadster had to wait until Smackdown was over. The Chadster likes to keep his priorities straight. And then something terrible happened. AEW Rampage came on at 10PM after Smackdown ended, and as soon as The Chadster realized he had to watch it, The Chadster's loins were still once again. The sexual impotence was back. Dang you, Tony Khan! Why are you doing this to The Chadster?! Why?!
The Chadster tried watching the clip of Smackdown where they show The Chadster's article over and over again, but to no avail. The moment had passed. Keighleyanne had already gone back to texting that guy Gary again anyway. Thanks a lot, Tony Khan. The Chadster's marriage is in shambles and it's all because of you and AEW Rampage!
Here are the highlights from the show:
As if ruining The Chadster's life with AEW Rampage wasn't bad enough, AEW will continue to personally attack The Chadster with Battle of the Belts on TNT tonight, which The Chadster finds just so disrespectful to WWE and everything Vince McMahon and Triple H have done for the wrestling business. Auughh man! So unfair!