Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW All In, Mariah May, recaps, toni storm, wrestling

Mariah May Beats Toni Storm for Women's Title at AEW All In London

The Chadster reports on Mariah May's shocking AEW Women's World Title win at All In London. Tony Khan's booking cheeses off The Chadster once again! 😡🏆

Welcome back to The Chadster's totally unbiased live coverage of AEW All In London, the show that's ruining The Chadster's Sunday and trying to upstage WWE's vastly superior Bash in Berlin PLE next weekend. 😡😤 Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 The Chadster has been chugging White Claws all day to numb the pain of watching this travesty, but even that can't dull the sting of what The Chadster just witnessed. In a match that literally stabbed Triple H right in the back, Mariah May defeated her former mentor Toni Storm to capture the AEW Women's World Championship. 🏆😠

Let The Chadster break down this abomination of a match for you. 🤢 Toni Storm and Mariah May started off trading blows like they were in some kind of street fight instead of a professional wrestling match. 👎 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan allows his wrestlers to just punch each other willy-nilly like that. It's so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

The match devolved into chaos, with Mariah May attacking Luther at ringside and even slapping her own mother! 🤯 Can you believe that? The Chadster is pretty sure Triple H would never allow such blatant disrespect for family values on his shows. Then Toni Storm had the audacity to hug Mariah May's mother, as if this was some kind of soap opera and not a wrestling match. 🙄

The two competitors traded moves back and forth, including multiple hip attacks and a "Storm Zero," which The Chadster is pretty sure is a blatant ripoff of a superior WWE move. 😒 At one point, Mariah May even flipped off Toni Storm! The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan allows such vulgar gestures on his programming. Think of the children, Tony! 👶😱

In the end, Mariah May used Toni Storm's own finisher against her to win the title. The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan would book such a predictable ending. It's like he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

This match was terrible, and The Chadster will explain why. First of all, the storytelling was way too complex. 📚🤯 The Chadster prefers WWE's straightforward approach where feuds are based on simple misunderstandings that could be cleared up with a single conversation. This whole mentor-student betrayal angle is just too much for The Chadster's brain to handle after all these White Claws. 🍹😵

Secondly, the in-ring action was too intense. 💪😡 The Chadster believes that wrestling should be more about rest holds and chinlocks, not all this flipping and flying and hard-hitting stuff. It's like Tony Khan is trying to give the fans what they want instead of what's best for business. 💼👎

Lastly, the crowd was way too into it. 🎉😠 The Chadster couldn't help but notice how engaged and excited the Wembley Stadium audience was. It's clear that Tony Khan paid all these people to pretend to enjoy the show just to cheese off The Chadster. Well, it worked, Tony! The Chadster is thoroughly cheesed off! 🧀😤

After the match, The Chadster was so distraught that he ran upstairs and grabbed a pair of Keighleyanne's high heels from her closet. 👠😵 To protest Toni Storm's inability to use a shoe on Mariah May near the end of the match (which probably cost her the title), The Chadster repeatedly slammed the pointy heel into his own face. 😵💫 The Chadster only paused this self-inflicted punishment to chug more White Claw, of course. 🍹

As The Chadster was engaging in this completely rational and not-at-all extreme behavior, he could have sworn he saw Tony Khan peeking through the bedroom window, laughing at The Chadster's pain. 😱 But when The Chadster turned to confront him, he was gone. This is just another example of how Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster and is constantly trying to torment him. Stop it, Tony! The Chadster knows you're reading this! 😡👀

Stick around for more of The Chadster's completely unbiased live coverage of AEW All In London. The Chadster will continue to expose Tony Khan's blatant attempts to undermine WWE and personally attack The Chadster with his booking decisions. And maybe The Chadster will tell you about the nightmare he had last night where Tony Khan chased him through a White Claw factory, pelting him with empty cans while Smash Mouth's "All Star" played in the background. But that's a story for another time. 😰🏃‍♂️

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